Everyone has a room of their own except me and it’s bothering me.

and if I shut the door he will just barge in whenever the need takes him and then leave again leaving it open.

From the OP....

I 100% get this!
I've often had this exact thought in the last 6 months - everyone in this house has their own space except me :( I think it comes from having put myself last for so long (through my own choice) and now I realise nothing in this house is just for me. I'd love to have a space that I can make mine.

I don't have any easy solutions but I wanted you to know you're not alone!

My husband has suggested a garden room which feels quite drastic to me - but again that's my own issue with not wanting to 'waste' money on something that feels selfish.

It seemed a bit weird to focus on OP walking somewhere without speaking.

Agreed that the door thing is a dick move by him.

And phone use with loud noise or bright glare is not fine. If he is doing this.

At no point has the OP said her husband walks out of their bedroom leaving the door open.

Well if there is no room for a shed, you’ll have to set to work digging a cellar!

In all seriousness though - get a shower put in over/replacing the bath and ban teens from your en-suite.
Start some sort of solitary outdoor hobby away from the house.

Where did I say that?

However, or course using your phone in bed is fine. And of course walking in your own bedroom is fine. But leaving the door open on purpose is a dick move.

on a sofa in the living room

Not the point but why can't you use your bedroom to get changed in, you don't need to be in the en suite to put on clothes.

I'd put a shower over the back, and I'd remove the TV from the bedroom so that he has to use the one in the living room.

Do you have another tv in the living room? If so, in addition to installing a shower over the bath, why not get rid of the bedroom tv?

I agree it's not totally fair to tell him he can't come into his own bedroom, with the exception of you being able to say you need an hour or so of solitude, but I do think it's reasonable to make your bedroom a no tv zone - presumably he can get comfortable in the living room if he wants to watch while you want to sleep?

I also think it's unreasonable of him to be inconsiderate in terms of leaving your door open. And if he wants to be on his phone, can he turn the sound and screen brightness down and/or use headphones?

I think you both need to compromise.

That’s a shame, because a tiny garden cabin sounds ideal .

Gently, I think you are being a bit dramatic. All of this is easily fixed. Put a shower in the main bathroom, tell the kids to stay out of your room and explain to you husband that sometimes you need down time on your own so if you are not downstairs and the bedroom door is shut, please dont bother you unless it is absolutely necessary.

Everyone has the right to their own space and time.

you need to speak up and be vocal.

”mums going to put on a face mask and read a book in her room for an hour, if you need anything shout for your dad.”

”DH I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today, I’m just going to take some space in our room for an hour if that’s ok.”

get installing a shower in the main bathroom your number one priority, let the children know to respect your bedroom and knock, take the time to make your bedroom a relaxing place for you free of clutter and with candles and nice lighting etc and most importantly speak up for yourself and your needs.

Why don't you swap rooms with one of the kids? That way you will at least avoid the traffic for the shower. It won't cost you as much as installing a new shower over the bath.

Just saw no space outside.

So, shower over bath is easy. Curtain rail, shower head holder. Just a few screws. New tap with a mixer and a shower hose. Easy to fit.

Then see if thar helps DH feel less annoying. If not, lock on the bedroom door or door sign. Explain to DH you need some space sometimes and go elsewhere when you're chilling. He can go in the living room or his office.

I love the posters who have suggested her sleeping on the landing or going out in the garden (when it's in the minus temperatures across most of the country) 😂

As others have said, shower above bath in the main bathroom. But tbh it sounds more like it's your husband you are frustrated with.

I can’t ban my husband from his own bedroom and if I shut the door he will just barge in whenever the need takes him and then leave again leaving it open.

No you're right, you can't. If you genuinely can't handle your husband coming into his own bedroom when you're in there then you need to take yourself out. Gym, coffee shop, walk, kids bedroom (if they're out), kitchen... You can't dominate a (shared) room and be angry that he dares to walk in to it.

He likes to watch telly stretched out in bed

And......? How else is he meant to watch TV? Curled up in a ball in the corner of the room?

I feel this in my bones. There is no place that is mine, when everyone else has a private space. It makes me increasingly desperate.

But leaving the door open when you leave even though your wife wants it closed is fine?

Using your phone in bed when your wife wants to sleep is fine?

I think this would be fine. A physical sign would be fine, maybe combined with a schedule eg shower issue out of bounds to teens after 9pm. If you can't divide space physically, "timeshare" it to carve off some privacy.

It's completely reasonable to ask this of your husband, it's just mutual respect.

We have a similar set up and I don't feel any lack of privacy at all, but I think we treat the space very differently.

Do you like baths? My go to for uninterruptible alone time is a long bath. With the en-suite available as well no body can complain they need a shower or to use the loo while you’re in there.

It sounds like you have an empty sitting room?

I agree with others. Plus telling teens that if they want the shower they can use it, say, Mon-Thurs - bath the rest of the time. It’s not disproportionate to want your own space.

I often say to my dh I need a bit of time by myself and take myself upstairs and he'll leave me be. No harm in asking, why is he in and out anyway like that ?

Have a conversation with him. Explain that sometimes you just need some time to yourself. And in the absence of having a specific space allocated to you, you are using the bedroom. Get a do not disturb sign for the door. Put it out when you don't want him or anyone else wandering through. They can watch TV in the sitting room, or wait for the shower.