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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
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Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:10

littlegreydevil · 08/01/2025 11:29

Yes they are! Totally worth the investment. I was getting frustrated with the ever shrinking gusset on the high street, I don’t want to be “flossed” down there. These have a good sized gusset and the fabric is and remains soft. They wash really well too.

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I'm glad to hear this, as mine haven't arrived yet, but I don't think I can ever order from them again now! 🙃

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:08

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 11:27

She really doesn’t. Her face looks mature and lots of women of all ages have that body type - Sienna Miller, Kate Middleton, Jennifer Aniston - all slender with a modest bust and small bum.

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I agree her face looks mature, but that was cropped out of the image I complained about. I'm definitely not worried she's a teenager any more!

See, the three women you've mentioned have toned, muscular arms and legs- I think even without the context of their faces, you couldn't mistake them for teenagers. It's not just that the woman in the photo is slim, it's that she doesn't look like she has much muscle. That's what made me feel she could be young.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:01

BIossomtoes · 08/01/2025 11:24

Is that it? Seriously? I just checked out the website and it’s full of images of women every shape and age you can imagine. I expect you’ve given the email recipient and their colleagues a good laugh @AmIJustAPrude. Yes you are a prude.

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Those images didn't bother me at all, because you can see their faces, and it's clear they're adults. The picture I complained about is also fine WHEN THE FACES HAVEN'T BEEN CROPPED OUT (especially given there isn't a breast in sight!).

In the photo in the email, the woman's face was cropped out (which is a bit creepy anyway, really), so it was an image of a body with no face.

I'm happy to accept I'm a prude, though!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 16:55

Beeloux · 08/01/2025 11:21

YABVU you do realise some woman are flat chested? I have Pcos and naturally completely flat chested (AA) and slim.

Given I thought her elbow was her breast, you can't accuse me of thinking she was flat-chested!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 16:53

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:20

I edited as on the company website I couldn’t see her face and yes she looks young and under developed with no muscle. Then when I saw the picture here I could see her face and decided she looked like a mid teen. She resembles a teenage Brook Shields.

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Yes, I think the lack of muscle also played into my thinking she looked young.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 16:50

SensibleSigma · 08/01/2025 11:11

Bless you, OP! Having a mind tuned into safeguarding is a curse at times. I can’t relax in a public place where DC aren’t being properly supervised as I’m on the edge of my seat to catch toddlers heading for the river etc.

And the need for obsessive protectiveness with your phone. I get it.

Having a mind tuned into safeguarding is a curse at times.

Thank you, this is an excellent point: I think maybe my prudishness is more understandable to those for whom child protection is a huge part of their job.

My inability to tell the difference between an elbow and a breast is... less understandable.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 16:45

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 08/01/2025 11:04

This is of absolutely no assistance to me in evaluating the gratuitous or otherwise nature of the image you complained about, but I'm willing to bet it'll make my top 10 Things Seen On Mumsnet for 2025. 10/10, OP!

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Don't speak too soon, we're only eight days in!

OP posts:
GreensAreGoodForYou · 08/01/2025 16:34

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 12:53

I wish it was a clever marketing ploy! Unfortunately, I'm just stupid.

Yes, I'll share the photo now!

  • [Pic has now been removed at OP's request as it was identifying]
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This DOES look like a mother and daughter to me, but maybe it's the angle.

This whole thread is hilarious, so thank you for that! It'll make me feel better next time I accidentally get riled up about something that I got completely wrong!

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 16:05

Screamingabdabz · 08/01/2025 13:59

YANBU and I think more people should feel free to come out as unapologetically prudish.

We should all be advocating for dignity and less gratuitous female nudity in advertising and media generally. It’s brandished like it’s the norm for women to go cavorting in their knickers whilst simultaneously shaving their nethers or getting off on orgasmic moisturising etc. It’s bollocks. Most of the real women I know at this time of year are in several layers of whatever is warm and comfy day and night.

Star and stripe knickers are shit anyway. Nice looking and marketed cleverly but overpriced cheap fabric.

you are absolutely untitled to be prudish.

We are also entitled to find that amusing.

What I do object is the thin-shaming from some posters

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 16:00

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 15:53

but there was no-one "overly skinny" anywhere?

Do you object to 39 year old Keira Knightly too? (only naming her because she famously thought against being told she needed fake boobs or photoshopped boobs to be "a woman")

Slim and skinny women are just as much "real woman" as fat ones!

