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Original poster

AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?

265 replies

DeliciousDonuts · 08/01/2025 14:27

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. Its like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. He hugs it, works on it to add details, hand washes it etc.

I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year old guy would need this? Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”.

It makes even less sense, because he just seems so… “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion.)

Am I just… overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he's been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

As I said before, I’m not very experienced in dating or men, and would appreciate any perspectives you can all give on the matter. Am I being reasonable in considering breaking up? Is it a bit of a mixed bag? Perhaps not?

OP posts:
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7
IfUCantDance · 08/01/2025 15:10

I just can’t see an issue with this.

(Other than echoing PPs’ queries about the size of the thing)

Ghostin · 08/01/2025 15:09

Is it actually 20 feet long? Like three times the length of the bed?

When you say he builds it do you mean he is sewing them himself as a kind of hobby?

It is an unusual hobby if so, though it’s not sinister sounding. You can break up with him for any reason, it’s never unreasonable to do so. But perhaps you can learn to live with it as just a human quirk, if he’s great in other ways.

Snowpatrolling · 08/01/2025 15:09

Is this why I can’t get a boyfriend? Cos I’m a nearly 40 year old woman sleeping with all my stuffys?? Meh well! At least I get a comfy nights sleep! 🤣

ThatOpalSquid · 08/01/2025 15:08

Even ones that sleep with 20ft stuffed dragons…

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:08

Fartypants83 · 08/01/2025 15:05

All men have quirks and hobbies. The trick is to find ones you can live with.

Or just to live with them full stop. The more men who have harmless preoccupations/hobbies the better. It keeps them out of trouble. Just look at the state of the men in this world who have made politics, conspiracy and worse their hobby.

LostittoBostik · 08/01/2025 15:07

WednesburyUnreasonable · 08/01/2025 14:55

I am normally very skeptical when people here refuse to give details of a hobby because it would be too identifying to anyone who knew them irl, but “building a new 15-20 foot dragon plushie to sleep with every year” might force me to eat my words.

Ha!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/01/2025 15:07

WhydontyouMove · 08/01/2025 15:04

It’s a body pillow. Lots of people have them.

Please can I see a picture of your 20 foot long hand decorated animal shaped ‘body pillow’? Think I’ve missed this craze.

ArcheryAnnie · 08/01/2025 15:07

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/01/2025 14:43

You can dump someone for any reason at all. You are allowed in all circumstances. People, particularly women are told to give a reason. Nope. The reason can be, 'I don't like your face' if you want. Two people start a relationship, one person leaves. You don't need the other person to agree you're allowed.

However, He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Good luck if you think most men are emotionally intelligent, confident and will get up at 4.30am to drive you to work when they don't have to. He sounds like a gem. He may not be the gem for you, and that's OK, but his dragon is fine.

This, really. You can break up with a man because he has tassels on his shoes. Or has a massive stuffed dragon. Or for no reason at all beyond you want to.

It's your choice. But if he's someone you do love spending time with, find attractive, and who treats you well, in your position I'd want to consider if I really did think the dragon was a deal-breaker.

Ineedaholidayyyy · 08/01/2025 15:06

BobbyBiscuits · 08/01/2025 14:46

You'd expect most men to drive you to work at 5am even though they start at 9? And to watch TV shows they hate?
It's clear you're a bit naive. If you think the dragon is a turn off then tell him. But if he cuddles up to it when you're not there then how will you know?
Tell him it seems childish. He'll probably still do it but feel the need to hide it from you.
I sleep with a cuddle pillow when alone. Not a dragon, but still. I'm in my mid 40s.
Obviously I'm female but if he's not doing it while you're there is it that much if a problem?

I agree with this poster , you sound naive. I don't know many people who would be happy to drive their partner to work at 5am all the time , or watch TV shows they dislike all the time.

Honestly from what you've described he sounds like a great partner with a lot of good qualities. I'd think carefully about potentially breaking this off because of one minor thing like this. However , at the end of the day if it really bothers you and you can't shake that feeling then you can't change that , just be prepared that not all relationships will be like this.

