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AIBU?

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Dh says it makes him feel like he lives with a serial killer!

232 replies

Pippyls67 · 08/01/2025 15:24

I want to paint my kitchen red. Tried a tester pot and Dh says it looks like I’ve committed mass murder and not cleaned up after me. I think it’s jolly. Very old house, quite dark though with low ceilings and exposed beams, stone walls etc. Maybe it could he construed as ‘spooky’. Depends on your take on it I guess. I really want a deep rich colour feature wall. What colour would you go? Should I stick to my guns (excuse the pun) and stay with the red? Edited to say yes to first couple of replies- you’re right, I must consider him too. He’s not prepared to suggest a colour tho as he got free reign on his own study. Just comments unhelpfully. He’s very old tho so he says he’s fully entitled to be curmudgeonly from time to time. So up to me. Maybe on reflection this is why I want a jolly colour. Or Oh my God, stream of consciousness thinking now, am I trying to bait him for mild entertainment???? No - I’m old too - but I’m not that cantankerous. Ahh the fun of being a pair of retirees.

OP posts:
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Hankunamatata · 08/01/2025 15:50

Dc wanted red bedroom but his room is dark so we compromised on red wall and banana yellow for the others.

Pippyls67 · 08/01/2025 15:50

CollectedStories · 08/01/2025 15:45

Some women appear to do this. I notice it with both my SILs. The kitchen as Their Space, their DHs relegated to some kind of man cave situation. I'm fond of both of them, but they have some deeply essentialist notions about gender norms.

As stated - I’m old and from a very traditional farming country background . It’s no excuse, but it kind of explains the essentialist gender norms. Perhaps I need dragging into the 21st Century by my Damart dressing gown cords 😁!

OP posts:
JayJayj · 08/01/2025 15:49

How about a plum or burgundy?

It’s his house too so I think if he doesn’t like red then you’ll have to find another colour.

IveLostMyUsername · 08/01/2025 15:48

I have a pepper red kitchen. However I live in a council built 1930s two bed terrace. With a tiny galley kitchen. And DH painted it for me as a surprise when I was at work.
It works in my kitchen (have had lots of compliments) but there's not too much space that's actually wall as opposed to cupboard so that might make a difference.

ChinUpDandy · 08/01/2025 15:46

I love red (although agree you should find something you both like). Can you post a picture of the kind of thing you have in mind? Is it red units or walls or both?

Pippyls67 · 08/01/2025 15:46

kiana2015 · 08/01/2025 15:40

Also forgot to add why not consider burgundy it's nice and more pleasant

Oooh now this floats my boat. Burgundy walls and a nice glass of burgundy to toast it! Could do that of an evening.

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CollectedStories · 08/01/2025 15:45

sandyhappypeople · 08/01/2025 15:40

Off topic, but why do you call it 'your' kitchen? not 'our' kitchen?

Has he moved in with you to your house and you still haven't got used to compromising over joint decisions? I would never paint a room a colour my DH hated.

Some women appear to do this. I notice it with both my SILs. The kitchen as Their Space, their DHs relegated to some kind of man cave situation. I'm fond of both of them, but they have some deeply essentialist notions about gender norms.

maddening · 08/01/2025 15:44

Turquoise, green or dark blue are great feature colours in kitchens - or an amber colour

Pippyls67 · 08/01/2025 15:43

nationalsausagefund · 08/01/2025 15:32

What kind of red? Baked cherry sounds like it would be fine, if quite… imposing. An orange-y tomato red would be a lot day-to-day. I think reds only work in editorial shoots or if you’re a very talented interior designer.

But ultimately, both adults in the house need to like the colour. Choose something DH can live with.

Yes it was a pepper red, so a bit orangey. I love the idea of burgundy or cherry red. I’m very taken!

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CleftChin · 08/01/2025 15:43

I once had a red wall in my living room - I thought it was a good idea at the time, but honestly, it did start to take on a sinister feeling - didn't help that it was textured wallpaper under it...

