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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was teacher wrong to say this?

194 replies

Whyamisopathetic · 08/01/2025 23:35

Sitting in the staff room today, when one of the teachers came in. I had just opened a Christmas cake and pointed it out to her,
offering her some. Her response was “Urgh no thank you it’s disgusting. Anyway, everyone knows that only old people eat Christmas cake”

I’m the third eldest, out of a staff of thirty. I worked in her class last year, and she was always making digs at my age. She once told the children I’d reached the end of my lifecycle and made reference to me being around when dinosaurs roamed the earth. She’s also made fun of me being small and laughed when she found out the 4x4 was mine. I don’t know why she does this. AIBU to feel upset and embarrassed.

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 09/01/2025 00:24

Ask her if all young people are as rude as she is? Does she think immaturity in some way excuses ageism? Express surprise that someone has qualified as a teacher without learning that making comments about physical appearance is unacceptable. Actually, raise this with SLT.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 09/01/2025 00:22

So she's been bullying you in the workplace. You need to report all of her behaviour.

Nanny0gg · 09/01/2025 00:14

Why haven't you brought this up with your line manager/SLT/The HT?

It's unprofessional and she's bullying you

CorsicaDreaming · 09/01/2025 00:11

She needs to do some more training. We have got an online one (I work at a University and we have hours of these to do) on Dignity in the Workplace - your scenario could come straight out of that as a "What not to do" example.

StrawberryWater · 09/01/2025 00:08

Extremely rude!

Also I eat a ton of xmas cake and I'm not old thank you very much!

TheyCantBurnUsAll · 09/01/2025 00:07

Older women are valuable. They threaten the patriarchy so there is this vitriol about them. Karen's and dinosaurs for example.

Only 3 species go through menopause. Humans, whales and elephants. Whales and elephants are matriarchal the older females have the knowledge and are essential in their social structure and education of the next generation.

Humans are just too ignorant to see the value of older women because of the patriarchy. I recommend reading the book hags by Victoria smith.

ChiliFiend · 09/01/2025 00:04

What a mean person to react so horribly to someone offering to share food with them. I agree you should report it, but if you feel you can't right now, please at least write it all down so you have a record.

ilovesooty · 09/01/2025 00:04

Why on earth haven't you reported this behaviour? The stuff about Christmas cake on its own is one thing but the comments to the children are clearly unacceptable. Surely you know this?

TheyCantBurnUsAll · 09/01/2025 00:01

On its own it's a poorly thought out comment. As part of the full picture you paint of this teachers behaviour it's definitely unreasonable!

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 09/01/2025 00:00

Have you considered reporting her to SLT? She sounds like a bully

lazyarse123 · 08/01/2025 23:58

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. She on the other hand needs telling to wind her ageist neck in.

Everything0Everywhere · 08/01/2025 23:55

Sounds like a horrible person, not someone I'd want working around my children.
Besides the point but I also like Christmas cake and I'm not old. My children (under 10) also like it.

Fridgemanageress · 08/01/2025 23:52

She sounds pretty sad, lonely and devoid of friends to be such a bully!

Put everything in writing, and send it to HR.

This bullying will not stop to you “man up” and put a stop to it

Hello39 · 08/01/2025 23:52

So rude.

MumChp · 08/01/2025 23:50

She was rude!

Original poster
Whyamisopathetic · 08/01/2025 23:48

TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/01/2025 23:36

Bit of an odd question if I'm honest.

Why wouldn't you be unreasonable if everything you've said is true?

Because she finds it all so funny. She even said she’d told her husband snd they’d laughed about it together. I can’t work out if she’s just trying to make a joke or is actually being g nasty.

OP posts:
Curtainqueen · 08/01/2025 23:45

I don’t know why you haven’t called her ageist comments out before?

Endofyear · 08/01/2025 23:41

She's very rude! I would tell her to keep her ageist comments to herself!

TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/01/2025 23:36

Bit of an odd question if I'm honest.

Why wouldn't you be unreasonable if everything you've said is true?