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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Boardgamedust · 08/01/2025 14:17

Ah-I've seen the image in full now and can tell it is an elbow! However I couldn't tell from the cropped version!

I think they've done it on purpose!

Boardgamedust · 08/01/2025 14:15

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:33

Oh my god, I'm in absolute hysterics! I've just zoomed right in and you are absolutely right, it's her elbow! 😂What an absolute tit, excuse the pun!

To make it worse, I'm a lesbian- you think I'd be able to tell the difference between an elbow and a breast!

I'm so sorry for wasting everyone's time- I now need to send a grovelling apology to the company regarding me email! Any suggestions for how to phrase it?!

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life.

I am also a lesbian and I CANNOT see how that isn't a boob!?!

Oreyt · 08/01/2025 14:14

To advertise underwear though shouldn't the models be wearing some?

thinktwice36 · 08/01/2025 14:09

I couldn’t buy from stripe and stare unless I remortgaged ….

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 08/01/2025 14:04

I agree with you, OP. Using virtually naked women for advertising is almost always unnecessary. Fair enough to show a woman in her pants if pants are on sale, but she can (and often is, to be fair) wear a vest or T shirt as well, or only be pictured from the waist down. The extra flesh on display is for marketing/titillation purposes only. Even worse if the model looks like a very young girl.

NameChangedOfc · 08/01/2025 14:02

CustardySergeant · 08/01/2025 13:57

Are you offended by the sight of naked elbows then?

Ooh, and NOW I've seen the updates 🤣 I never learn!

BIossomtoes · 08/01/2025 14:01

like it’s the norm for women to go cavorting in their knickers whilst simultaneously shaving their nethers

That’d be some trick - I imagine shaving with knickers on would be quite difficult.

TortoiseWhoLovesStrawberries · 08/01/2025 13:59

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:38

In my defence, they'd cropped her hand out of the picture along with her face!

It depends on what device you are viewing the image on as to whether or not it gets cropped. An easy mistake though - her elbow does look like a breast!

Here is the image in full.Here is the image in full.

https://stripeandstare.com/cdn/shop/files/B_Corp_Image_for_Blog_2_7d20865b-7717-4d46-b15e-5757b62c1c24.jpg?v=1678378672&width=1000

Lammveg · 08/01/2025 13:59

You've made a right elbow of yourself.

Screamingabdabz · 08/01/2025 13:59

YANBU and I think more people should feel free to come out as unapologetically prudish.

We should all be advocating for dignity and less gratuitous female nudity in advertising and media generally. It’s brandished like it’s the norm for women to go cavorting in their knickers whilst simultaneously shaving their nethers or getting off on orgasmic moisturising etc. It’s bollocks. Most of the real women I know at this time of year are in several layers of whatever is warm and comfy day and night.

Star and stripe knickers are shit anyway. Nice looking and marketed cleverly but overpriced cheap fabric.

moomindragon · 08/01/2025 13:58

I'm not judging her, I'm judging the company for sharing a photo of her wearing only pants without including her face.

It's an underwear company. Do you expect every single picture to include the model's face?

pumpkinpillow · 08/01/2025 13:58

Bonsaitree7 · 08/01/2025 13:31

She's clearly anywhere from mid twenties to early thirties!

Based on?

Starsandall · 08/01/2025 13:57

I think I understand your point. They are sexualising underwear which doesn’t need to happen. She could have had a bra on. Well done for bringing it to their attention.

CustardySergeant · 08/01/2025 13:57

NameChangedOfc · 08/01/2025 13:56

YANBU, and well done for sending that response.
As a side note, nothing wrong with being a prude: I consider myself to be one, and carry my prudeness around very comfortably.

Are you offended by the sight of naked elbows then?

NameChangedOfc · 08/01/2025 13:56

YANBU, and well done for sending that response.
As a side note, nothing wrong with being a prude: I consider myself to be one, and carry my prudeness around very comfortably.

yousawthewholeofthemoon · 08/01/2025 13:55

Delighted by this thread, the diagram, and the revelation it's an elbow. Wonderful.

I'm now browsing their lovely pjs, damn you.

BrieHugger · 08/01/2025 13:55

Well OP, you’ve made a right tit of yourself but have made a lot of people laugh, I’d say that’s win for today!

PLEASE let us know if the company replies 😂

comedycentral · 08/01/2025 13:54

Please tell us what they said when you apologised. It sounds like your intentions were good. I don't know if you realise the screenshot has your first name in, if you want to hide under a rock about this forever 😁

adriftinadenofvipers · 08/01/2025 13:54

I'm in my 60s and think you have too much time on your hands - even if it hadn't been an elbow!!!

Oreyt · 08/01/2025 13:48

coralsky · 08/01/2025 10:50

Honestly imagine working for this company and receiving op's email 🙄😂

I think she is the one working for the company.

FancyAnxiety · 08/01/2025 13:45

This thread has made my (sick) day, as I’m lying in my tatty dressing gown 🤣 Thank you OP for your service! 🫡

HornyHornersPinger · 08/01/2025 13:44

This is so funny 🤣🤣🤣

I read a few pages of comments and saw the offending pic - knew immediately it was an elbow! Why would her nip be up there?!

Thank you for brightening up an otherwise dull Wednesday @AmIJustAPrude 🤣🤣🤣

Cannot believe you emailed to complain too 🤣

Moveoverdarlin · 08/01/2025 13:42

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

So to clarify…

She isn’t very thin (just a slim model)
She isn’t a teenager (looks in her 30s)
One of her breasts ISN’T clearly visible.

But apart from all that, you were bang on the money OP.

I’m howling at this.

InterIgnis · 08/01/2025 13:40

I wouldn’t have looked at that and associated it with teenagers.

Stripe and Stare are a British company, but they market and sell internationally, including in countries where that body type is the average one. Unsurprisingly, they’re going to want to appeal to the widest market of potential customers, and will feature slim, ‘skinny’ women as models as well.

latetothefisting · 08/01/2025 13:38

IncessantNameChanger · 08/01/2025 13:19

YAnbu. She looks half the height of the other model so she might be child height which makes me uncomfortable as it's normalising something that doesn't fit right. You can be 7 stone, 18 and 5,4 but it's not likely she is over 5 foot. It's not a snag image of a size 6 next to a size 32.

But more over, do you get them sending dick pics on the boxers? Bit of ball sack peeping out? Like fuck would they.

How can you appreciate the pants without seeing her nappies? Even though that image is not selling ant kind of top? I don't need to see nappies to buy a bra but men do. Sex sells.

wtf is this rambling nonsense
a) she's not "half the height" of the other model. She's a few inches shorter at most, not 2foot8.
b) Even if she was short (I think she's definitely over 5 foot), short women are still adults!
c) why can't (slightly) larger women be photographed next to smaller ones? Are all your friends and family exactly the same size as you? Presumably as it's a company selling lingerie, the aim is to show that their products fit women of different sizes, therefore having two models exactly the same shape would defeat the point...
d) wtf are "Nappies?"
e) if you mean her breasts, you can't actually see them, if you'd read the whole thread, or even just OP's updates you would see that what OP thought was a boob was an ELBOW

I'd be changing my username frequently too if this was the kind of rubbish I spouted....