Aibu about Teens new year party disaster

Yes you are, but I remember that ad too, so you’re not alone😅😅

….countdown to this (and added content from posters) appearing in The Mail

I agree with pp’s saying that allowing the party was a big mistake and I think this is your fault. If he had done it without your knowledge, then he would deserve to be punished, but you are punishing him for your naivety. One 16 year old can’t police a whole house during a party. Absolute madness to let a bunch of teenagers loose in your home without supervision. My 16yo is very sensible (most of the time) but a couple of his friends are absolute rockets and, as much as I like them, I wouldn’t leave them unsupervised in my home. And they know that!!

Yep as others have said- the fault is yours OP. I still remember the New Year’s party I attended at 16. Similar result- a tonne of chaos and damage. some one sprayed “fuck you” in huge letters up the wall of the house. It wasn’t the fault of my lovely friend (the host). How was she supposed to control a group of drunk and wild teenagers?

Your poor dog being manhandled by drunk idiots. I can't believe you left your child to get pissed and trash your house and abuse your pet. Do better.

I think this is on you for allowing him to have an unsupervised party on NYE. Poor parental choice.

I do sympathise somewhat with your son to some extent, my daughter has had 2 house parties and I have been present for both. The other kids continually ignored her requests to keep it down and kept turning the speakers up to full blast after they were turned down.

I think asking him to pay a portion of the damage is reasonable. If you know the parents of friends, it probably isn't unreasonable to let them know the cost and they can (hopefully) choose to have their children contribute too. I'd also tell mine that as a consequence of having to pay for the damage, I now didnt have the money for x,y,z (ie holiday, day out whatever). Sometimes I think mine don't realise that my money is real and finite!

I think it's easy for us all to say we had them back in the day and it was fine-in this era of social media things spread like wildfire.

It is very unreasonable of you to allow a totally unsupervised party for a 16yo-especially if ppl knew you were away and not just at the pub.

No matter how trustworthy-alll it takes is too much drunk/a couple of troublemakers etc for things to spiral far out of control of a 16yo.

What if someone got injured/passed out/needed hospitalisation?

Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing...

I think this post is BS. I don’t believe it for a second

I think you are to blame for allowing him to have the party - you should have foreseen that! Why aren't you claiming on house insurance?

That’s the danger nowadays! Randoms who see it on social media can turn up and that’s where things can get out of control completely.

I remember a friend of mine from college who had like 6 siblings and they all had their own room, so it was a very large house is the point I’m trying to make. I think it was detached.

She was 16 or 17 and her brother was a year younger.

Their parents went away with all the younger siblings and she and her brother were allowed to have a party. It was all perfectly civilised. There was drinking, there was kissing (and maybe a bit more) there was loud music but we were all friends with either her or her brother or a friend of a friend.

No-one was a complete stranger, and many of us knew her parents so nothing was trashed. If I remember correctly (it was 2 decades ago!) I was staying overnight and I offered to help clear up in the morning but she declined and was happy for her and her brother to get on with it since the guests hadn’t left it in such a bad state.

🤮
Clearly they’ve never seen the Yellow Pages advert for French Polishers! (Am I showing my age?)

You shouldn't have allowed him to host a New Year's party unsupervised. That's just asking for trouble.

Allow him to pay for what needs to be repaired. I would be selling the electronic devices to cover the damage fees.

Allowing a 16 year old to have an unsupervised party while you are away overnight is a disaster waiting to happen! Things can ge out of hand all too fast and it's way too much responsibility to expect a 16 year old to be able to police his peers.

I think your punishment is too harsh as you have to take some responsibility too.

What colour did THAT dog end up?

Yes he should pay for at least part of it, but you must be absolutely mad to allow a 16 year old to have a house party while you were away. He may be mature and trustworthy but a houseful of teens plus alcohol equals disaster.

The OP doesn't owe you any proof.

Split it in 2: he repays you half, and you the other because you are also part of this, you gave your permission and made a mistake by trusting him (on this one).
That would be fair.

Having seen very similar happen with a neighbour's son (although his parents had no idea he was having a party), I'd say that you are complicit in this happening as you agreed to it. In our neighbour's case, the party got advertised of Facebook outside of his immediate friendship group and the world and his dog turned up. It got out of control and the Police were called (by another neighbour).

Learn your lesson and move on. I would be more pissed off and disappointed in myself for not foreseeing this obvious outcome.

The responsibility and cost of the damages is on the adult who made the insane decision to leave 16 years olds unsupervised with alcohol for a new years party.

No 16 year old is mature enough to manage numerous other 16 years old under the influence and egging each other on. You should not have allowed them to be put in this position.

Don't contact the other parents either. They did not have the option to supervise this underage drinking party - that decision was on you.

It will be raw just now but in years to come you will laugh at how naive you were to trust a load of 16 years olds with an empty!

You are at least 50 50 responsible in my book 😂

I agree with those saying the mistake was yours. I feel sorry for your son. Very likely he tried to stop it going out of control but was unable.

This sounds like a good compromise.

I attended parties of 16 year olds with no parents presents when I was younger and yeah some were more chaotic than others. I did enjoy them though! Don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to allow them but there must be some consequences if things get out of hand.

I'm wondering how you dye a dog....food colourings? I'm hoping it's all washed off but maybe a trip to the vets to be sure there's no harm done? Vet bill to perpetrator or their parents, of course.

Precisely, I wanted proof it actually happened.