To think this is a bit mean?

Perhaps dc is a child who bounces off walls,
perhaps he hates being picked up early (mine used to have tantrums if I was earlier for pick up),
perhaps her dc socialises well,
Perhaps mum is a bit broken and not coping.

Do you know for a fact that he finds it a lot, or are you just assuming that based on his age? My nephew at the same age used to beg and plead to go to after school clubs because his friends went, and was most upset that my SAHM sister in law didn't send him.

She's doing what works for her. Maybe it makes her a better mother when she's with him if she has a little bit of downtime to herself? We're all different and have different needs. I'd try not to judge just because she's doing motherhood differently to you.

It may feel a lot to you but I imagine your colleague has her reasons that might not have been fully disclosed to you and unless you’ve heard otherwise her child is likely ok. You say you also find the evenings hard so not sure what the point of this post is other than to be judgmental that this colleague isn’t doing what you think is better.

Absolute rubbish. As others have said, a good parent needs to have reserves of energy, patience, headspace. None of us have any idea of this mum's circumstances, job role or child's temperament. Just being in the same room as your child does not automatically make you a better parent than one who is in good shape in the slightly fewer hours they are together.

I would sometimes walk past - in the opposite direction - those parents going to pick up at 3.15, whilst I had paid for after school club for an hour so that I could go for a walk or a run. Because it was the only childcare of any sort I ever had access to, and without it I would never have had a minute to take care of myself: every minute was either working, or with children. Relentless.
Judge away, but you should try to remind yourself that you never totally know about someone else’s situation.

Yes it's mean. Whatever she says about needing time to recharge and be the best mum she can be, if she's not actually seeing her child she's not doing that. Actions speak louder than words.

How do you know its a lot for him though? Some children have been in nurseries from being tiny until going to school from 8 to 6.30pm through necessity.

As others have said maybe he likes going with his friends and to do the activities they do. Maybe she gets her weekly shop done and all other admin in peace and then can devote the whole evening to him.

Do you know what when my DD was at nursery and I was a single parent there were many nights that I would finish work and drive to pick her up but sit in the car til the last moment. Sometimes just 10 minutes but occasionally near on an hour. Sometimes we just need that little break and me time to recharge and make us better able to deal with the carnage of tea, bath and bed. Your colleagues behaviour is maybe a result of something similar OP.

Maybe she has health problems and needs the break. Maybe she’s exhausted and overstimulated. She might want to get dinner cooked, clean the toilet or go food shopping without a tired child. If she pays for it then she can use it - no different to if she was still working.
I love all the SAHM’s saying they want to spend every waking minute with their child and insinuating that those who don’t are not as good

Why would you care in the slightest what a work colleague does 😂😂

DS is booked into ASC until 5:45 3 days a week, two of those days he does an activity club/sport 3:15-4:15 then goes to ASC 4:15-5:45 but very rarely is he there until 5:45 whichever of it's finishes first goes straight to get him, I had a 4-5 meeting cancel the other day and am owed toil so went and got him at 4:15. If DH and I are in the same office and leaving at the same time DH will drop me off on the way past (have to go past our front door to get from office to school) so I get dinner started while he gets DS , but I get him at the earliest opportunity. They are already long days for young children. Having said that there had been more than one occasion where I've picked him up early and he's cried because he wants to stay and play and have sandwiches!

She goes home and watches TV for a bit and then picks him up

I wouldn't have done it, and I do think that it is a very long day for a child, but perhaps having a couple of hours to herself to unwind means that she's a better mum when she picks him up, and they can then have some quality time without getting stressed. As long as the child seems happy, it's no problem.

I agree it sounds a lot for a little kid. You don't know everyone's individual circumstances though. eg She might get very stressed with him at home and longer days is the only way she can manage. In this case it is in his best interests.

I know I find extended periods of time with my kids challenging and I struggle with the idea I don't always like to have them around even though I love them to bits. I try and give people the benefit of assuming they're doing the best they can by their kids as they try and balance their kids' needs with their own (though I recognise this isn't always the case and some people could be putting more effort in).

Maybe she needs down time for her own mental health?

It's not up to you to judge.

Maybe that extra hour for your colleague makes the difference between a relaxed mum with more patience and a happy mood and a rushed, snappy shouty mum?
Maybe he has asked and asked about going to the club because one of his friends goes there.

It's not abusive, she's not neglecting him, he is in a club for a bit, it's fine.

She didn't say it was her business, she asked what everyone thought??

Why do posters decide they have the right to be so nasty about the OP. Nasty comments about her pants etc. She is asking on an anonymous forum. It is not against Talk Guidelines so why do some posters decide to be so nasty and judgemental about a question.
Don't feel chased away, OP. You have a right to your opinion without the damning comments from some posters who appear to think that only their views right. This site is about debate but some posters police it as if they are in charge of the internet.

Gosh they are very long days for a young child. Very sad.

Strangely when my child was 4 he was very, very anxious as we had had a lot of trauma at home. (Bereavement and also domestic abuse from his dad.) After school club was one of the things that made him happy after we had left his dad and start to get his confidence back. They had a school garden and he liked composting.
He was there as he had to be as I worked shifts and I picked him up early on days I wasn't working as I was always desperate to see him but the days he was there he did have a good time. He is 17 now and doing really well.
So I don't think it's necessarily bad for children. It's a bit odd though that she doesn't want to pick him up early but as long as he is safe then I don't think it's going to cause him any harm.

My kids love after school club. We don't need to use it now so much but when they used to go more regularly they were annoyed if I picked them up too soon!

It is mean. I had a few colleagues who did this with nursery aged kids. In nursery from 7am to 5.30pm. I understand needing to work but we where hybrid so on wfh days could have shortened the days, but nope. It's not judgemental imo, it's shit.

As a SAHM I think it's perfectly reasonable.