Toddlers snatching at playgroup

Oops missed the joke 😁 good, have a good time at next meeting!

Oh. My. God. Why are you just going on and on and on
Ummm because its the theme of your post?

Because, indeed, not everybody is going to agree with you?

But go on and continue to think this mum was very wrong and make sure you make your views clear next time, I'm sure it will go down well with everyone.

Alternatively, you could forget about such an uninportant event and just focus on keeping an eye on your daughter and try to ensure you catch her before she actually snatch things from other people's hands.

Of course I'm dramatising! To make a point that I think you dramatised the situation in the first place!

I personally can't think of any good reason for an adult to be waving the ball about, refusing to give it to her
I think this is where I disagree. You could also ask where your dd who had access to all the other balls and toys had to have a ball that was in someone's hands.

If it was another child, a bit older, who your dd had tried to snatch the ball from, do you feel that that child should have given it to your dd?

The fact it was an adult doesn't change the fact that snatching is not ok and shouldn't be rewarded. The mum wanted to keep that ball, for whatever reason, and there was nothing wrong with it. Maybe when tou were not looking, her boy had brought to her and asked to keep it. Who knows.

I have always found it ridiculous that adults are effectively offended by babies at a playgroup. It defeats the whole purpose of going. I am on baby number 3 now, but if I were to be treated the way you were I would not think twice about calling it out now that I have more confidence.

because the last thing you want is a petty mum using any of your child's innocent transgressions to be used as an excuse to treat them poorly
But that's not whappened here. OP's dd snatched once. OP intervened. She snatched a second time, OP wasn't supervising so the mum took the same action that OP had before.

Dd then tried to snatch a third time, and that mum didn't let her. She was correct. What should she had given dd the ball when she was, fir a third time, again, trying to snatch?

Nothing wrong happened at all. Two years old snatching. Normal.

Other parent copying what the child parent did previously in same situation: great.

Other parent showing that she can't always snatch, therefore reinforcing the message: helpful.

I still don't get why OP feels that the correct behaviour should have given her dd the ball after she tried to snatch it from the other mum's hands.

Equally - why does this other mum think she's got a right to 'teach' OPs daughter ... Knobhead behaviour!
She didn't purposely teach her anything. She kept the ball which was her right to do. OP's dd learn from the situation naturally.

I used to run three non-profit playgroups a week. Some kids make it like the movie Lord of The Flies! But you can always see where they get it. Mums/dads/GPs can be a bloody nightmare. One little boy was often violent towards all the other children (in a quite frankly, disturbing way!) and when you met the mum you could tell why. She wasn't violent though, never told him off, spanked him, shouted or anything. She was permissive. She'd smile sweetly, proudly watching him shove a just started walking baby at the ground. Repeatedly. It. Was. Nuts.

She honestly didn't think her little Dudley Dursley could do any wrong. If he punched a kid in the stomach it was because that boy obviously hit him first (they never did). If he gouged at a toddler's eye it was a "boys will be boys" thing. If he snatched a toy then it was because they weren't sharing and were being mean.
One time I watched her go up to a small child, lift them off one of the two red cars and place him, now wailing, on the floor and hand the car to her son. The other car was available but her boy didn't want that one.

He's almost a high schooler now. Throughout the whole 7 years of primary(s) he was most kid's nightmare. And he got away with it because his mum was a local teacher. Ironically she was quite the cow of a teacher too. Very shouty and strict. As long as it was never her kids of course.

OP, don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Just make sure your kids are strictly observed and corrected quickly because the last thing you want is a petty mum using any of your child's innocent transgressions to be used as an excuse to treat them poorly. And if they're acting childishly towards your child for no reason (it does happen) then simply tell your child what's going on, loud enough for people to hear.

"I know darling, some people do things like that. It's very silly so let's just leave them to it and go do xxx or xxx"

Equally - why does this other mum think she's got a right to 'teach' OPs daughter ... Knobhead behaviour!

but withholding more balls was inappropriate. You are probably right and she intimated my daughter and embarrassed her. Absolutely not acceptable for anyone to do that to a 2 year old. Its not developmentally appropriate at all!
I fully disagree. For one, not giving your dd the ball is inappropriate. She would have her reason. Not knowing or understanding the reason doesn't make it wrong.

Also, ahe didn't embarass or shame your dd. Its the totally natural response of a toddler who is learning social cues. It's actually great that your dd gets to learn about this aspect of social life from other people than just you.

Please don't be that parent who consider their child to be so precious, any upset they experience becomes a crime and anyone involved a criminal.

Your daughter learn a good lesson that day. She is not going to be traumatised by it. She will quickly moved on psychologically but will remember next time, or after a new next time. Same as all aspects of learning.

'Gatekeeping'? This thread gets better and better - you've turned a very minor nothing into some diplomatic incident and made the playgroup sound like a fun and really relaxed place to be (that's irony by the way), I'll leave you to it.

I don't think she was appropriate and that's why I was annoyed
You don't know that because you didn't see it. You are making assumptions because your girl cried. She probably cried because a stranger did what her mum does but when it's a stranger, it's more embarrassing, intimidating and an unknown situation. It's good for your daughter to learn that it's not just something that matters to her mum but a social rule.

This tendency to never want strangers to be involved in teaching social conduct and automatically inferring that this stranger was a threat to the child is doing no favour to young generation who dodgy need to learn that their world is wider than those confined to their close family.

Actually, I've just reread your posts and you've said this other mum lacks emotional intelligence and 'if she does it again I'll say something'. You didn't even see it happen! Hopefully she'll be avoiding you!

But you didn't see the interchange as you were supervising your son on the bouncy castle. Overseeing 2 must be difficult - bring a friend to help or let some stuff go?