Women’s workload has increased from wfh

Is he cooking for you too and are you happy that he does so, or would you prefer a light quick lunch?

Exactly this.

I'd much rather have my husbands 2 hours a day commute and 1 hour lunch break out of the house than my full-time WFH home with all the washing, cleaning, cooking, and school runs.

Plus I'm now stuck in a WFH job I hate because now he's back in the office there is no one else around to school runs.

Well the problem is, clearly, your husband isn't it?

It isn't anything to do with wfh.

It's to do with the fact that your husband now creates far more mess, and he only 'chips in' with less that half.

Rocket science this isn't.

It's only a problem for the women who have an unequal sexist marriage.

I wfh for 4 years I tended to eat left overs for lunch and clean up directly afterwards. I have a one cup coffee machine and tend to just use same cup. Again just stick in dishwasher when finished.

Why does your DP only do 30%? And does he clean up after his culinary masterpieces? It would really stress me out to go and make a coffee to find dirty dishes all over.

Some might be but I'm not. I use the commute time, lunch hours, wash a few dishes/load laundry whilst making a cuppa. The latter is no different to having a natter to a colleague in the kitchen area if I was in the office. I'm actually more accessible at home. If I am in the kitchen brewing up or making lunch, I have my work phone handy. If a colleague called me on Teams I'd answer (depending on who it was!) That wouldn't happen away from my desk in the office

I’ve WFH for years, whereas DH only started it during Covid. Now he doesn’t really work much but is home all day, so it amounts to the same thing.

It took him a while to realise I wasn’t going to make him a cooked lunch everyday…. Now he does make a mess at lunchtime as always wants something hot, but deals with it himself.

Definitely makes my life easier being able to slot housework between meetings! But doesn’t make it easier having DH home all the time with me as he’s always after an opinion or a hand with something (whether he’s actually working or not).

Now that's interesting!
And I thought WFH was something everyone would like to do (obviously where applicable).
What if you lived on your own?
😁

DP does chip in

This is the issue.

This.

Honestly, now that I wfh and DH doesn't, I'm expected to do all the house work because I'm "home all day". It's true, I am. But I'm also doing a job! When I loan at him he just says he can't do it because he's at work. Also true.

I invested in some good headphones and scouted out some good podcasts. I think of cleaning as my "workout" and I bill DH by making him buy me takeaway whenever I want it. It stops some of the resentment.

Not really.

I vacuum as a way of taking a break and moving around. If I was in the office I would be walking to the coffee shop or around the block.

Similarly putting on a wash. While the clothes are washing I am not say staring at the machine. I am working.

For me it has, I like my DH being here most days but he likes to work in the kitchen so I can't wash dishes, do any meal prep during the day or put a washing on or even run the hoover while he works like I used to on my own work breaks (I've always been wfh).

So by the time he finishes work we have breakfast and lunch dishes to wash, any housework and washings and meal prep to do and our shopping to take in. I used to have all that done and so DH would just eat our evening meal, wash a few dishes and sit down and relax in the evenings. Now I am on the go until 9 or 10pm most nights. I work less hours than DH so I usually do the bulk of the house stuff but when he used to go out all day I could get it done but now it all has to be done at night.

Mine is unchanged but it is just me and I do hybrid.

If anything WFH has given me back more time in the evenings and on weekends.

If I had a partner we would be splitting things evenly though so even if there was extra work hopefully I would not notice too much.

Businesses have it made with people paying their own heating and electricity costs.

I cook more and have the dishwasher on more and have more rubbish. But I have to do laundry very rarely now. Tidying and vacuuming have stayed the same.

No increase in housework here. I've been wfh since 2010.

If he's cooking 3 times a day then he needs to clear up after himself! It's not exactly taxing to put a smoothie jar or Tupperware into the dishwasher either.

I'd have thought for most people it's lunchtime, or before/after work in the time they'd have been commuting (hopefully). It is for us, and just that makes a huge difference.

Can't say I've noticed a massive increase in housework - more mugs in the dishwasher, but that's about it.

I agree with you OP. The volume of dishes is much greater and I'm spending much more time on hoovering and cleaning bathrooms.

It's called the flexibility paradox

Much better work life balance for me when WfH.

DH and I pretty much do all housework in the hours we used to commute in or in our lunch hour, so outside of our old "working day" we have pretty much no chores to do.

I have noticed a big increase in our energy usage though - but still cheaper than the amount it cost 2 of us to commute into London.

I think the issue comes when the partner is out all day and mum works from home. The expectation that she can do housework and school runs etc as well as a full time job often with children at home has increased.

Dp is obviously not chipping in enough then if your workload has increased dramatically due to all his cooked breakfasts. If he can cook it he can clean up after himself!