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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
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9
TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 18:41

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:07

But that's clearly not true, is it? Because I'm a woman and I'm concerned about it.

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pretty sure even teachers are allowed to shop for underwear.

WoolySnail · 08/01/2025 18:37

OP this thread is brilliant and has genuinely cheered me up 😁😁😁😁x

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 18:32

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:20

Perhaps you need to be a teacher, or otherwise work in a profession where child safeguarding is paramount, to understand my reluctance.

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Please don’t undermine me. Considering you can’t tell the difference from a boob to an elbow, you should perhaps refresh your CPD. Indeed, as a teacher, you run into many people of various shapes and ages. Perhaps you need to educate yourself before making stupid comments about slimmer women.

It’s a picture captured from an email confirmation for expensive underwear. That’s that. You wouldn’t be the first teacher to order underwear from a website like this.

Growlybear83 · 08/01/2025 18:31

Disturbia81 · 08/01/2025 17:52

Love it OP! I wonder how many sales they've got from this 😆

They've had one from me 😆😆

dapsnotplimsolls · 08/01/2025 18:29

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:21

I'm not!

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I suspect there'll be a sarcastic version that they'll never send and you'll get the professional one!

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:29

comedycentral · 08/01/2025 13:54

Please tell us what they said when you apologised. It sounds like your intentions were good. I don't know if you realise the screenshot has your first name in, if you want to hide under a rock about this forever 😁

I did realise it after I sent it and couldn't be bothered to do anything about it, but in the advice of another poster, I have now asked MNHQ to remove it.

I will be telling everyone I know about this, so no worries there- it's too hilarious not to share!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:24

Oreyt · 08/01/2025 13:48

I think she is the one working for the company.

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I wish! I'd be getting a fuck-off bonus after this!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:21

randomchap · 08/01/2025 13:35

I'm looking forward to the reply from the company.

I'm not!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:20

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 13:29

So what? They were see the picture is from an email confirmation. There's no explicit images on your phone? It's a very ODD statement to make.

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Perhaps you need to be a teacher, or otherwise work in a profession where child safeguarding is paramount, to understand my reluctance.

OP posts:
Winterskyfall · 08/01/2025 18:20

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:55

I agree she's probably not a teenager, but she looks like one, which was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not accusing them of using underage models, but of making at least one of their customers uncomfortable.

The company is Stripe and Stare.

I don't want to screenshot a picture of what looks like a semi-naked teenager because I'm a primary school teacher!

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Plenty of models are teenagers.

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:07

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 13:18

I asked, not assumed, because only a MAN would have concerns about saving marketing material for high-street women's underwear on his phone.

A woman, at worst, would be accused of doing too much shopping

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But that's clearly not true, is it? Because I'm a woman and I'm concerned about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:05

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 13:15

Why would a teenage student accuse the OP of abuse?

Secondly, it's a picture from an email order confirmation.

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Hopefully they wouldn't, but it's every teacher's worst nightmare to be the target of a malicious accusations from a pupil.

I still didn't want a screenshot of it on my phone when I thought it was a breast!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:02

BluePapillon · 08/01/2025 13:11

I’ve been having an upsetting morning and your post, diagram and responses have made me laugh through my tears. Thank you! 😂😂😊😊

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I'm so sorry you're having a tough morning. I'm glad my utter stupidity has brought a smile to your face!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 18:00

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 08/01/2025 13:06

Mate. Get a grip. That photo is nothing worth getting your knickers in a twist (see what I did there!) about at all.

And I'm a teacher... have I missed a memo about the General Teaching Council being able to see our camera rolls now?

If you are ever accused of inappropriate behaviour by a pupil, the police will check your phone and laptop.

Admittedly they won't care if they find a picture of someone's elbow!

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 08/01/2025 17:56

I've just seen this thread and only read the OP's posts. Cheered me right up 😁

Disturbia81 · 08/01/2025 17:52

Love it OP! I wonder how many sales they've got from this 😆

kattaduck · 08/01/2025 17:41

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:08

I agree her face looks mature, but that was cropped out of the image I complained about. I'm definitely not worried she's a teenager any more!

