They showed up announced?!

Honestly. Why the complete pile on!? I had very similar treatment from the midwives when I was pregnant, just bullying dressed up as "concern."
They speak to you as if you're very stupid. They try to push you into things which are not in your best interests. It takes a very assertive person indeed to push back, especially when you're heavily pregnant and feeling ill.
Well done for not losing your temper, OP, and I hope things go well from here on.

But this isn't joined up thinking - as they appear to be unaware of the op's communication. And I think the main issue is the way she was spoken to. If they had spoken to her kindly and in a supportive manner - the OP might still have been a little put out by the unannounced nature of the visit but probably would be no post.

YABVU to be annoyed by the fact they visited; it is great that they care and have the capacity to check on patients at home.

If they were rude then of course that was U of them and you can complain.

"Surely they can't do this and need permission first before showing up announced. I would never put my child in harms way, but regardless am I wrong for thinking it's my body and I have a right to not show up/decline things when I want (not saying I am) but regardless"

As a disabled woman with memory and organisational problems, yes I have been known to forget about or get medical appointments wrong. Yes it's 100% unintentional, yes it isn't my fault.

However that doesn't mean that it isn't damaging and it doesn't mean that it wouldn't "put my child in harms way". If I had forgotten some urgent pregnancy appointments, it could have put my child in harms way. That's just fact. If the medical professionals responsible for your care feel the appointment you missed was important for your baby's well being, then you HAVE put you child in harms way. If you don't want anyone to be concerned and investigate what's going on TURN UP FOR YOUR APPOINTMENTS!

There are more and more abuses going on from local authorities now all over the place. You are a nurse or a midwife, you are not a god and we don't know how moral or normal or mentall ok you really are in your own mind. Having a position of care is not a welcome call for abusing and bullying pregnant women.

As someone who is responsible for liaising with health visitors about safe guarding and wellbeing issues, refusing access or support really puts a target on your back. Please don't do that. Put a complaint in, if they upset you but don't refuse access, you'll get hounded.

It what way does it sound like that? Did you read the OP? 😂

If you're too unwell to collect essential equipment for monitoring your health, then either someone you live with should go for you or you should order the equipment online for delivery asap. If you're too unwell to do that and nobody is willing or able to help you, then you should probably call the midwives and ask them to come back out, or call 111, as you might need to be assessed at hospital.

They didn’t have to be rude though?

Literally the same thing happened to me but instead of an unannounced visit they reported me to social services

Sounds like you're avoiding them....why???

This. If you are unable to test then you need help to do so and you missed the appointment where it could have been done.

This isn't a routine part of pregnancy so there must be a reason why you are deemed high risk? If that risk was identified more than three weeks ago and you haven't even managed a test yet, how do you know your sugars are fine? You can't mess about with this and it would be neglectful if they just assumed you to be fine.

This. Best tell them to jog on if it happens again.

As a HCP (not midwife) this sums up how frustrating our role can be.
Can you imagine if they had turned up to find you really poorly or something had happened to the baby??
Every single serious case study into horrific incidents points out how individuals are let down, no joined up thinking etc.
So for whatever reason there was an issue raised about you and they've come out to check. You were fine but have acknowledged you missed an appointment and haven't been doing your BM's.
They are now reassured you are well, and you will get your BM's done in a timely manner for yours and your unborn child's health.
Result.

Op you keep saying you were too unwell to go and get the lancets to do the tests - but surely if that's the case that's an extra reason for them to come to you, and/or to comment that if you have other adults at home they should be helping you more?
Not being well enough to get the lancets doesn't mean the GD test can wait, if anything it means it's more concerning, because your health is already compromised.

By all means complain if their behaviour was condescending, but it sounds like the intention was around welfare of you and the baby.

@Snowedon you can get lancets from any pharmacy, they are cheap and come in a box of 100 and would do you for the rest of your pregnancy, you can even order them online for next day delivery. You come off as not taking your GD seriously at all. I can imagine you not enjoying being told the seriousness of that by the midwives.

I didn’t say OP refused to do the blood tests. but the fact that she hadn’t done them seems to suggest that she doesn’t understand why she had been asked to do them, so if that is down to “poor communication” then fair enough,but I would hope that anyone with access to the internet , and who has already had one pregnancy would be very well aware of the dangers of GD and would have made more effort to get them done. They are simple tests, readily available and can be done even if you are resting in bed. So just do them.

I would complain about this as showing up at your home unannounced is not on (unless they had tried repeatedly to call you and you didn't answer for whatever reason in which case maybe they were justifiably worried). I failed to show up to several of my appointments during my pregnancies as they kept getting rescheduled without anyone checking with me. I told them repeatedly that they cannot do that, due to my job I can only make specific times and when I called to reschedule their rescheduled appointments no one picked up the phone or answered emails, ever, so I just gave up. I also remember getting a call after I missed two days GD testing and I explained to them it was because I was violently ill with norovirus those two days and not actually eating anything and they gave me a lecture about how important it was to test 4 times a day without fail. Totally patronising and I just hung up on them.

The term can't do right for doing wrong" springs to mind

GD is dangerous to both you and your baby. If they hadn't have checked on you and something happened you'd be going off on one

They don’t need permission to call round.

your family member let them in.

however demanding to see your phone and speaking to you the way they did is out of order.

you should put in a complaint

'Basically I felt the whole time they were condescending and rude. '

Then you should have asked them to leave!

It's your home and you don't have to tolerate rudeness in any shape or form.

I would have turned them away saying it's not ok to cold call and you've been unwell and will give them a call to make any necessary appointments.

I can see that. The op,says she late 20s though, in my experience when people write family member opened the door they are trying ro hide they live with their parents, and the family member being told to care for her, again, I suspect a parent and this is a very young woman for some reason proclaiming to be older, wants to be treated older and is resenting the authorititive way the midwives behaved and who felt she had been making excuses not to turn up. Which in itself is often teenage behaviour. Like she’s been caught and got into trouble.

im not sure the op is telling the full story here.