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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
dynamiccactus · 08/01/2025 11:43

Mrsredlipstick · 08/01/2025 11:41

You can complain to the ASA.
I did re Daisy perfume. The camera angle was fixated on their breasts. No underwear was being worn.
You have to ask who are these ads for? I do know that Daisy is the fragrance gift of choice for young guys to give. It's not a very feminist brand although they do make 'Perfect' which uses inclusive imagery (however we rarely see it).
Complain away I say.

Edited

The Daisy and Perfect TV ads have to be among the most annoying of all time!

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:43

MagentaRocks · 08/01/2025 11:39

No she is not a man. Women can be abusers or accused of being abusers too.

you are forgetting the context, about the implication of the police finding advertising material for women's underwear on the OP's post. Why would a woman be ever bothered about that!

Which is why I asked if she was a man (she's not, but I didn't know that)

ElizabethTaylorsEyebrow · 08/01/2025 11:43

This is totally ridiculous but you’ll get plenty of support here on MN

dynamiccactus · 08/01/2025 11:43

I am waiting for an order from them. I'll see if I get something similar with my package and then report back.

Wishboneswishes · 08/01/2025 11:42

OP this post has made my day!

Let’s just calm down though! OP is a teacher and obviously a fab one as she is hyper sensitive to safeguarding young people. There is nothing wrong with that.

The body of the woman does look like that of a young person I think especially next to the larger body. No judgement just my opinion and the fact that one body is bigger than the other.

As a teacher you are trained to shout out ANY concerns. It’s kind of difficult not to when you feel something isn’t right out of school.

Of course OP is mistaken in this case but if only there were more people like the OP who are quick to raise a concern …

Mrsredlipstick · 08/01/2025 11:41

You can complain to the ASA.
I did re Daisy perfume. The camera angle was fixated on their breasts. No underwear was being worn.
You have to ask who are these ads for? I do know that Daisy is the fragrance gift of choice for young guys to give. It's not a very feminist brand although they do make 'Perfect' which uses inclusive imagery (however we rarely see it).
Complain away I say.

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:41

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:32

I don't care enough about you to bother
I obviously didn't need to anyway. It's obvious. Hence my post.

Why else would you insult someone like that?

Insult? Theres nothing insulting about it. And if you think there is you need to be asking yourself questions.

The irony.

Michellesbackbrace · 08/01/2025 11:41

The diagram!!!😂😂😂

I agree OP, I wouldn’t like that either. I hate having nudity forced down my throat - I’m not a prude but I’m quite happy to not see other peoples bits in my day to day life unless I’m about to have sex with them!

The worst was on a beach in Cornwall (a well known family beach, not a nudist one) where a french couple decided to play bat and ball slap bang in the middle of the beach in the nude. The whole beach fell silent 😂

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:39

canyouletthedogoutplease · 08/01/2025 11:33

@TheWeeKelpie how long is it since you saw anyone under fifty close up?

Just now - I’m 66.

MagentaRocks · 08/01/2025 11:39

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 10:38

you are a man?

And you are judging women's body because they are not curvy enough for your liking and not "women enough"?
REALLY?!?

No she is not a man. Women can be abusers or accused of being abusers too.

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:38

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 11:30

Okay well maybe that has skewed your perception of other people’s bodies if you think being slender makes you look like a teen. Also the other woman in the picture looks no more or less muscular than the slimmer one. Why would you see visible muscle when they are lying down flat on the ground?

My weight has nothing to do with how I perceived the picture. But perhaps being someone who does CrossFit at Open Masters level despite being overweight means that I do recognise someone with no muscle tone when I see it.

And the other model - I didn’t pay her any attention.

VanillaVein · 08/01/2025 11:38

This thread has done me in. An absolute classic! 🤣🤣🤣

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 11:37

I think there is no harm in sending it, would be interesting to hear their response

canyouletthedogoutplease · 08/01/2025 11:35

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:25

She looks like a gangly mid teen with no muscle tone in her legs.

Seriously? Are you now going to rip into the other model with a critique of her body? What's causing you go do this? Is it helpful to speak about other women's bodies in this way?

Bromptotoo · 08/01/2025 11:35

Assuming we're talking about a woman past her majority but just with a slight, or even boyish, figure I'd say it was OK.

There was a fuss in the eighties around a band called Bow Wow Wow where the lead singer was a girl of around 14 and was photographed with, as I recall it, visible 'side boob'.

DUsername · 08/01/2025 11:34

TaggieO · 08/01/2025 11:18

For those asking - here is the “dead cat” thread…..
www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1318402-A-small-fluffy-bundle

Thank you, that was a very funny read! Op, you're definitely not as daft as dead cat op. Hopefully it makes you feel a bit better

canyouletthedogoutplease · 08/01/2025 11:33

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 11:21

I’m shocked that someone thinks this is a 15 year old. If someone said she was 36 I’d believe them.

@TheWeeKelpie how long is it since you saw anyone under fifty close up?

Digdongdoo · 08/01/2025 11:32

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:25

She looks like a gangly mid teen with no muscle tone in her legs.

She really does not.

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:32

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:27

I don’t have to tell you. You’ve obviously looked at my posting history and know that I’m overweight.

I don't care enough about you to bother
I obviously didn't need to anyway. It's obvious. Hence my post.

Why else would you insult someone like that?

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 11:30

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:27

I don’t have to tell you. You’ve obviously looked at my posting history and know that I’m overweight.

Okay well maybe that has skewed your perception of other people’s bodies if you think being slender makes you look like a teen. Also the other woman in the picture looks no more or less muscular than the slimmer one. Why would you see visible muscle when they are lying down flat on the ground?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 08/01/2025 11:30

I haven't read the thread, just looked at the diagram, but it looks like the car is parked off the road, it couldn't park the other side because of the river. Perhaps it is a bit close to the corner but otherwise should be OK. Am I missing something?

Bbq1 · 08/01/2025 11:30

Along with everyone else, I am seeing that's her arm. It's pretty clear Op as it would be a pretty shape shaped breast!!

littlegreydevil · 08/01/2025 11:29

MilitantFawcett · 08/01/2025 10:26

Bit of prudery no bad thing nowadays. But, more importantly, are they the “most comfortable knickers ever”?

Yes they are! Totally worth the investment. I was getting frustrated with the ever shrinking gusset on the high street, I don’t want to be “flossed” down there. These have a good sized gusset and the fabric is and remains soft. They wash really well too.

BIossomtoes · 08/01/2025 11:29

No other lingerie company offers adult size knickers with those sort of kiddy designs on them.

That’s weird because I love a bit of leopard print and bought my 71 year old self some pastel leopard print knickers from M&S just a few weeks ago.

TakeMyBreadAway · 08/01/2025 11:28

Elbowboob.