Christening Dilemma

Talk to the vicar. She/he has sorted things like this before.

If you have strong faith and want to bring your child up in the faith then maybe go to the church and find out who's the people you want there who show an interest in helping your child learn about the faith?

My children all had a godparent who had grown up as a Christian ( was christened) and a sponsor who was a friend who was not Christian but who would support them in life ( different people in each child's case), that's allowed in CofE.i'm my nephew's godmother so it can be a family member, they dont have to be close and serve no legal responsibility ( many people think they will become guardians if something happens to the parents, they won't). It's supposed to be someone who has your child's best interests at heart and can provide them with moral or religious guidance and support if the need it in life ( although for many the latter bit doesn't really happen these days). Choose a relative or non christian friend/ someone you know cares about your child.

My husband was christened in the CofE and he didn't have specific godparents, but it was done in a normal church service. I think his baptism certificate says something like "parish of X church" next to "godparents".

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Why would you want 4+? Two is enough. The point is for them to have a special bond with your child, to be there for them and to give them spiritual guidance. Your friend plus your DHs chosen relative. Job done.

Do you plan to bring your child up as a Christian? If so, then why not just have the baby christened during a normal service? It's just a quick few minutes at the front and then the whole congregation welcomes them into the church.

Have you grown close with any of the congregation of the church you and your baby attend?

It's traditional to have three, two of the same sex as the baby and one the other sex BUT also traditionally the baby's parents are two of those three so you only need one more, of the baby's sex. So thats your friend. Job done!

I work in the Church of England and although we allow as many 'godparents' as the parents want to stand up, make the vows, and we give them all godparent cards, only three can go on the 'official' baptism register. And for myself, I alerts think it looks a bit naff when there's more than about 4. I think your way wouldn't be embarrassing at all. If anyone asks you can say you decided to go traditional.

One is enough, you don’t need any more than that unless you want to.

Agree with those upthread, ask some people who attend the church you go to.

Do you have to have godparents? It's a bit of a tokenistic role isn't it; rather that an official legal role.

Are your or your DH's godparents still living?

You could ask if any would go on a generation further

It would make most sense to ask people from your church, as the point of godparents is to help raise them in the church

Two is enough even one

Agree with the suggestions above. Probably start by thinking about people in your church who are likely to be a guiding/positive influence with your child. You could always discuss the dilemma with your vicar, they may well have been through this before and could advise. It may be possible to christen without godparents (I’m not sure).

In the Church of England, the official godparents need to be baptised and ideally confirmed, so they are able to make the promises about bringing the child up in the Christian faith.

Church of Scotland so might be different
We had our children christened all together (it was very important to my MIL that we did, neither of us were bothered) and we had a very low key christening. We didn't have god parents, the minister asked the congregation as a whole to guide them if I remember correctly.

I wouldn't worry about the atheist sibling necessarily, one of myDS's godfathers is a Muslim by birth and agnostic by belief. And defo if there are ppl at church I'm sure they would be thrilled to be asked! I have loads of godchildren but my husband none (he is super introverted so not many friends) and when a family asked him to be godfather to their kids because they'd seen how lovely a dad he is, he was really pleased.

I don't have a godfather. I only have a godmother.

I would ask people who you know from church to be the Godparents - is there anyone who has been particularly important to you or your husband in your own faith journeys?

Just ask the one person or the friendliest member of the congregation of your church?

Just had another thought. Does it have to be a C of E christening? If not you could try asking at your local Methodist church. You don’t need godparents there.

You need to think outside the box. Who do you know who is a Christian, or at least not antagonistic towards Christianity? It doesn’t have to be family or a close friend. The job of a godparent is not very onerous and virtually everyone would be delighted to be asked. Have you been to church or to any church groups like mums and tots or a women’s fellowship group? If you are serious about bringing your child up as a Christian it would be a good idea to start attending your local church for some of their activities even if you don’t feel ready to commit to attending Sunday service each week. That way you are bound to find someone you get on with. Maybe a fellow mum for example.
I’m sure the vicar would be happy to discuss your dilemma with you and is very unlikely to ask you to accept total strangers as godparents. .
Good luck with your quest. Christenings are wonderful occasions. They are a chance to gather the whole family together with the little one at the centre. They don’t have to be ultra religious. So if I were you I wouldn’t give up on your desire of having one. Godspeed.

You do not have to have family
If you ask one person you don't have to ask their spouse
2 Godparents is fine
The GP ought to be Christians - the whole point of GP is to nurture your child spiritually

You don't need the spouse of a godparent to also be a godparent. It's fine for your friend to be a Godmother without her DH being a Godfather.

In my family we don't appoint relatives as Godparents anyway. It's fine not to appoint your or DHs siblings.

The obvious choices would be whoever you had as bridesmaid & best man at your wedding?

Two is totally fine. One is probably ok - check with the minister.

No one will judge you by the numbers standing up with you, I promise.