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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
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Jumpingthruhoops · 09/01/2025 00:02

Apologies if someone has already done this, haven't RTFT.
But I've just had a look at S&S website at their 'What is B Corp?' (sustainability) page.
It features an image of a slim (not thin) young woman laying on her front beside a curvier woman, also on her front. Both are wearing only black pants. Is this the image you mean?

From what I can see, the bit you're claiming is 'nipple', I'm pretty sure is actually the young woman's elbow! 😂 And age-wise I'd say she looks about 25, so not a 'teenage girl' at all.

Don't see the harm in any of this at all so, on the basis of all the above, I'll have to say, yes, you are being a prude!

CustardySergeant · 08/01/2025 23:47

IncessantNameChanger · Today 13:19
"How can you appreciate the pants without seeing her nappies? Even though that image is not selling ant kind of top? I don't need to see nappies to buy a bra but men do. Sex sells."

Why on earth are you going on about nappies?

chickenlettuceunderbacon · 08/01/2025 23:18

OMG, have actually read/seen it all now 😬😂

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 08/01/2025 22:58

User776532 · 08/01/2025 10:46

I was going to vote YABU due to "thin" being conflated with underage. However I had a look at their website and I find it very disturbing that they're selling knickers with incredibly childish prints and colours for grown women. Pink with stars, pastel leopard print, hot pink with rainbow spots. WTF. That same style of underwear is literally only sold in toddler, girls and teenage sections in mainstream stores.

It definitely smacks of encouraging grown women to cosplay as underage girls for men of extremely dubious taste. Without going into too much detail, there are multiple porn categories where actresses wear children's knickers with cute patterns and designs to make them appear like teens (or worse). That brand seems to be playing heavily into the market under the guise of being comfortable or sustainable. No other lingerie company offers adult size knickers with those sort of kiddy designs on them.

I buy my knickers from Knotty and I’ve got pairs with dinosaur prints, cats with toadstool hats, fruits and bright colours. I’m nearly 50. I’m not remotely interested in pretending to be a little girl. This is a weird take.

Crystall88 · 08/01/2025 22:41

It's clearly an elbow and not a nipple.

CrowleyKitten · 08/01/2025 22:25

IncessantNameChanger · 08/01/2025 13:19

YAnbu. She looks half the height of the other model so she might be child height which makes me uncomfortable as it's normalising something that doesn't fit right. You can be 7 stone, 18 and 5,4 but it's not likely she is over 5 foot. It's not a snag image of a size 6 next to a size 32.

But more over, do you get them sending dick pics on the boxers? Bit of ball sack peeping out? Like fuck would they.

How can you appreciate the pants without seeing her nappies? Even though that image is not selling ant kind of top? I don't need to see nappies to buy a bra but men do. Sex sells.

my eldest sister is five food nothing.
she's still very definitely an adult.

CrowleyKitten · 08/01/2025 22:21

user3827 · 08/01/2025 13:07

ooh now with the picture cut out the way it is, it does look like a child. lying next to an older woman.

Edited

it really doesn't.

CrowleyKitten · 08/01/2025 22:20

WinterBones · 08/01/2025 13:04

is this a good time to point out i'm 43, fat, and wearing rainbow patterned bra and pants from Molke?

you absolute perve!! how could you!

DuckDuckDuckGooseDuck · 08/01/2025 22:17

Thanks for the giggles this evening @AmIJustAPrude . Thought I'd point out that in asking mumsnet to delete your screenshot with first name, you typed your name again 😂 so you might want to get that post deleted too.

dreamer24 · 08/01/2025 22:11

Being thin doesn't mean you look like a teenager. Women are so hard on other women's bodies.

Agreed

dreamer24 · 08/01/2025 22:10

Secondly, I also want to reassure you a bit more. The model is honestly not a teenager, just a very petite adult.

Ah good, the company have confirmed it then!Petite adults do in fact exist 😂

pointswinprizes · 08/01/2025 22:09

Oh god this thread 😂😂
Ive been rolling on the floor laughing.

dreamer24 · 08/01/2025 22:08

ChubbyBubbyBoo · 08/01/2025 21:23

Can’t believe you assumed someone was a teenager because she was skinny.

Me neither, it's an odd assumption. My body size is similar to the woman on the left of the photo OP is referring to, and I'm almost 40!

