To think your 30s are the most knackering decade?

40s are more knackering. Perimenopause, health problems, and parents with health problems/ dementia.

For me...
Just so so tired - by about 5pm every day I'm absolutely done in. And that's when my teenager comes to life.
My hormones are all over the place, I go from 0-60 in seconds, hate someone one day, love them the next. So I can't even trust myself to think.

My 30s have been good to me, so I'm wondering if it'll be my 40s that hit harder! My 20s were harder than this by far; I couldn't wait for them to be over by the time I reached 29. Felt like a never ending drag of stuff.

20s - loss of remaining parent, studying, establishing career, buying a house, having first baby which was a shock to the system. Got through that by the skin of my teeth and having a strong and equal marriage.

30s - settled and progressed to senior management in my career, second baby was much less of a shock and I handled it okay. There was a very traumatic incident early on, but that was a freak accident so I'm discounting that. Can't say it didn't have an impact, but we're all okay. Definitely not a regular part of just being in my 30s. Mortgage free, moving full time to Norway in a couple of years (which is exciting rather than scary). Kids are happy and healthy, same for me and DH.

On the whole, I'm surprised so far. Doesn't mean there's no room for things to go wrong, I'm only halfway through (35) and getting early peri symptoms as it runs in my family. So Christ knows. I'm just going to enjoy it while I can, and hope for the best!

Try being old.

Can someone explain what is so taxing about menopause? I know the basics but what is it that is the biggest issue for most?

Sorry OP, but for me its the 40's. Stroppy teen who i am dragging kicking and screaming over the GCSE revision line, Knackered, Body is fucked, Peri menopause insomnia is a killer, trying to keep career going while moving up the ladder all while being the main carer for a elderly parent who is housebound and has Alzheimer's.

I honestly look back at how knackered i was in my 30's and it feels like a cruel joke now. Moaning about making costumes for world book day, having my parents be a help to me rather than me being their carer.
How i miss soft play and lightning McQueen.

I Can't remember the last time i had time to myself, where i didn't need to put someone else's needs before mine and it is absolutely soul destroying , and add in the fear that this could be life for the foreseeable future and that by the time i am done looking after everyone else, my own best years will be behind me

Depends if you have kids and what age they are. 30s were harder than 40s have been for me. I had DDs at 29 and 33.

Oh jeez. This thread is depressing.

Yours sincerely, a soon-to-be 36 year old

I think your 30s can be A knackering decade if you have small children then. Many don’t! Either having had them younger or later.

But in your 40s you have perimenopause, then you have actual menopause, you start to get more ailments and generally more tired as you get older etc Plus teenagers can be just as exhausting as babies in their own way.

You also might have a more senior job in your 40s or later which could be either more or less knackering depending on the job. Or you could end up having to change industries or anything.

Teens will be knackered due to hormones, in your 20s you might be burning the candle at both ends (your own choice but then so are children and careers) or that could be the decade when you have your babies.

For many people, 30s will be the best it gets!

Every decade so far has been more exhausting than the last.

I turned 50 recently - I am bracing myself

50s perimenopause did a number on me.
Dcs leaving home aging DM and df died.
Working overtime to squirrel some money as pensions not going to be much.
Starting to look older.
Trying to hold back the yrs is exhausting.

I can see this. Teenagers are so needy and easily offended. Menopause seems to be about being sick of meeting everyone’s needs and being fully fed up with having to be nice and caring all the time.

My forties has been way harder. Menopause, teens and aging parent with Alzheimer's. I'm at an all time low point.

Nooooooooo 😂 puts hands over ears and eyes and sings la la la

😂

Elderly parents in your 70s isn't a bed of roses either. My father would probably say his 90s were the most tiring but evidence of his sleeping hours says the 100s take it out of you too.

AT any age you tend to fill your life to 110%; any extra you do in the 30s is offset by your greater strength and stamina, from then on, the absolute amount you do may decrease but your energy levels decrease even faster.

I think it's more that your 20s are the least knackering (in most cases), I had DC at 24 and 28 and even with baby/toddler stage I would say I wasn't knackered, but I might have been if I was 10-20 years older when I had them

Agree with PP peri is the absolute pits. And like many others, mine was perfectly timed to compete with a cognitively impaired aging parent, a terminally ill MIL, teenagers and a more than full time job.

It does get easier once you come out of the other side however and you are able to take better care of yourself.

40s for me as my kids are young and I didn't have my second til 38... so it's really kicking me now. Christmas was brutal. I feel like I need a holiday to recover

40s are easily worse

It gets way worse

I'm in my mid 40s, with 3 young children (youngest is a toddler), a paralysed and dying father to help care for, and a frail and extremely elderly grandmother to help to care for.

I'm pretty tired and get a lot less rest than in my 30s. But I'm happier and I can see that my time is spent doing good things that make a big difference to people I love, so that helps.

LOLNO

Just wait until you hit perimenopause.

They were for me. Two young DC with very little family help. Working NHS.
The DC were great as teens in the next decade, so much easier than babies and toddlers and my parents never made it to elderly.

Yep, throw in a teen with autism and mental health issues, and late 40s/early 50s is a nightmare!