They showed up announced?!

OP just adding on here that I was never able to get a home GD reading either and neither was my dh and was eventually told by the nurse that those kits are utterly rubbish.

I am sorry you had an awful experience.

Dear @Snowedon - sorry you’re poorly and feel crap after this visit and the whole situation. I hope you get better soon and things get a bit easier.
if it helps you maybe to look at it a bit differently - it’s good in a way that mid wives came out to visit you and check you were ok. If you weren’t then it would have been very useful. I do think nurses can sometimes sound a bit weird because they say “how are we feeling” … and I always want to say - not sure how you’re feeling but I feel rubbish!!
But where would we be without them?!!
anyway I hope you manage to sleep and rest and get looked after and feel better soon. Take care xx

OP, being ill can really mess up your blood glucose. You can also feel very ill when your blood glucose is off.

Can someone in the household pick up your supplies and be taught to do finger sticks?

The thing is, from the limited information they have - missed appointment and not checking glucose levels- there could have been something wrong. If they didn’t call round that could have been neglectful of them. Their condescending attitude is a different issue, but might it have seemed even worse than it was because of how invaded you felt (reasonably) at them turning up unannounced?

Unmanaged Gestational diabetes can have very serious results. Even a few days of high glucose levels can have a negative impact on the baby. If it goes on for longer it can be catastrophic. This is not something they could leave for a few days.

I imagine OP would feel exactly the same had they been empathetic and supportive instead of suspicious and belittling

Another nasty kicking on MN for a pregnant woman.

So sorry OP.
Its awful to read.
Wishing you well.

If it helps , I think with GD , they don’t just leave it . I went a GD test when pregnant with my second ( he’s now 10 so a while ago ) , heard nothing . One day I had been out and came home to a card through my door from a midwife , asking me to call asap . When I called they were quite stern ( “ everyone has been trying to get hold of you ! “ - they had a different number for me for some reason ) my results showed i had GD and had to be given insulin and I had to go to the hospital the next day .

well presumably they knocked on the door
i think you are being ott

YANBU, but I’m not surprised at the responses you have got on here OP. On Mumsnet it seems that anyone in healthcare, social workers, teachers etc. never puts a foot wrong, and it’s always the OP who’s at fault. I think those midwives have made a presumption about you because of your age and it’s your first baby. I’ve heard that the COVID that’s been going around recently is a particularly nasty strain so it’s understandable that you have been poorly.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Try not to let those midwives get to you. They should be supporting you, not destroying your confidence and talking to you like a naughty child.

Havnt read all the thread but your first post would make me cross too. They have no right to turn up unannounced ( unless a safeguarding issue is there) and they certainly shouldn't be rude. God so many midwives are rude...i met lots during both pregnancy. The last one lectured me about going to work too soon afterwards. She soon shut up when I asked her if she wanted to pay my mortgage so I could stay off!

Being an adult also means you have the ability to empathise with a heavily pregnant woman who has been ill for 3 weeks. You sound like you were one of the midwives with a god complex.

You’re being unreasonable.

Try hanging your hand down for a few minutes before you test, and making sure your fingers are warm. Then squeeze towards the tip of your finger to trap the blood there

Having just come back to this thread, it sounds like they may have genuine concerns for your well being OP. You sound exceptionally defensive and unable/unwilling to monitor your GD so I really do think they were acting out of concern. Can you imagine the headlines if women that midwives had concerns about were dropping dead and nobody had bothered to check on them?
The only thing that doesn’t sit right with me is you saying that they demanded to look at your phone. If you’re sure that the situation hasn’t made you sensationalise this a little then you do need to raise your concern about that as it really wasn’t appropriate!

I agree with you that that happens, but this doesn't appear to be the case in this instance at all. She accidentally missed one appointment due to illness and had already rescheduled it before this unannounced house call. She'd also kept in contact via email and phone calls with the hospital. The issue here is that the various systems are not aligned. She's lucky that the midwives didn't go straight to reporting her to social services which some would, as that would have been really shitty considering she'd maintained contact with the hospital and rebooked the missed appointment.

Is it standard practice for HCPs to be rude, condescending and demand to look through a patient's phone?

To be honest I don’t understand the point of this thread seeing how it has progressed and with OP feeling attacked etc. All you can do is complain to the NHS if you are not happy.

As an outsider it seems like there are some flags on your record that means you are vulnerable or a risk. I doubt the NHS does a home visit for everyone who misses an appointment so there’s something about you which may make mean they need to. You’ll only find out with a formal complaint.

They have a duty of care. We are so lucky to have the NHS here. GD cannot be left until a time when you’re ready to test. We have a great healthcare service, utilise it

Why did you let them in? It’s fine for them to knock on, obviously it would be unreasonable for them to force their way in but if you invite them in that’s on you.

I've read the OP twice and can't see where she's lied and ghosted healthcare workers. Can you quote where she did?

The way they spoke to you is unacceptable, however I would also be wanting to visit you to monitor you and the baby. Diabetic patients are able to carry on monitoring their glucose with flu/ covid/ pregnancy etc so the fact you haven’t been and you missed an appointment is a red flag - and so it should be.

That red flag will escalate if you disengage - people are so quick to criticise when a health visitor/ midwife/ social worker misses something that causes harm to a baby or a child - but also quick to criticise when they are trying to do their job!!

They don’t know you are safe - they don’t know you are being looked after!

You can do all this without being patronising to a grown adult.

OP I think you were genuinely unlucky and just happened to have a couple of women who like bossing people about and making people feeling small turn up.

They won’t all be like that but there are always people in caring roles that aren’t very caring at all.

It will be more upsetting for you because you get this a lot and they caught you unawares but I would be annoyed and upset too. It’s too much like being “policed” whereas it should feel like you have your community looking out for you and the baby.

Seriously. The amateur sleuths on here

You know. Sometimes the OP posts actual facts and recounts what actually happens.

I know there's been quite a few deleted threads lately, but troll hunting is still against the rules

Did they not suggest a GTT instead? Just talk to your midwife next time you have to see her, they are quite often condescending so I don’t think it’s just your age