I've gone with a kind of washed out yellow almost lime green (hard to describe) in my kitchen, and I wasn't sure at first, but it's had the opposite effect to the red and grown on me.

sandyhappypeople · 08/01/2025 15:40

Off topic, but why do you call it 'your' kitchen? not 'our' kitchen?

Has he moved in with you to your house and you still haven't got used to compromising over joint decisions? I would never paint a room a colour my DH hated.

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 08/01/2025 15:40

How about aubergine or plum?

I’m really into dark greens at the moment.

kiana2015 · 08/01/2025 15:40

Also forgot to add why not consider burgundy it's nice and more pleasant

kiana2015 · 08/01/2025 15:39

No you both need to be in agreement. How would you feel if he blew your joint savings on a fancy car, same principle

pigsDOfly · 08/01/2025 15:39

Yeah, a completely red room might be a bit much.

A long time ago I suggested to my DD that we might paint walls of the downstairs loo red, until she pointed out to me that it would look like someone's period had exploded all over the walls.

AppleBlossomMay · 08/01/2025 15:37

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Agree with all this

ItGhoul · 08/01/2025 15:36

I love red but probably not in the kitchen. And I'd definitely compromise and find a colour you both like. I wouldn't want to live in a house that my partner had insisted on painting a colour I hated.

MissDoubleU · 08/01/2025 15:36

My upstairs bathroom is a beautiful deep red and it’s luxurious and relaxing. Colour used right is better than all these off whites and greys people curse their lives with

Crumpetandcake · 08/01/2025 15:35

I’d try and find a colour you both agree on (I don’t think I’d like it if my husband painted our kitchen a colour I’d described as murder-y 😂)

Maybe a deep teal (like this: https://www.littlegreene.us/tea-with-florence ) or a rich purple (https://www.grahambrown.com/ae/product/famous-paint/109616-master/ it’s quite dark so I’d probably just use it as an accent colour)
Or a red with pink undertones so it’s less gory looking (https://www.grahambrown.com/ae/product/ianthe-paint/109954-master/ or www.littlegreene.eu/leather)

Tea with Florence™ | Little Greene Paint Colors

A rich blue-green paint shade from the National Trust archives. A highlight of Claydon House in Buckinghamshire, the Chinese Room is widely considered to be the finest surviving example of Chinoiserie in Britain. Eighteenth-century travel and internat...

https://www.littlegreene.us/tea-with-florence

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 08/01/2025 15:35

Two things - 1) as previous posters have said, it's probably not best to go ahead with a colour your other half definitely doesn't want. Has he actually said that? Does he mind?
2) How dark is dark? Do you have a light floor, big airy kitchen, multiple windows, white/silver appliances?

I think it could look very bright and cosy at the same time in the right room, but your description of the house makes it sound a bit like a dungeon!

nonbinaryfinery · 08/01/2025 15:33

I'd also paint it red cos it's my fave colour.

CollectedStories · 08/01/2025 15:33

You need to compromise if you both live there. I've no objection to strong colours, but bright red would make me feel as if I were in a McDonald's.

Comff · 08/01/2025 15:33

There’s red and there’s red: It’s a difficult colour to do well as one of the photos shows! Burgundy isn’t too bad but still difficult. Especially for a dark room. A big grand period high ceilinged kitchen I could imagine it in but I’m struggling to think it will look good with low ceilings.

But if your partner hates it then why stick with it? There are so many colours.

Dh says it makes him feel like he lives with a serial killer!
Dh says it makes him feel like he lives with a serial killer!
nationalsausagefund · 08/01/2025 15:32

What kind of red? Baked cherry sounds like it would be fine, if quite… imposing. An orange-y tomato red would be a lot day-to-day. I think reds only work in editorial shoots or if you’re a very talented interior designer.

But ultimately, both adults in the house need to like the colour. Choose something DH can live with.

BellissimoGecko · 08/01/2025 15:32

I'd go for heritage colours that suit the age of the house - and light! Maybe have a feature wall in a burgundy?