Good morning —
I know this is a topic of legend, but I’m wondering how — oh, how — it gets so fraught when you try to help out at a child’s school. Feeling quite dejected by it all. Staff can be quite dismissive — downright rude — and seem to find dumping things onto a parent is acceptable. Simple questions you might ask a colleague like, “Can I leave it with you?” Or “how does that sound?” Or “Would that be okay?” are nowhere in the mix. Just a dump and run. By a professional — someone who teaches and does a bit of admin — who seems to think her time is worth more than mine, or really anyone else’s. Nothing very companionable about it, she really comes across as just entitled and bored of us all, like she’s got much more important things to do. Wrinkle is, she’s often just not got a clue. I spent 5 months chasing up a permit and a license and an auditor for our school lottery — going so far as to schedule a Zoom call with a lady who ran it for us as a parent volunteer 10 years ago — only to find that this woman, the professional in question, had received an email with all of the requisite info, methodically spelled out, two months before I even joined the PTA. As I was racking the brains of all involved, I got an abusive personal email from the woman (another mum) who was supposed to have been doing it the whole time. I forwarded this to our professional school contact. No response. I got the impression they were mates. Our contact afterward got very curt with me. Very matey with this other mum. But… I was doing all the work for all of us. Anyway. Turns out the mum who had the gig before I did had sent both of them a long, lovely, detailed email, with instructions, which both of them had just totally blanked. They both received it. I spent five months chasing up details and ticking boxes that really we could have sorted in a couple of days, had either of them merely read the email that was sent to them. It’s… that sort of thing. I took it all up with our head teacher who was equally dismissive and high-handed. Observed, of his own staff member, “this is the first time I’ve ever heard a complaint about M… and my view is that there is no case to answer here.” This was in response to a multi-page report I had drafted with great care of what labours I had performed (230 unpaid hours over the course of one academic year) and her piffling responses, buck passing, making us chase her for information, bad-mouthing other parents who volunteered (not subtly, really mean digs, disparaging comments). I think this is why there are currently no PTA members at this school. None. I did point this out to both of them. That if you want help, from parents, you have to be respectful and not take them for granted, respect their time and their emotional investment. You’re not paying us. Neither ever replied. I’m just putting this out there. We hear a lot about schools struggling with low funding and entitled parents’ antics and kids’ bad behaviour. My son has never been in trouble, he behaves well, he does his work, he participates in all manner of sports. And I have done everything I could. Until I just quit in disgust and anger. I’m wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? Very sorry for a massive post. But this was the situation — it felt like screaming in the wind. Why is this the way that some schools treat parents?