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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cut this "friend" off?

93 replies

JustifiedHussy · 08/01/2025 16:19

NC for this.

Im going to use friend lightly in this as im beginning to think this person isn't actually my friend at all. However I don't know if I'm being abit sensitive as it's just been one thing after another today.

I was invited out for lunch today by a "friend". As soon as we met up, they kept pushing for me to say i would pay for the food by saying they had paid for my birthday meal last time we were out so it was my turn. I simply said I wasn't the person who asked to come out and I was either happy to pay for myself or just go home. (I'm skint, on mat leave and dont get paid until Fri).

After lunch we went for a walk where they started bringing up situations from my past. It started with "i saw x the other day, he's aged, said he saw you a few days ago with baby and he's sad you've moved on since the RO". I just said "that's nice" and changed the subject. They then carried on their coversation and said things like "you know I've always loved you, even when you were a psycho 17/18yo", "there's no psycho quite like you" etc.

I have alot of childhood/relationship trauma which this friend knows about. They also know the amount of effort I have put in to my self and my own mental health in order to healthily deal with the shitty early life I was dealt.

I don't know what to do. Have I overreacted? AIBU to tell them to Foff and go NC?

*edited to correct a punctuation error

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 08/01/2025 18:38

They're not your friend.

Dotto · 08/01/2025 18:32

She wants to tear you down and put you in your place.

Dump the thick bitch, you never have to see or speak to her again!

Createausername1970 · 08/01/2025 18:21

From the sound of it you have a very difficult early life that you have worked hard to distance yourself from.

Look to your future, not your past.

You don't need people in your life if they are stuck somewhere you no longer want to be.

I would do a slow fade and eventually block.

Ohnobackagain · 08/01/2025 18:20

@JustifiedHussy you are right to keep away. They’re trying to push your boundaries by labelling you ‘psycho’. I’d go nc.

OurDreamLife · 08/01/2025 18:19

They are toxic. Block and don’t see them again.

thepariscrimefiles · 08/01/2025 18:18

JustifiedHussy · 08/01/2025 17:21

It's not really a new, one off thing. For example, on my birthday they dipped my baby's dummy in their pint and was going to put it in DC's mouth before I grabbed it. They said i was disgusting for having it in the pram and had done that so i would throw the dummy away. Called me dirty. And when I said I was struggling with BF so had started to introduce formula and said i was clearly going to end up neglectful like my own parents. I called them out on the above, aswell as some other comments made, and was again called a psycho.

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She sounds utterly toxic. What a horrible thing for her to say. You should cut her off completely.

Pinkyhere · 08/01/2025 18:14

Yes absolutely get rid. But since it sounds as though this person has a nasty edge, I would archive and ignore rather than block (just to monitor their reaction) and then when enough time has passed fully block.

churrios · 08/01/2025 18:13

Some friendships end and they should when they no longer make you feel good. This is one of them. You aren’t the same person you were when you made friends with her. Move on. Congrats on your stable world, hope you have a lovely mat leave.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 08/01/2025 18:08

You are doing really well. You have set good boundaries and they seem to be pushing it. Possibly they are jealous of you holding everything together?! They don't sound supportive. Baby and toddler groups might be a good place to forge some new friendships. We had some nice church ones where older ladies came and made cups of tea and it was really nice and supportive.

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 18:07

After reading all your updates, I think definitely go NC, They sound nasty and I think it might be good to break free from your past and not have such regular reminders of a time that possibly wasn’t great, make new friends and maybe keep your past ( or some of it) to yourself, sometimes people seem sympathetic when listening to other peoples problems but they often use those same problems against them at times in the future. Good Luck, new year, new beginnings

Original poster
JustifiedHussy · 08/01/2025 18:06

No the person is female. Not an old romantic flame of any sort, nothing sexual and nothing to do with my baby.

OP posts:
Silvers11 · 08/01/2025 18:04

@JustifiedHussy Is this a female friend or a male one? Sounds more like a male, from some of the things you have said. Is this an old boyfriend/baby Dad by any chance?

Wonderi · 08/01/2025 18:02

Is he an ex?

I don’t understand why you want to be around someone you clearly don’t like and makes you feel like this.

Just stop meeting up with them, it’s not worth it.

Are you having sex with them?

Kashmiri24 · 08/01/2025 17:56

Get shot of this person, they are horrible.

larklane17 · 08/01/2025 17:54

You are doing really well for yourself, I think that you should be proud of how far you have come. Keep going with having strong boundaries. You don't need this toxic person in your life.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 08/01/2025 17:39

She tried to guilt trip you over someone who you got a restraining order against?

Called you dirty? And psycho?

I would never speak to her again, and block her on every social media so she can't give any info on you to anyone else.

CovertPiggery · 08/01/2025 17:34

JustifiedHussy · 08/01/2025 17:21

It's not really a new, one off thing. For example, on my birthday they dipped my baby's dummy in their pint and was going to put it in DC's mouth before I grabbed it. They said i was disgusting for having it in the pram and had done that so i would throw the dummy away. Called me dirty. And when I said I was struggling with BF so had started to introduce formula and said i was clearly going to end up neglectful like my own parents. I called them out on the above, aswell as some other comments made, and was again called a psycho.

Show quote history

What an awful human being they are.

100% drop them

EmotionalSupportBlanket · 08/01/2025 17:33

The more you write, the worse they sound. Drop the rope, OP. Fade away or go nuclear, your choice.

Original poster
JustifiedHussy · 08/01/2025 17:30

JustCrow · 08/01/2025 17:28

What’s the RO??

Anyway- this person is toxic. Non friend. Dump.

RO- Restraining Order.

OP posts:
Yellowseat · 08/01/2025 17:28

That sounds very energy sapping and there were a whole lot of lines crossed about your past to boot.

I’ve cut 2 people off for those behaviours because they were also the type not to be able to handle conversations if you raised these kinds of issues.

Do what you feel is right for you

JustCrow · 08/01/2025 17:28

What’s the RO??

Anyway- this person is toxic. Non friend. Dump.

ruethewhirl · 08/01/2025 17:24

fatphalange · 08/01/2025 16:53

I'd just not bother with her again. It sounds like she was pissed off that she didn't get her free meal (which was a weird and cheeky suggestion!) so was having little digs at you. Not nice.

Exactly this. You don't need friends like her.

PinkArt · 08/01/2025 17:24

Absolutely nothing you've written about this person suggests they are a friend. Not one word.
Block and move on without that negativity on your life.

Original poster
JustifiedHussy · 08/01/2025 17:21

maddening · 08/01/2025 17:01

Is this a one off out of character thing? If so and they had previously been a good friend then I would give them the benefit of the doubt and ask them outright what this was all about.

It's not really a new, one off thing. For example, on my birthday they dipped my baby's dummy in their pint and was going to put it in DC's mouth before I grabbed it. They said i was disgusting for having it in the pram and had done that so i would throw the dummy away. Called me dirty. And when I said I was struggling with BF so had started to introduce formula and said i was clearly going to end up neglectful like my own parents. I called them out on the above, aswell as some other comments made, and was again called a psycho.

OP posts:
HangryBeaker · 08/01/2025 17:20

I bet the friend is male (haven't rtft)