To ask if you take your children out alone

Youngest was 4 and oldest not much more when I took them abroad on my own for the first time. Prior to that I had taken them on trips on my own pretty much from birth (and was in a relationship at that point too).
Don't think I'm that unusual although maybe others met up with relatives/friends at the destinations so had help in that way?

Definitely don’t give yourself a hard time about this! I’d just stick with whatever is easier with little kids for the time being. They change so quick and you’ll soon be off with them without a problem!

This depends so much on circumstances and the age and behaviour of the kids though, doesn't it?

I wouldn't take my three kids alone to soft play, no.

Firstly, I don't drive. The nearest soft play accessible via public transport is around a 45 mins 🚐 ride away and it only comes every hour. So I wouldn't want to risk missing one/one not showing up and being stuck for two hours at the other end. I would possibly consider it only with the eldest who is 6 and could be trusted to sit in a cafe in the shopping centre or look round the shops whilst we waited. No way with the three year old, and no way with the 2 month old because they could decide they want breastfeeding right when we need to leave for the bus, or shit all up their back at that exact moment or something. Plus if I couldn't get on the bus with the pram - its a very tiny bus that does that route, not a normal sized bus, so there's only space for one pram or wheelchair - then again I wouldn't want to be trapped for a further hour in the hope I could get the next bus.

Add to that my 3 and 6 yr old do not play well/independently in soft play and I can't be running around a play frame with a 2 month old. The 3 year old also would probably eventually start trying to mess with plug sockets, or run out, or mess with stuff on tables and whatnot which would be not fun and difficult to deal with what breastfeeding the 2 month old. Then if any of them need the toilet or baby needs a nappy change I'd have to take all of them with me into small, dirty soft play toilets.

No thanks.

Obviously as they age things will change but right now it's definitely not something I'd want to do.

I actually don't find the odd day at home too bad with them because my 3 and 6 year old do generally play together pretty well without too much bother. And the 2 mo is a pretty easy baby so far.

So what happens in school holidays?

really @Pyjamatimenow?

I have a youngest that is/was tricky when out sometimes (asd) but surely at 10&11 your others are old enough for it to be ok?

don’t limit yourself and your kids unnecessarily

Nope. Ours are 4, 10 and 11 and the park or the local cafe would be all I could manage on my own. The four year old is a handful

Not if it’s a ‘this is going to go down in history as the best family day ever or something remembered forever’ just because dh should get to experience it too. Last year I was working and dh took two of the kids camping, I had convinced them to go without me but I really felt it afterwards. If I was a single mum yes, of course!

I've taken my children on holiday alone. Although the youngest they were for this was 13 and 8.

Taken them all over England and wales and lots of places in europe

Why not? I had 4 and did most things with them alone including road and rail trips - did a lot of counting up to 4 though!

Just to add, we do play parks, soft plays, shopping trips, beach, farm visits, picnics etc with all 3 in tow.. I thought you meant theme park type days..

I have 3 DC and often took them out with DH (he worked a lot of weekends when they were young). Just made sure I had snacks!

Genuinely surprised as the amount of people saying they don't as it wouldn't even have occurred to me to not to. My Mum used to schlep the three of us, including one DC with significant disabilities, all over the place so maybe that's why.

Just seems so co-dependent and precious to not be able to leave the house with my own child/children/cousins/random friends without a grown up to hold my hand.

Not in big day trips, no. But then they're all 6 and under (3 of them) and I don't drive.

I'm sure I will once they get older. I would happily take just the eldest alone tbf as long as the public transport wasn't going to be more than an hour each way. But currently not possible as the baby is only 2 months old and exclusively breastfed. Definitely wouldn't take any combination of more than one of them yet! DH used to very rarely take the two oldest on day trips alone before the youngest was born. But he drives and is physically more fit and able than me for things like carrying a tired toddler around etc which I would struggle to do. I was pregnant then too to be fair.

ATM no I wouldn’t. I have a 3yr old and a 1yr old and it can be tricky to manage being out and about as it is.. add in big crowds, excitement, over stimulation.. it sounds not very fun for anybody without a second pair of helping hands. I take them all on wee days out 1-1 with no issues and I’d have no problem doing it alone once my 3yr old stops trying to run off every second 🙈 (yes he wears reins but it’s still stressful)

I know so many women like this though, my DH works away and so I am on my own with my children for days/weeks on end. Have been since paternity leave ended with the birth of each. Yet I have friends who won't even take both kids to soft play alone and message me in a panic about how they will cope with their partner being away for a night.

I find it odd.

I find it much harder to stay in the house alone with the kids for a 24 hour period.

Yes I do but at some ages it’s really not easy and in some cases just not feasible or enjoyable- for example I have a friend with 2yo twins and a 3yo.. 3 walking age kids who are little enough to not consistently follow instructions. She really needs help to have a day out. So if you’re struggling OP don’t be disheartened by all these ‘yes of course I do’ answers. They could be talking about less children or older children than you have.

I used to, yes. Not a theme park because XH would have wanted to go to that, too. But days out by train to museums etc.

It's been hard to do 1:1 after divorce because I haven't often have someone to leave the other DC with, but I do the occasional coffee and then also if one is at a party or on a trip.

This has reminded me of my old neighbours who had three DC. One and then twins. And Mr NDN told me with a completely straight face that they only went on holiday if his in-laws were available to go with them, because they needed a ratio of 1 adult to 1 child to do anything. I get that twins are extra work, but i thought that was a bit odd.bi often wonder if the in-laws still help out as much now the DC are older. They were round doing the housework and gardening virtually daily. Neighbours' house and garden were immaculate!

I will be taking mine abroad soon when I get their passports

That's really sad.

Erm yes? I’m a single parent to 4 if I didn’t take them out alone we would never go anywhere, we go all over; theme parks, beach trips, weekend breaks etc only thing I haven’t done is taken them abroad. 2 of them are autistic one severely so who receives hrc lrm and one mrc lrm and then 2 younger children so yes it’s hard but I manage. How I would love to be privileged enough to never have to take them out alone but I don’t have that luxury as their father doesn’t see them and I have no family help, the more you do it the more you get use to it.

Yes - my DSS has SEN and it's harder to take all 3 children with TWO adults than it is one take the youngest two and 1:1 with the SEN teenager.

Bonkers!

Yes and I bring other peoples children with me too sometimes.

Of course! Why wouldn’t you? I don’t drive and my DH works weekends so I’m always doing days out by myself. Life would be very boring otherwise! Off the top of my head, I have done London zoo, aquarium, seeing family, London museums, light shows, Brighton beach, ice skating.