Everyone has a room of their own except me and it’s bothering me.

Not what I said. I said walking off without saying anything. The walking off and having alone time isn't the issue. It's wanting to just walk off, say nothing and expect no interruptions that's the issue.

Shower in the bathroom is step one.

I don’t really think it is reasonable to just say DH can’t come into his own bedroom, it is a shared space and there are many reasons why he might want to access it.

If DH is watching TV upstairs, can’t you use the lounge? Sounds like the kids are pretty much in their own rooms anyway.

If you want to go to bed, DH can sit downstairs until he is ready to sleep.

A shower over the bath gets everyone else out of the room, and is inexpensive (just change your taps to one with a shower head coming out).

After that, you see how you get on for a bit with only you and dh using the room.

Then after that, have a chat with him and the kids about carving out some alone time for you

Alternatively, any space in the garden for a She Shed?

Is he in the attic Monday to Friday 9-5? Or even Mon-Thurs?

If yes, you could ask to have sole access to the bedroom at those times?

How would he feel about that? My DH WFH 3 x pw. He mainly works in the dining room but he does like to lie down.

I’m the same when I WFH, I work out of the box room but like to have a lie down as I get tired of sitting.

Is there space to put a little futon in the attic for DH to lie on?

Is there space for a summer house in the garden?

You've missed my point. It's the wanting to walk away without saying anything. OP wants to walk off and shut herself away without saying "I am just going for an hour alone" etc etc. Of course marriage isn't about being together 24/7, that's not what I said.

Can you just ask your husband to watch tv in the living room on an evening and say you’re going to read in the bedroom or watch something else up there? Definitely get a shower in the main bathroom too then you can ban the kids from your en suite and tell them to stay out of your room if the door is shut!

It's not weird. Are you supposed to be joined at the hip.
Nothing wrong with some time to yourself.

That's why I get out to the local Pure Gym instead of exercising at home. And have a dog.

MiddleAgedDread

Cheapest solution: install over the bath
Dearer solution: make yourself a "woman cave" in the back garden

Am voting for woman cave!!!!!

But without the family traipsing through, you get more control of the space again. I'd prioritise the shower to take that control back.

Is there an option for you to use his office in the evenings?

Sometimes it is.... Marriage isn't sitting cuddling on the sofa 24/7, sometimes it's about independence. And peace. And space. Then you can be together again!

I've said for years my regular trips away with work have saved my marriage as we both get a break from one another.

If no one uses the bath I would claim that as my sanctuary 😂

We have plenty of room but absolutely respect each others need for space. That might be Dh having a film night in the lounge, Dh having mates over and using the dining area, me having friends over and using the lounge, me spending hours in the bath etc.
I think that’s what you appear to be lacking, their respect for your need to have space.

YABU. Married life isn't about shutting yourself off alone without saying anything, that's weird. Shower over the bath, quick fix.

Can't you leave the house more? Go to the library and sit and read? Go for a walk? Go to a coffee shop and relax with a book?

Given the whole family have free access through your bedroom to the shower, even if you do ask him to stay out I think it will be quite ineffective as won't be a quite half hour alone but a big performance of MUM NEEDS SPACE, and them constantly checking if you're done yet...
Is there any room in the budget to either install a shower in the main bathroom, or even better, a shed in the garden? Call it a craft room or whatever. Needs to be insulated and have power for lights and a small heater at least.
You aren't unreasonable to want your own space, only unreasonable to feel like it's someone else's fault you haven't got it.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want your own space sometimes.

It will cost more than just putting a shower over the bath but have you thought about replacing the bath with a shower?

The suggestions about hoses, etc, would have been fine if your teenagers weren’t used to a fully functioning shower.

I disappear into the garden, even this time of year, inspecting it, feeding the birds, little bits of tidying.

Airpods while ironing.

Had the same problem with teens and our en-suite, had a shower fitted over the bath, proper shower screen. Important that their shower is as good as yours, no arguments that way.

Everyone else's suggestions of getting a shower in the bathroom are probably better than my one of having long baths or even pretending to have a long bath in order to be able to shut the bathroom door and have some peace. If there are two showers will they monopolise one each?

I’d talk to my dh and get a do not disturb sign too, I’d explain to dh I know sometimes hed have to come in but hopefully mostly he can respect it, and if he thinks it’s on too often to talk to me. And for teen dd explain if she comes in when the sign is on not only does she get no shower but you will barge into her room without knocking multiple times over the next week. (Assuming she’s the kind of teen who might well ignore the sign without further disincentive, most are I think)

I don’t think there is anything wrong in having a conversation with him about it.

if as you say he is a good partner then even if he doesn’t really get it he will be happy for you both to come up with a solution that both of you can work with.

How's your landing op?? My dh made me a bed up there and I had a real space of my own... Sadly, very sadly we have moved and I miss my landing room...

While I was posting, many many other people have said exactly the same thing!!!