Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?

265 replies

DeliciousDonuts · 08/01/2025 14:27

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. Its like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. He hugs it, works on it to add details, hand washes it etc.

I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year old guy would need this? Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”.

It makes even less sense, because he just seems so… “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion.)

Am I just… overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he's been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

As I said before, I’m not very experienced in dating or men, and would appreciate any perspectives you can all give on the matter. Am I being reasonable in considering breaking up? Is it a bit of a mixed bag? Perhaps not?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SpringIscomingalso · 08/01/2025 15:22

Take a picture of it
Might be just a favourite colour, textile and some added spiritual nuance to him, Asians love dragons right

as a christian I personally is demonic, but for him might be just one of their whatevers - do your own research

OTannenbaumOTannenbaum · 08/01/2025 15:22

My husband is 40, we've been together 15 years and he sleeps with this soft stuffed American football 😁 apart from it driving me nuts when it makes its way across to my side, it's nothing sinister. DH is loving, caring, respectful and a brilliant husband and dad

Klozza · 08/01/2025 15:21

I’d find it quite endearing to be honest. But then again I’m a 29 year old mum of 2 who has a whole wall of shelves for my Squishmallows and Jellycats 😂

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/01/2025 15:21

upshot · 08/01/2025 15:19

Nothing helpful to add to the thread, but I kind of want a partner with a soft toy now. They sound all wholesome.

Yes, take note @coxesorangepippin WHOLESOME.

None of your double entendres here...

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/01/2025 15:21

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:12

I have scoured the internet to find a 20ft cuddly dragon and I am disappointed that nothing comes up. Can you please ask your boyfriend where he got it as I would like to buy one.

She said he made it

PrincessPeache · 08/01/2025 15:21

It’s very weird and I think it would make me like him even more.

Sunflower1650 · 08/01/2025 15:20

Sounds quirky but fine. However it sounds like it gives you the ick. You can dump him for any reason you like but as PPs have said, not all men have the good qualities you’ve listed and certainly not all of them would drive you to work every day at 5am (also it can’t possibly be 20ft long)

upshot · 08/01/2025 15:19

Nothing helpful to add to the thread, but I kind of want a partner with a soft toy now. They sound all wholesome.

coxesorangepippin · 08/01/2025 15:18

I'd love to see Robert Pattinson hand washing a 30ft dragon

SparklingJoyous · 08/01/2025 15:18

Everybody's different.. there's nothing "abnormal" about what he's doing. I'm sure he doesn't tell everyone he does this, it's just a comfort thing. And it seems he only does it when you're not there - which is quite sweet really.

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:17

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/01/2025 15:15

Home made.

Maybe he could start a business.

Yes...OP, can you please ask your boyfriend how much it would cost if I commissioned him to make one for me? Can you also send a picture?

Bignanna · 08/01/2025 15:16

OP has gone awol!

Unpaidviewer · 08/01/2025 15:16

I once dumped someone for wearing hideous trainers. Do what you want but you may look back and regret being so shallow.

Sceptical123 · 08/01/2025 15:15

If he builds one every year - what does he do with them? And how many has he built thus far?

MrsWinkly · 08/01/2025 15:15

When I first started seeing DH I used to sleep under dangling climbing ropes and stacks of bike bits. In the bed obviously, but he had racks of shelving around the room housing all his hobbies.
Think 'outdoor shop storeroom' and you'll get an idea of the atmosphere.
It was a bit depressing and utilitarian for a bedroom, but it was just a part of who he was and I really, really admired his quirky approach to decoration (ahem)...

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/01/2025 15:15

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:12

I have scoured the internet to find a 20ft cuddly dragon and I am disappointed that nothing comes up. Can you please ask your boyfriend where he got it as I would like to buy one.

Home made.

Maybe he could start a business.

jolota · 08/01/2025 15:14

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Not to be mean but you do say yourself that you've naive about relationships... most men do not do these things... he sounds really lovely and I think hobbies are great for people to have, can be very personal, you don't need to understand why necessarily he has this hobby over a different one.
If you have the ick then that might be it but if you want other peoples perspectives, there are so many worse 'hobbies' he could have and much weirder personality traits than having a stuffed toy to sleep with!

GeorgeBeckett · 08/01/2025 15:13

Londonrach1 · 08/01/2025 14:50

Might have to do similar...he keeps taking mine. Says it's very comfortable..... I'm curious about this dragon that op mentioned as sounds amazing

He makes a new one every year. Perhaps
you can enquire about last years! They can’t possibly store all the 20ft dragons…

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:13

ThatOpalSquid · 08/01/2025 15:08

Even ones that sleep with 20ft stuffed dragons…

True...

SunshineAndFizz · 08/01/2025 15:13

I mean, it does sound weird. But if that's his only flaw, my advice is roll with it, there's much worse out there.

kattaduck · 08/01/2025 15:12

A 20 ft long dragon is actually impressive. Does he have other DIY qualities?

Harrysmummy246 · 08/01/2025 15:12

42yo married mum here and I sleep with my childhood ted a lot of the time
Not huge though

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 08/01/2025 15:12

I have scoured the internet to find a 20ft cuddly dragon and I am disappointed that nothing comes up. Can you please ask your boyfriend where he got it as I would like to buy one.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/01/2025 15:12

I mean it's not something that would make me more attractive to him. But he sounds like a decent guy and so it would seem harsh to break up for one inconsequential habit that you don't like much. I think you'll struggle to find anyone to date who doesn't do or have something that you find irritating (or have no habits or objects that someone else finds irritating). The fact you're breaking up over something that doesn't really affect you makes it sound like you don't really like him that much (or enough to overlook this quirk)

BarbedButterfly · 08/01/2025 15:11

I don't see the issue and I also need to know where he got the dragon from

Swipe left for the next trending thread