Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?

265 replies

DeliciousDonuts · 08/01/2025 14:27

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. Its like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. He hugs it, works on it to add details, hand washes it etc.

I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year old guy would need this? Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”.

It makes even less sense, because he just seems so… “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion.)

Am I just… overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he's been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

As I said before, I’m not very experienced in dating or men, and would appreciate any perspectives you can all give on the matter. Am I being reasonable in considering breaking up? Is it a bit of a mixed bag? Perhaps not?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
xILikeJamx · 08/01/2025 14:42

Sorry but we really need to see a photo - 20 feet long?!?! 🕵

That would be out my bedroom door and half way down the stairs!

JHound · 08/01/2025 14:41

If that’s the worse thing you can say about him then you’re in luck.

Relationships are give and take and understanding our partners are not perfect.

They will have flaws as you do and honestly this does not seem like that big a flaw.

Ohshutupsimonyoutwat · 08/01/2025 14:41

20ft?!! How big is his room? Confused

OurDreamLife · 08/01/2025 14:40

My best friend has a pregnancy pillow. He’s a 30 year old man and sleeps with it every night 😂 He’s never had a pregnant girlfriend but has it to make sleeping more comfortable.

DefinitelyNotMaybe · 08/01/2025 14:39

I thought by 'stuffed animal' you meant a taxidermised badger, which would have been unreasonable.

ErrolTheDragon · 08/01/2025 14:38

Sounds fine to me.

If he preferred it when you were there then maybe that would be a problem but this sounds like a nice combination of a hobby and a comfortable way to sleep.

rwalker · 08/01/2025 14:36

Sounds like he use it like one of those full length pillows

AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?
maddiemookins16mum · 08/01/2025 14:36

I'm just imagining Pete's Dragon.

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 08/01/2025 14:35

It's not usual, but I wouldn't say it's a bad sign or worrying on its own at all. I would say in combination with the fact that you're his first relationship and he seems to be such a catch in every way, in combination with the stuffed animal, is something you can think about if you want to ponder on something. It could just be a sign that he's quite sheltered, or it could be that this is a harmless inclination that he's happy to put time and effort into and isn't fussed about what people will think.
I have a security blanket which I've had my whole life, but in my case it's combined with a lot of other things and everyone who is aware of that and has still been in a position to be informed of my sleeping arrangements has taken it in their stride!

LlynTegid · 08/01/2025 14:34

If that his is only quirk, consider yourself lucky.

Slobberchops1 · 08/01/2025 14:34

You don’t sound like a good partner . Seems to me he’s the one giving and you’re doing all the taking . Bin him off and let him find a dragon loving partner with similar interests

PercyFone · 08/01/2025 14:32

Are you sure it's a 20ft dragon?

That sounds rather extreme...

toomuchfaff · 08/01/2025 14:32

He's not sexualising the stuffed toxic, or taking any deviant pleasure from it.

There are adverts for pillows whereby you can sleep (for comfort) with a "hug" pillow that supports your hip and shoulder, there are pillows advertised to pregnant ladies that provide body support in the right places meaning more restful sleep - is it that the "toy" supports and provides comfort to sleep?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/01/2025 14:31

Can we see a picture? How does a 15-20ft long dragon even fit in the bed?

Londonrach1 · 08/01/2025 14:29

I'm 49 and sleep with a soft toy too....my husband never had a problem with it. It's up to you if you want to go out with this boyfriend.