Whatoflife · 08/01/2025 22:05

You’re brilliant OP, this thread is comedy gold. Thanks for the laugh and your good humour. As soon as I saw the picture I wondered wtf you were on about, it was obviously an elbow, if it was a tit it would have been growing out of her armpit 😂

Themaths · 08/01/2025 21:57

I've just woken the kids up from laughing so much. This is the funniest thing I have read on here.

StillAtTheRestaurant · 08/01/2025 21:44

I decided not to fess up to having created a whole MN thread about The Breast That Never Was, and acted as if I hadn't realised until I received her email.

Bless you, but they'll have known about this thread hours ago when the Google alert for the company name pinged into the inbox of someone in marketing. Grin

ItsCalledAConversation · 08/01/2025 21:42

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:55

I agree she's probably not a teenager, but she looks like one, which was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not accusing them of using underage models, but of making at least one of their customers uncomfortable.

The company is Stripe and Stare.

I don't want to screenshot a picture of what looks like a semi-naked teenager because I'm a primary school teacher!

Their ads make me feel uncomfortable too, OP - tbh their entire product range does. Cutesy coloured children’s knickers (the kind you buy in multipacks from M&S for little girls) in adult sizes. Really reckon weird if you ask me.

CrowleyKitten · 08/01/2025 21:30

pumpkinpillow · 08/01/2025 11:22

I think it's the poses some of them strike - you don't need to pout or look coquettish to model stockings.

but they do in other adverts for the same kind of garments.
why is it only wrong if they're overweight?
overweight people can be sexy too, you know. being fat doesn't mean you are asexual (which, of course, it's fine to be)
us fat girls get to feel sexy too.

BrieHugger · 08/01/2025 21:23

Vettrianofan · 08/01/2025 21:00

Perfect OP - you can afford ONE glorious pair of knick knacks from the company. Take the voucher!

I agree, buy one snazzy pair to remind you of this day!

ChubbyBubbyBoo · 08/01/2025 21:23

Can’t believe you assumed someone was a teenager because she was skinny.

CrowleyKitten · 08/01/2025 21:18

User776532 · 08/01/2025 10:59

Yes I totally agree you get the occasional quirky adult who loves bright colours and textures. Totally fine with that and I'm sure a small subset of their customers are just women who like fun patterns. I'm one myself so I don't judge anyone who are buying it for themselves. However even I find their designs a bit too extreme and also extremely overpriced for what they are. Those knickers look like the £2 pile from Primark and are being sold for £25 per piece?!

Despite all adults who like quirky styles, one can assume the majority of middle-aged women don't choose rainbow coloured pastel polka dot underwear by default. They seem to be mixing the more dubious pre-teen designs with more normal ones so feels more harmless.

that's a hell of a stretch.
I'm sure the majority of women buying the colourful fun designs are doing it because they like colourful, fun designs and are not a minority.
and I'm sure the majority buying them aren't being pervy and trying to look like children.

there are actually a lot of underwear companies doing fun and colourful designs now.

I just buy cheap, plain black granny knickers, but that's mostly because they're cheap and cheerful. the fun ones tend to cost a lot more, and I'd worry about bleeding on them or something and staining them.

I remember in my late teens/early 20s, my friend commenting "you're so lucky you're allowed coloured underwear" because I had a really pretty, purple bra on.
and I laughed because it turned out that there WAS no rule that she was only allowed white underwear, but she'd weirdly assumed her mum would disapprove (and her Mum is really not the sort to mind WHAT colour underwear she bought)

randomchap · 08/01/2025 21:09

£20, that's not bad at all. They probably gave you that as thanks for giving them all a good laugh.

CrowleyKitten · 08/01/2025 21:02

VexedofVirginiaWater · 08/01/2025 10:49

At a quick glance I thought it was a boob too - I wonder if they realised.

if it was a boob though, that definitely wouldn't be a teen boob. for that to be a boob it would be one that has lost some of the fullness (by which I don't mean size) of youth, the way it's hanging.

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 21:02

Vettrianofan · 08/01/2025 20:58

Teachers must be well minted these days eh🤑🤪😂

Oh yes, I do keep meaning to say this- I bought three bras and two pairs of knickers, but they were all on sale! So in total it came to under £40! I promise I would never spend £18 on a pair of pants 😂

OP posts:
Vettrianofan · 08/01/2025 21:00

Perfect OP - you can afford ONE glorious pair of knick knacks from the company. Take the voucher!

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