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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
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9
Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 10:12

Ah okay so it was purely based on her being thin, as the face was not visible? Then YABU because not everyone looks the same (and not all teens are thin either). None of the other models on their site look remotely teenaged facially. This company obviously makes an effort to use a diverse range of bodies to advertise their clothes which is good.

CrispyCrumpets · 08/01/2025 10:12

OP has taken the MN diagram into a new age.

Twaddlepip · 08/01/2025 10:11

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:52

This is the weirdest thing I've ever done, but here you go!

She's on her front but propped up, so it's an angled side view, but you can see nipple.

Show quote history

What on earth is this. 😂

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:10

@OriginalUsername2 I agree, I really like the range of body types they use, and the other woman in the photo I referred to had rolls, which was refreshing.

I think if I'd been able to see her face, it would have been okay, as hopefully it would've been fairly clear she wasn't in her mid-teens.

OP posts:
CrispyCrumpets · 08/01/2025 10:10

It's valid feedback, whether you are a prude or not. I mean if you had ordered mens underwear would you have expected a younger and an older man frolicking on the ground in just their pants or would it have looked really suss?

Onlycoffee · 08/01/2025 10:09

I am on my 50s and at the age where anyone in their early to mid 20s looks 12. So I'm sure if you in your 30s thought the model looked young, older customers would certainly think she was young.
So if they are targeting all ages on their website YANBU raising the issue with them, they can use the information however they want.

Hoppinggreen · 08/01/2025 10:08

Rickrolypoly · 08/01/2025 09:54

wow, think this wins the best diagram on MN competition 😂

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I was trying to figure out which one was OP's car

JennieTheZebra · 08/01/2025 10:08

Tbh, Stripe and Stare is a company generally aimed at younger women. The model will have been in her twenties, most likely, so no need to be concerned about sharing. Attitudes towards bodies have changed a fair bit in recent years so it’s unlikely that they thought anyone would be offended, but it is ok to feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re a little bit older. Just don’t order from them again.

TheWonderhorse · 08/01/2025 10:07

I tried to research the company and the models and now have pants in a basket. Fuck's sake.

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:07

ItGhoul · 08/01/2025 10:01

Without seeing the image I think it's impossible to say if you're being a prude or not.

I think you're being a bit weird to assume a model is a teenager because she's thin though. You say the company is Stripe & Stare. They use models of all sizes and ages and they sell underwear so models in underwear is what I would expect from their marketing. Are they are only supposed to use models with body types you approve of? Some adult women are thin. Some teenagers aren't.

Obviously you're totally entitled to complain if you feel it was inappropriate though - and you obviously do. So I'm not sure why you're looking for other people's validation.

I think I've phrased it badly- I'm not assuming she's a teenager (or at least not under 18) because I think a company would have to be very stupid to use underage models for topless photos. It's just the fact that she very easily could be a teenager- and most people with that body shape ARE teenagers- which made be feel instantly uncomfortable.

I definitely take your point with this comment:
Are they are only supposed to use models with body types you approve of? Some adult women are thin. Some teenagers aren't.
This is why I thought I may have overreacted.

I'm genuinely not looking for validation- AIBU is not the place for that! I'm just curious about other people's thoughts.

I agree it's hard to judge without seeing the image (even with my spectacular artwork!), but I just don't feel comfortable screenshotting it, even if I deleted it straight after- I'm sorry.

OP posts:
PumpkinSpicedLatte · 08/01/2025 10:06

just to say OP your diagram has me ROLLING 🤣🤣🤣🤣

NCMJ · 08/01/2025 10:05

YANBU.

I think you did the right thing OP.

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 10:05

I’ve looked at their site and they don’t seem to use models who look like teenagers. They also seem to use quite a diverse range of body shapes. I think that maybe you are overreacting here, also reinforced by your refusal to share the image due to being a teacher - you’re allowed to share underwear adverts as a teacher and who on earth would be policing what you write on Mumsnet anyway?

PonyPatter44 · 08/01/2025 10:05

Fuck me those are pricy pants (very nice, though - i am a bit tempted to get some...). I don't think you're being prudish, though. Sometimes brands like to trial different styles of image to gauge customer reaction, and now you've provided your customer reaction.

OriginalUsername2 · 08/01/2025 10:04

Not heard of them before but they seem to use a range of normal bodies which I like. Skinny is a normal body type. None of these people look very young either.

But we haven’t seen what you saw. If you felt uncomfortable, you felt uncomfortable.

ItGhoul · 08/01/2025 10:01

Without seeing the image I think it's impossible to say if you're being a prude or not.

I think you're being a bit weird to assume a model is a teenager because she's thin though. You say the company is Stripe & Stare. They use models of all sizes and ages and they sell underwear so models in underwear is what I would expect from their marketing. Are they are only supposed to use models with body types you approve of? Some adult women are thin. Some teenagers aren't.

Obviously you're totally entitled to complain if you feel it was inappropriate though - and you obviously do. So I'm not sure why you're looking for other people's validation.

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:01

user3827 · 08/01/2025 10:00

can you send a link instead, so it's more like you're sharing a recommendation for underwear??

The image was in an email- can you share links to emails? I'm only in my thirties but I'm a total luddite.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:00

user3827 · 08/01/2025 09:59

sorry just have to say this is the funniest picture i've seen this week 😂

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Only this week?!

OP posts:
user3827 · 08/01/2025 10:00

can you send a link instead, so it's more like you're sharing a recommendation for underwear??

user3827 · 08/01/2025 09:59

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:52

This is the weirdest thing I've ever done, but here you go!

She's on her front but propped up, so it's an angled side view, but you can see nipple.

Show quote history

sorry just have to say this is the funniest picture i've seen this week 😂

Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:56

Rickrolypoly · 08/01/2025 09:54

wow, think this wins the best diagram on MN competition 😂

Show quote history

Finally, I've won something for my art!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:55

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 09:52

Why would you assume she was a teenager just because she was thin? Lots of models look like that well into their 20s or even older. Why don’t you tell us the company or send a link to the image and we can judge for ourselves?

I agree she's probably not a teenager, but she looks like one, which was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not accusing them of using underage models, but of making at least one of their customers uncomfortable.

The company is Stripe and Stare.

I don't want to screenshot a picture of what looks like a semi-naked teenager because I'm a primary school teacher!

OP posts:
Autumn38 · 08/01/2025 09:55

I think the assumption about her being a teenager because she is thin is a bit much.

i was very well developed as a teenager and looked older than my age but it wouldn’t have been ok for anyone to make an assumption regarding my age just from my body type.

Rickrolypoly · 08/01/2025 09:54

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:52

This is the weirdest thing I've ever done, but here you go!

She's on her front but propped up, so it's an angled side view, but you can see nipple.

Show quote history

wow, think this wins the best diagram on MN competition 😂

OriginalUsername2 · 08/01/2025 09:53

Impossible to say without seeing.

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