The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

Ahhh, poor OP! I see - it's absolutely understandable you don't want chit-chat when feeling nauseous. I really hope you feel better soon.

I hope you feel better soon OP 🤞

Some people love chatting and finding out about others. To have your curtains closed and NOT talk to others would be incredibly rude!

If it wasn't for the other patients I think I would have gone totally do-lally with my own company.

The snoring didn't really help though 😀

Op your update bears no resemblance to your original post.

I was admitted to hospital for 3 nights back in the summer.

One day I felt absolutely awful, kept throwing up and sweating profusely due to side affects of morphine. So kept my curtains closed.

The other days I started to perk up, and once visiting hours had finished me and the other patients in the bay who had our curtains opened chatted for ages (thank god it was a women’s only ward). We shared snacks and biscuits and got to know each other.

We are in Yorkshire though, so it’s the norm here to strike up conversations with complete strangers.

The day I kept my curtains closed was awful. I felt incredibly claustrophobic and the time dragged. An hour felt like 10.

YANBU to want peace and privacy when in hospital OP, but please do not be judgemental and rude about the other people who simply have a chat with others. Being in hospital can be upsetting, lonely and traumatic for some people, let’s not shame them for wanting a bit of normality and comfort eh?

I'm not a sentimental person, but that's really heartwarming and I bet you're absolutely right about the healing power of friendship. I hope you made a full recovery.

You sound an absolute delight. Your poor wardmates.

Of course they arent being rude, they are being normal human beings. Conversation on a ward is the norm. Wanying to isolate yourself behind a curtained partition all day is not.

That sort of behaviour, imo, is the height of rudeness.

YABVU.

Calling it "the height of rudeness" is pretty weird to be honest. If you don't want to chat, that's fine, but other people aren't rude for trying to talk to you. Maybe they think you're rude for not talking to them. "certainly you don't make small talk with complete strangers" - but why not?

Oh goodness, I couldn't feel more differently! I was in an acute respiratory ward for ten days in September last year - it was my first stay in hospital other than giving birth - I was quite ill and couldn't get out of bed much (two lung drains in, eg) but I made such lovely friends on that ward - some went, others came, some like me stayed and we formed a lovely group despite our differences in age, background, diagnosis etc. And yes, we all helped each other with various things like filling in the meal requests, calling nurses if needed, depending on which of us was most mobile/fit at the time.

I took my first unaided walk (stagger) to the toilet one night after a week of commodes, pushing my IV drip and dragging my heavy lung drain receptacle with me, and everyone cheered 😀. We made a good joke out of me looking like Wee Willie Winkie flitting through the town lighting the lanterns.

That time would have been immeasurably worse for me without the camaraderie of the others going through similar unpleasant things. My 'best friend' in there was 85, she was so funny and witty despite going through awful things, and I still wonder if she managed to get home in the end.

I had one person assigned to the bed beside me for a while and she made it politely clear she wasn't up for chatting, which was fine, we're all different.

Of course it's not rude. The whole premise of the comedy series "Only When I Laugh" was that people in hospital talk to each other. Your arbitrary rules are not the norm, I'm afraid.

I hope you feel better soon.

I was in hospital for an extended stay after suffering from sepsis. The nurses said they could “feel the love” in our little 4 person bay as we all talked, supported, laughed, cried and just helped each other through our respective recoveries over the days and weeks that followed. We are all still firm friends now and I strongly believe the support we received from each other helped us all survive. I was told later on that we were all put in that bay together as we were the sickest patients on the ward and it was easiest for the nurses to keep an eye on us simultaneously. I don’t think they envisaged the power of friendship would be so healing.

There are no rules - unspoken or otherwise - on this. On my ward, the sister doesn't like the curtains closed during the day unless someone is dressing/undressing, receiving personal care, having a consultation, or dying. It is a hospital, people need to be seen to be observed. At night we can creep around and peek behind the curtains to make sure people are sleeping and not dead, but during the day the curtains are kept open.

Each to their own. I spent 3 months in hospital. Sometimes I was chatty, sometimes I just wanted to escape into my headphones. There were many times though when knowing people on my ward was mutually helpful. Sometimes to call for assistance or to help get things for those less mobile, for example.

It’s just a case of ‘reading the room’. I would chat if in a room with others, but I would note someone’s body language. If they were reading, not engaging and no eye contact, I would assume that person doesn’t want to be sociable, and just not engage with them unless they spoke to me first. You can’t accuse others of being rude just because they approach things differently to you. I can’t imagine anyone would be forcing their chat on you if you’ve got your curtains round the bed, or have head phones on.

I think you should be mindful that other patients might be in pain or just feeling very low and uncommunicative, but no, I don't think it's "the height of rudeness" to make a passing friendly remark to someone in the next bed (for example) or to let that develop into a conversation if it happens naturally.

@arcticpandas@arcticpandas I take on board what you say.

I honestly hadn't imagined that so many people would want to socialise in such a situation.

I even had a private NHS room after my difficult birth delivery when I was kept in for a week so didn't stay in a ward then so have no experience of what other people are describing.

Surely the problem with drawing the curtains around your bed is that, if you happen to be in the middle bed, it means that the people on either side of you now ALSO have to have at least one of their curtains closed potentially blocking their view out of the ward (apart from the end of their bed)?

May be okay if you were the last bed next to the window, but I can see why people wouldn't like this, and I say that as someone who likes privacy and whose idea of hell is sharing a ward.

Also, I've never been on a ward where this was even permitted. Nurses like to be able to see their patients from the nurse station.

It's easy to signify you don't want to chat.

Headphones on, book up.

Or pretend to sleep.
Or be on your laptop/phone.

Rude? No. Odd mindset

I think that's weird. I'll happily chat to anyone. I had surgery a couple of years back and was in hospital for a few days. The ward had 4 bed, and there were a couple of changes of occupants in them, but I had great craic chatting to them all! Really helped pass the time!

I'm in hospital a lot - probably five months in total last year. I've been on chatty wardswhich were good, silent wards which were also goodm and I always have a tablet with headphones, although mostly I just read.

Worst experience - I was talking with my consultant and a pharmacist about changing my medication and was asked about family medical history, which I don't know about because I'm adopted.

Once they'd left, the extremely oversharing woman in the next bed who had been listening to everything started questioning me all about my experience of being adopted. I was exhausted (there was a screamer in the same ward), in pain, and it was awful. I was almost glad to catch c.diff because I got a room to myself.

OK, I understand that this is your coping strategy. But many people who are scared and anxious find it comforting to talk to people around them. You should try it! It makes the time go faster and who knows, you might actually meet lovely people who will make you feel better while in hospital.