The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

I was in hospital today waiting for an x-ray and witnessed a chavy family abusing other patients for being foreign.

They only stopped when a man also sat waiting interjected and told them they should be ashamed of themselves, at which point a few more piled in to tell them to shut up or they'd get security.

Funnily enough, they made no racist comments when the person who came to treat them was from overseas, racism of convenience. Twats.

It's you that is rude.

I've been in hospital a few times. Chatting to neighbours is something of a relief, you bond in a unique way.

My biggest bugbear is other people's visitors. Best thing ever was when I was in with covid and no visitors allowed.

Ive had a 7 week stay on maternity award and 6 day stay where i shared with 3 older ladies, lots of chatting went on both times nearly 30 years apart.

I think it’s fairly normal to have a bit of chat.

I work in a hospital and visit wards and have had a couple of admissions, it seems fairly standard for curtains open for visibility for nursing staff and for some to chat a bit.

Not rude either way really, it’s just different people wanting different things.

I’ve had loads of ops and short term hospital admissions related to my Crohn’s and building a bit of camaraderie with room mates actually can be of benefit.

For example, being able to help each other when possible (pick up something dropped, sharing magazines, taking the older lady for a spin in her wheelchair to give her a change of scenery) to calling the nurses on behalf of another in difficulty. I’ve both given and been on the receiving end of people’s kindness.

Knowing when to back off and give others space because they’re tired or in pain is important, and the same courtesy has been given to me.

Better than the lady in the bed opposite my mum who’s in hospital at the moment, who instructed the nurse to shut her curtains because ‘they keep staring at me’. Nobody in the room is looking at her! In fact it’s an ill, quiet ward so nobody is intruding, everyone is being respectful.

This is normal behaviour on hospital wards....

I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated.

Those who do make chit chat are just treating others how they would like to be treated.

People are different.

I remember watching the kids TV show in the 80s/90s called Children's Ward.
Essentially a children's soap opera set on a hospital children's ward.
Every time a new patient arrived the first question from the other kids was "what's your name and what ya in for".
It's natural to want to chat but it's also natural to want privacy.
Just say "I don't want to talk about thanks" when it comes to personal/medical questions.

DM was in hospital for nearly 2 weeks awaiting angioplasty about 15 years ago, with a group of four other women waiting for the same procedure in her bay. Visiting times were only a total of 3 hours per day. Those five women kept each other sane and calm and able to wait for their procedures by their regular chat, laughter and support of each other during that time. DM made a lifelong friend while she was there. They relished each other’s visitors as much as their own. Hospital can be a frightening and lonely place, especially if you are very ill, and having company can make all the difference. If you don’t want to participate, you can give clear signals to that effect, but not everyone feels the same way you do.

the problem is, there's no escape!
I know if it was me I'd end up listening to someone's life story/woes/ailments and having to sympathise with them, when it's the one time I have my own problems which I'd rather prioritise just for once in my life
and once you establish yourself as a person to talk to, that's it, you're fucked

I've been in hospital a lot. I'm very much an introvert.

Sometimes I don't speak to people at all, and neither does anyone else, sometimes it organically becomes a full on sleepover vibe! 😂

I've never been on a bay where we were allowed to keep curtains closed during the day though - they want to be able to see you're not dead on the floor in my experience.

You quite literally are being unfriendly, but it's your prerogative to conduct yourself as you see fit. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lonely not loney

Curtains shut = leave me alone
Curtains open = a review of body language and openness to chat and yes some people may chat. Obviously if person has headphones in and is completely ignoring eye contact they don't want to chat. But others in the bay may be bored and loney and find comfort in chatting to each other.

I think it’s normal to chat to the other room occupants and quite odd to think it’s rude. In the olden days when we used to stay in hospital after a birth women sometimes made friends.

The last time I was in hospital I was 23, my mum had been dead ten days, I’d cared for her for a year prior, and a drunk driver wrote off my dad’s car the day before NYE, and nearly wrote me off too. I don’t know what I would have done without the two older women either side of me, and their lovely conversation. If you don’t want to chat, fine, but it’s certainly not downright rude. I’d say that keeping your curtains closed all day is rude, and I say that as an introvert.

I once comforted a lady who had been diagnosed with bowel cancer by the doctors on their morning rounds. They had called her DH but didn’t wait for him. She came over to me in a state of shock and told me, and I am sure she appreciated a hug and a friendly ear. Hospital ‘friends’ for many gets people through a tough time.

Keeping the curtains closed is fine for the person in the end bed, but for the poor people in the middle of the ward it's horrible if all you can see is opposite you and not to the sides - especially if the windows are in the end of the ward.

So much nicer to have everything open unless the curtains are closed for a reason.

Chatting in neither here nor there, if you're don't want to put headphones in or head in a book.

depends on the person

It’s not the height of rudeness, but if you don’t want to chat that’s fine. Just politely say you’re not feeling well/ aren’t feeling like chatting, put your headphones in and ignore them.

I wouldn’t want to chat much either, but it’s not rude if others try as long as they stop when you tell them you don’t want to. Some people like to chat, others don’t.

If I saw a patient in a bay with constantly closed curtains, ear phones in, not even a hello to others in the bay, I'd assume they had SEN, ND, didn't speak English or maybe MH issues.

There is a difference between saying hello and being friendly vs someone chatting all day and night! Some people have no visitors at all, so might benefit from a 'hello, how are you doing?' I'd hate constant, all day chat though!

Good lord I absolutely agree OP.

I've never had to experience an NHS ward and been lucky enough to go private 3 times in the last few years.

But I barely even talk to the nurses and make myself into as small and convenient package of a patient as I can. I also decline all offers of food or tea/coffee, the idea of sitting in a bed and eating is grim. If someone tried to small talk to me I would make it VERY clear that I am not the person they are hoping for.

I don't give a hoot if that's rude or not. You won't get better if you are constantly worried about offending someone or feeling obliged to be social.

I'm very introverted and quite shy. I feel super uncomfortable sleeping in a room with complete strangers I haven't spoken to and a bit of chat makes it less weird.

On a recent two week stay in hospital the 3 other women in my bay (not the same 3 for the whole 2 weeks) all chatted when appropriate. Eg, not too early or late in the day, not when people had medical stuff going on, not if curtains were closed or headphones on.

Hospitals can be lonely enough without being confined to silence.