See, the three women you've mentioned have toned, muscular arms and legs- I think even without the context of their faces, you couldn't mistake them for teenagers. It's not just that the woman in the photo is slim, it's that she doesn't look like she has much muscle. That's what made me feel she could be young.

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Not having muscle tone doesn't mean anything. A lot of women in their early twenties don't work out because they don't have to to stay slim.
And certainly if you work in safeguarding you have more common sense that you can't tell a teenager apart from a woman in their early twenties.

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:39

latetothefisting · 08/01/2025 13:02

tbf OP at least you're coming off as a good sport!

maybe you could send them a link to this thread and say, Yes I may have sent you a slightly mad initial email but look how many people who have previously never heard of your brand have been looking at it. Free marketing and all for the sake of one el-boob. Bear in mind that only, what, 1 in 10/1 in 100 people who see the thread actually comment so hundreds/thousands of MNers will have now heard of that brand.

Perhaps they'll send you some free stuff! Or, based on your 'reproduction' if you ever get sick of teaching you could offer your services as a graphic designer?

OP I know you've changed your username but because this is exactly the sort of thread that gets picked up by the DM maybe ask MN to remove your post with the picture and email confirmation as it shows your real first name? Meanwhile I am off to change mine to @ itsanelbownotanipple....

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😂😂😂

I did think that when I noticed, but to be honest, there are a LOT of women with the same name in their mid-thirties!

You're right though, it's probably sensible- @MNHQ, please can you delete the post where I shared a photo of a perfectly innocent elbow and my first name?!

OP posts:
UnderTheStairs51 · 08/01/2025 17:37

I don't want a picture on a model in my email confirmation. I might open that at work.

So I don't think you are being unreasonable to point out you don't need a picture of pants you've already purchased on someone like this.

Imagine opening it in the office when your screen faces into the room.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/01/2025 17:35

I've made a right elbow of myself, haven't I?!

Oh OP you just keep making this thread funnier 😂😂 thank you.

InterIgnis · 08/01/2025 17:32

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:08

I agree her face looks mature, but that was cropped out of the image I complained about. I'm definitely not worried she's a teenager any more!

See, the three women you've mentioned have toned, muscular arms and legs- I think even without the context of their faces, you couldn't mistake them for teenagers. It's not just that the woman in the photo is slim, it's that she doesn't look like she has much muscle. That's what made me feel she could be young.

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Slim with little defined muscle/ectomorphic is a very normal body type, especially for women their early to mid twenties. It may not be the average in the UK, but they’re not just marketing their products to those in the UK.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/01/2025 17:31

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 13:15

congratulations for spectacularly missing the point the poster is literally making.

The double-standards are gold.

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Ah my dear, don't assume I've missed any point.

Did you miss the irony?

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:30

larkstar · 08/01/2025 12:27

@AmIJustAPrude don't feel bad - thank-you for the laugh!

I don't think you were wrong at all to raise your concern - I'm not surprised that in your role you are perhaps a little more (rightly imho) attuned to such issues.

I am perhaps a little more disappointed that, given you probably spend several hours a day writing on an interactive whiteboard - that that was the best drawing you could do - but... send a copy to Grayson Perry's Art Club - it has a Picasso-esque quality to it.

My handwriting is SHOCKING on the IWB- I type instead! When I need to demonstrate handwriting, I have a flip chart with paper I use instead!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 17:26

ShinyPrettyThings87 · 08/01/2025 11:58

Oh, OP! Credit for having good intentions but this is fricken hilarious. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure many people get their elbows and boobs mixed up. It won't help, as it doesn't happen... And you've likely seen more than your fair share of boobs... Which is just the cherry on the top of this thread.

We should definitely make this a thing. Anyone on a dating site, strike the same pose and see if the men click on faster than the women that it's an elbow.

I hope you have a fabulous day after this cock-up (sorry, it may or may not be a cock) but don't be embarrassed, it's amazingly hilarious.

I don't mean to brag, but I really have seen quite a lot of boobs!

Or maybe I haven't- maybe women were just showing me their elbows instead!

I've made a right elbow of myself, haven't I?!

OP posts:
dynamiccactus · 08/01/2025 17:15

Just coming back as I see the image was in your confirmation email. I think I got another image in mine as there is no mistaking elbows for breasts or vice versa in my email, and the models are all older.

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