Aibu about Teens new year party disaster

Good. I would hope that the parents of those teens would be embarrassed enough to give a substantial financial contribution. They have raised real disrespectful little shits and I hope they feel ashamed. Especially the ones whose child terrorised the dog.

I think everyone got off pretty lightly tbh to say that there was no adult supervision!! I remember going to two parties at 16 that were supervised. At both parties girls were sexually assaulted (one was me). Hosting house parties for teenagers is never going to end well.

Why on earth did you think a 16 year old would have the skills to control the behaviour of others?!

There's a world of difference between being a 'sensible' 16 year old and a responsible person able to manage a load of partying teenagers .

This is on you.

You were naive to leave the house for the party but it's good that your son is being made to pay back for the damage.
I wouldn't host a party again but I wouldnt ban him from attending other parties, just remind him to respect others' property.
The dog being dyed, however, is absolutely wonderful and high jinx that should 100% be encouraged.

You shouldn’t have allowed this while you were away. You should have been in and nipped any issues in the bud. Your son sounds extremely irresponsible and his friends sound feral. I’d be so so angry. If the party was getting out of control he should have phoned you immediately and you could have called the police.

I think you've been reasonable now, OP. The one good thing to come out of it is that he (or any siblings, if he has them) will be well and truly put off having parties at yours in future, too.

It's hard at 16 - you may be mature but you'll definitely have friends who aren't, and whom you can't control. Well done for contacting their parents - I would be mortified if one of mine had been so disrespectful in someone else's home.

As for the parent of the autistic child - this doesn't give them carte blanche to be allowed to distress ainmals, I'm afraid.

@Hungry123666

Then to be fair the situation with your son can't be compared to a 16 year old having a party.

I'm autistic too. I'm not having a go.

It was more likely the fault of the people were there than his

Yes he needs to have repercussions but this is on you OP.

@Hungry123666

Your post doesn't say he has autism. You've commented it on a post about teenagers having a party and getting out of hand - I assumed it was a similar situation.

What are you reporting me for? Get a fucking grip.

What a poor decision on your part to allow a 16yr old to have a party unsupervised. This is totally on you and not him.

You got away lightly op. Someone could have been seriously injured or killed/sexually assaulted.

I would ask him to contribute but also accept you should have had several adults supervising. They are still minors.

I feel sorry for your DS. That was a massive responsibility to put on him. There are so many occasions when word has got out on social media that there is a party, and a house gets trashed. No 16-year-old can handle that. I imagine it was pretty frightening and traumatic for him.

You never stated he had autism, you can't expect people to know.

My brother had a party at 17. Some of the girls coming invited random people they met in the shop on the way. My dad spent the whole evening manning the front door.

Your DS probably didn't know how to deal with it going wrong. I think your punishment is OTT. Of course no more parties at yours (it wasn't a good idea in the first place whilst you were away) and I agree he needs to help rectify the damage e.g. directly or by paying for some of it. Grounding him, taking away devices etc is IMO unnecessary. How long is this part of the punishment for?

@Hungry123666 You didn’t say he had autism. Don’t try to punish and silence people for responding to what you said without context!

You were unreasonable to think that a 16 year old could police a party if things started to go wrong.

I think parents need to be discretely in the house ready to step in, and 16 is too young to expect all his friendship group to be as mature as you think he is.

I feel very sorry for the dog. Being manhandled/abused by drunken strangers - horrible.

My stepson has an unauthorised party at the same age. We were going on holiday and he didn't want to come (don't blame him, I had a baby and toddler), and would not go to his mothers (he lived with us full time). Plus he had school. Back and forth about it and we decided to trust him. No parties was the main stipulation!
He had it the first night we left! Of course word got out and loads of kids unknown to him arrived and it got out of hand. A painting was slashed, window cracked, my son's cot was broken, a few things stolen and our neighbour's windscreen was smashed. We were having some building work done and the guys actually cleaned up most of it. But as soon as I walked in I knew. The boy was traumatised enough that he told one of his teachers.
I'm not sure what the punishment was - I almost think there wasn't any. His father did not come home with me (he stayed abroad another week for work) so the impact was less for him. But for years after it was an oft repeated meme almost - when his brother moved in he'd often say 'you can trust me I'm not like X' etc. He was very contrite, humiliated and ashamed. I think he learned his lesson without further action.

Leaving a 16 year old to have a NYE was always going to end badly, whether or not he'd had parties before.

You're the adult and this is on you. I do agree he should help pay back a bit whether it's doing DIY to repair things or getting a job and paying for it but it's not fully on him and the whole 2.5k is ridiculous.

Edited: X post, I'm glad you're getting somewhere with getting some answers.

The 28 year old with the banana and the cat is the most shocking bit of this thread.

What the fuck?! Who does that? Why?!

I agree with PP’s that this is entirely on you.

My eldest teen has had parties at the house before but I’ve always been around at the start and at the end and kept in touch during the party. It’s too much responsibility for a teen otherwise.

And it was a definite no from me regarding a NYE party. Every teen within a 5 mile radius is hunting down parties for NYE so it’s always a recipe for disaster.

This was poor judgement on your part as you’re the adult. You can’t lay the blame with a 16 year old.

I think you are the adult and such made the very stupid decision to let teenagers party in your home and you should pay the price not your DS.

DS probably didn’t cause the damage, probably tried to stop it and was way out of his depth to manage the situation that you created.