It's funny how on threads about Kate Middleton, she's always described as a perfect figure woman, but any other women? Not a woman!

My thoughts, too. Where is the overly skinny woman?

I received plenty of comments from overweight women in my 20s telling me to gain weight when I was perfectly healthy and in shape. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed, especially receiving these comments from 'curvy' women with their rolls and muffins spilling out.

Todaywasbetter · 08/01/2025 15:56

It’s an intentionally confusing photo.

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 15:53

but there was no-one "overly skinny" anywhere?

Do you object to 39 year old Keira Knightly too? (only naming her because she famously thought against being told she needed fake boobs or photoshopped boobs to be "a woman")

Slim and skinny women are just as much "real woman" as fat ones!

It's funny how on threads about Kate Middleton, she's always described as a perfect figure woman, but any other women? Not a woman!

Thursdaygirl · 08/01/2025 15:44

Fabulous thread!!!

newyearusername · 08/01/2025 15:32

This thread has made me chuckle. Just pondering now how the person that found the actual photo actually got it. Do you think they tried a google lens search of the OP's drawing and it came up with some suggestions of what an oddly drawn nipple would look like? 😂

BlueMoanday · 08/01/2025 15:21

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 13:27

I said that if I were accused of inappropriate behaviour with a pupil, the police would look at my phone, hence why I didn't want to screenshot the image when I thought the elbow was a breast. (I can't believe I just had to type that last bit...)

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@AmIJustAPrude This is all the more funny for me as I was showing my friends last night how you can play "Arse or Elbow" by taking a picture of your folded arm and (suitably cropped) the photo could be either. 😄Ridiculously childish I know but that was the point of our joke.

Findmeelf · 08/01/2025 15:17

£18 for one pair of knickers!

pimplebum · 08/01/2025 15:14

Just had a look at their website and all the images I saw look the standard appropriate diverse with size and colour - so all good

but you did the right thing , the more of us that challenge overly skinny / young models especially when their main customers are older, fuller figured women is a good thing
I love the fact that most companies now use normal sized women for advertising

OriginalUsername2 · 08/01/2025 15:11

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 13:30

It’s true and Im happy you’re having a laugh. In fact I mentioned the CrossFit on a weight loss thread early this morning with regards to BMI not taking a persons muscle mass into consideration when doing the calculation.

In the meantime Ive been away for a 5km walk in the glorious sunshine with just the right amount of a cold breeze and I’ve had quite the laugh on my travels as well at this thread - the elboob (amongst other things).

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Elboob 😀I love it.

Boltonb · 08/01/2025 14:58

Very much a prude, to be so offended by an elbow 😂

I’m glad it’s been pointed out that it’s an elbow, not a breast. I don’t think I’d email them again though

Catpuss66 · 08/01/2025 14:35

Datesandprunes · 08/01/2025 10:23

Actually, if this is the picture then that's not her boob! It's her elbow. It makes you look twice though.

Sorry if it's not that picture.

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I did look twice it is her elbow not her boob. Thought it was her boob 1st time around. Thinking about it probably got tiny boobs as she is so slim. Even if it was her boob not really a big deal. The majority of models are lovely in wide range of demographics nice to see real women modelling.

anythingbutlillies · 08/01/2025 14:27

JennieTheZebra · 08/01/2025 10:08

Tbh, Stripe and Stare is a company generally aimed at younger women. The model will have been in her twenties, most likely, so no need to be concerned about sharing. Attitudes towards bodies have changed a fair bit in recent years so it’s unlikely that they thought anyone would be offended, but it is ok to feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re a little bit older. Just don’t order from them again.

I'm not sure that's right re their demographic tbh.

Their 'usp' is based on how comfortable their underwear is together with a sustainability angle so I would say not aimed at younger market. Also their prices, and interestingly the influencers they work with, are indicative of a MC demographic.
Which makes the image the OP described even more surprising.

Btw OP - go to the top of the class for your image 😂

Motnight · 08/01/2025 14:26

Rickrolypoly · 08/01/2025 09:54

wow, think this wins the best diagram on MN competition 😂

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Best diagram ever!!

MissEloiseBridgerton · 08/01/2025 14:21

The image is on their website and pretty sure it's her elbow 😂😂😂

Oreyt · 08/01/2025 14:17

@Boardgamedust

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?