The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated. The last thing I want when I am feeling ill is to have to talk to people who I have nothing in common with other than being in the same room.

Has it occurred to you that those chatty women in your bay are probably treating other people how they would want to be treated? Maybe they are bored and lonely and enjoy a bit of friendly conversation. They are treated you how they would want to be treated. Exactly the same as you. Maybe for them the last thing they would want is to sit in silence and all ignore each other.

They are not being unreasonable or rude. You are not being unreasonable or rude. You are just different personalities.

If you don’t want anyone chatting to you, then just keep your curtain closed.

It depends. I was in for two weeks with sepsis. I was in a room on my own for 11 nights of that. I really don’t think I’d be here if I’d been on a ward. It was only the stillness and rest of being alone that allowed me to heal. Conversation was too draining, even with family. I was on a general ward the night before I went home and was ready to make gentle conversation with people. Some of the women on the ward were well enough to talk, others weren’t.

Oh yes, of course , all those private rooms available...

I am sorry for your loss.

It’s incredibly common for families to get to know one another especially if someone is in hospital for a while or e.g. in ICU where everyone has a common worry so to speak.

I’ve been in in ICU three times and every time my family have it to know the other families well when they’ve been in the day room. One of the women had a DH who had had a motorcycle accident, and when they switched off his life suppport she came out of the room (he was in a separate room) she came over to say goodbye to my mum and my mum gave her a hug.

The wife of one of the men who was taken in on the same night as me came to talk to me because her DS had started his GCSE’s on that day and so had mine. He was discharged before me (he’d had a heart attack and stents fitted etc) she came to say goodbye to me even though I’d moved to a different ward by then.

Honestly people have every right to be unsociable and unapproachable, but at least own it.

Perhaps you opt for a private room

Being in hospital can be lonely and scary. It's not rude to want human interaction. Equally it's not rude for you to not want to chat but don't be rude about it.

Wow

This ....having lots more f experience of family spending months repeatedly in hospital illness is very lonely and weeks in hospital is isolating especially if visitors struggle to make a hour or two a week.
Just opt out by doing what you're doing.

Yep that has been the case at our local hospital. All en-suite rooms sounds marvellous but not so great for elderly frightened , confused, distressed patients!
This was predicted when the planning proposal was made for the new hospital.
The clinical staff were so against the idea.
Increased workload,patient safety compromised and it’s a bloody long day for many being left in a room on their own .

i've had 3 extended stays in hospital, on 2 occasions the conversations i struck up with fellow room mates was what kept me sane.. we respected each others privacy, but also when we felt like it would chat.

One of the best was on a gynae ward.. i was there for a week with kidney issues, someone with gall bladder and one poor love with hyperemesis were there the same time, was the catch all ward for women when there was no room elsewhere, the three of us kept each other company, laughed and nattered and sympathised with each others pains and eating issues, and the lady with hyperemesis actually cried the day the other two of us were discharged because we were keeping her positive.

If you don't want to talk then that's up to you, but i enjoy it if its welcomed and invited by my neighbours.

So what...you wouldn't eat or drink a single thing for 5 days if you were bed bound?

You are allowed to get up out of bed to eat your food ... there's always a chair by the bed. Also there's often a family room where you might be able to eat as well...

You can only have ever been a day patient or something... You refuse all food and drink is bizarre if you'd stayed more than 8 hours or whatever.

Only if your curtains are closed, otherwise sorry op but have had some of the best pick me ups and in turn I hope I’ve picked up people’s days too with conversation. Sorry you spend a lot of time in hospital though

Some people want to chat. It’s not rude. Just make it clear you don’t. It’s like life in general.

If you believe that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness
to chat to your fellow patients then I suggest you have been very lucky in your inpatient experiences.

Having had surgery several times for a brain tumour and having been an inpatient for over a month once, people attempting small talk is really low down on the list of possible intrusions.

I’m not a massive fan of chatting to my bedfellows but would always attempt some sort of friendly contact.

Some people are talkers. Last time I was in hospital, the first lot of people that were there were quiet and kept to themselves.

The 3rd lot had one woman who wouldn’t shut up. She kept trying to talk to me and I felt awkward sitting there in silence so felt like I had to reply. Luckily she was only in for a few hours as she was waiting for discharge

I also decline all offers of food or tea/coffee, the idea of sitting in a bed and eating is grim.

So clearly you haven't ever had to be in for a number of days, let alone weeks, if you don't eat or even drink while in hospital. A day with no company can be fine especially if you're inclined that way, but after a few days any social contact other than overworked nurses seeing you to do observations can be a blessing!

I can sit totally immersed in my Kindle as well as anyone, but just a cheery "good morning", or "how did your tests/scan go" reminds me I'm actually a real person & the world still exists outside the ward.

You sound incredibly ignorant.

If you aren’t a friendly person then that’s fine, stick your noise cancelling headphones in and ignore everyone around you.

But it’s not for you to decide if people make conversation with each other. In fact it’s the height of rudeness and ignorance to judge people for daring to interact.

If you want privacy you'll have to go private.

Exactly this!!

It’s normal to talk to people and there’s nothing rude about it, unless the curtains are closed.

I would think you a little odd OP. Wards can be lovely, supportive places. Often patients encourage each other in their physio for example, or just chat to try and take away some loneliness or worry. Sometimes people are in hospital for months and have few, if any visitors.

As a side note nurses often want curtains open so they can keep an eye on your health easier.

I was coming on to say that. Very claustrophobic and isolating being surrounded by closed curtains.

I've spent about 6 weeks on the wards myself, and another few at my late partners bedside.

I always got chatting with the women around me during my stays. Sometimes someone would say something like "I'd like a nap now" and close their curtains and we'd make an effort to be quieter for a while. I can't imagine spending days with someone and fully ignoring their existence.

It was more quiet in the mens wards when I was with my partner but there was a few jokes and laughs and I made friends with a couple of other women who were visiting every day like me and we'd go to the cafe together when the ward closed for lunchtime.

I'm thankful to all the friendly faces who helped add some bright spots and laughs to some very scary and stressful parts of my life.

I think a lot of people find comfort in chatting to people going through similar/parallel.

My mum has chemo every 3 weeks and always chats to people. My mum has been through this before so she’s often comforting people and answering questions they perhaps haven’t had time to fully digest or think about with the medical staff. I’m very proud of her.

If you don’t want to chat, you can just say “I’m terribly sorry I’m just going to have some quiet time with my headphones, thank you”.

Life is hard enough without cutting off people. So no it’s not the height of rudeness.

As somebody who worked for 30 yrs as a nurse I’d say most people do want to have a chat and be sociable with other patients and indeed other peoples visitors . If you do not want to pull the curtains slightly and headphones on . Last time I was in hospital I was in a hospital that mainly has all private en suite rooms , barely saw any staff members all week , bells go unanswered etc . From my POV it was fine , I have relatives to visit and I was very ill so mainly asleep but many elderly people really find that being in private rooms is too isolating .

I've been in hospital twice in the past few months. Both times in a 4 bay ward with other women. Curtains round for ward rounds and rest, and open for Meals and general chat. I met some lovely people who were sometimes miles from home without regular visits (including me), scared, in pain, old and young. None of them encroached on people's privacy if they wanted it. I slept when I wanted to, chatted if I wanted to, chatted to them if they wanted to, or just watched screen and had headphones on. They were all helpful, friendly and supportive. There was only one patient and her family who were rude to staff, noisy and belligerent, but thankfully she wasn't there very long and I just closed my curtains when I wanted to ignore them.

I've spent years of my life in hospitals with one thing and another, other patients make it bearable.