Oceangrey · 08/01/2025 15:06

This would be a ridiculous thing to break up over if in other respects he's great.

So he has a bit of a weird hobby... It's not hurting anyone else and it sounds creative.

Fartypants83 · 08/01/2025 15:05

All men have quirks and hobbies. The trick is to find ones you can live with.

WhydontyouMove · 08/01/2025 15:04

It’s a body pillow. Lots of people have them.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 08/01/2025 15:03

If it puts you off, it puts you off

What does he say when you tell him this.....that you aren't sure you can continue to date him because of Puff?

Ponderingwindow · 08/01/2025 15:03

I recently replaced the generic pillow that I use for shoulder support with a stuffed animal. As soon as I saw it I knew was the perfect size and shape as opposed to the official product. Plus it’s cute. I’m sleeping so much better because my shoulder is better supported. I’m in my 50s.

Besides, life without whimsy is boring.

Snorlaxo · 08/01/2025 15:02

My adult son sleeps with a complicated combination of folded and wrapped blankets that I call him a burrito as a joke. He presumably likes the sensory side of things. I sleep with one foot in and one foot out of the blanket which is my weird quirk. I want the safety of being under the blanket but also get hot and suffocated by blankets and this works for me. It’s weird but I sleep alone so 🤷‍♀️

MrsWinkly · 08/01/2025 15:02

Ohshutupsimonyoutwat · 08/01/2025 14:41

20ft?!! How big is his room? Confused

That's pretty big 😬
Are you sure about that measurement OP (have an image of OP wrestling an enormous serpent just to get through the bedroom door...)?

Also, I have a grinning t rex on my bed, stuffed obviously.
I'm 52 soonish and I love dinosaurs.

He sounds like a nice chap to me.

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:02

You say he works on it and that he talks about it to his friends - I am guessing that they do this in a kind of ironic way, even if you don't quite understand it.

I think you are being a bit mean about this. He could equally say that he is put off by your love of certain games that he doesn't like, yet he plays them with you.

One good thing is that you raised this issue here on the forum rather than with him, as you can vent and then forget about it.

If you end your relationship over this my guess is that you will live to regret it.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 08/01/2025 15:01

Love me, love my Bagpuss (I'm nearly 56). And I'm still mourning the loss of my baby hood teddy who went awol during a house move 20 years ago. My late DPs Snoopy is reverently stored with his other previous things.

He sounds like a catch in all areas, but if he's not your lobster, throw him back. If I was 30 years younger lol..... bless him....

Chuchoter · 08/01/2025 15:00

My ex father in law slept with a huge Dragon every night for thirty years until he got divorced.

kattaduck · 08/01/2025 15:00

As long as it's not some naked Manga girl pillow I wouldn't have a problem. It's essentially one of those body pillows which a lot of people use.
Mind you I'm prejudiced I still have my stuffed toy from childhood.

MaryGreenhill · 08/01/2025 15:00

What a wonderful person.
You are so lucky OP . The dragon is not a concern believe me.

Sherararara · 08/01/2025 14:59

It would put me off, but if it’s literally the only quirk in an otherwise good relationship I wouldn’t end it over that.
Just roll with it (unless there’s no room to roll😀)

Cyclebabble · 08/01/2025 14:58

My sister in law is a psychologist. I recall her telling me that it is quite normal for many adults to sleep with some form of teddy. Even as adults it provides comfort and can help with childhood trauma.

Snorlaxo · 08/01/2025 14:58

How big is the bed? I’m trying to picture a 20 foot stuffed toy being cuddled by a 6 foot man.

He sounds like a great boyfriend but if it gives you the ick then yes, you can dump him for that.

Personally I can’t sew and I’d be fascinated to learn more about the building side of things (I assume that it’s not LEGO or something that I’d consider building )

JustMyView13 · 08/01/2025 14:55

If he was sleeping with another person, I’d be on your side. But, we’re talking about a stuffed animal…

In fact, please do go ahead and dump him. He should probably be with someone less judgy.

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