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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
broccolienthusiast · 08/01/2025 12:17

If anyone ever says women are not nasty to women who are slimmer than them you should point them to this thread 😎
quite eye opening tbh!

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/01/2025 12:16

OMG this thread has given me a good laugh. The diagram, the elbow boob, the email... 😂😂

CustardySergeant · 08/01/2025 12:14

Newyearpug · 08/01/2025 12:11

I saw the picture
Yeah ,there's no real need for a naked breast..you would think they would want to advertise their bras and have her wear one .
Trying to appear hip and cool I expect

RTFT. It's an elbow!

Newyearpug · 08/01/2025 12:11

I saw the picture
Yeah ,there's no real need for a naked breast..you would think they would want to advertise their bras and have her wear one .
Trying to appear hip and cool I expect

5128gap · 08/01/2025 12:09

I think your email was too detailed, almost gratuitous in its description, and the assumptions you make about the age of the model. If I recieved it I think my first thought would be that it wasn't genuine, but had been written by someone who wanted to write about teenage girls and breasts, if I'm honest. It would have been better to simply say you found the images used to be unnecessarily sexualised and were concerned that one of the models appeared to be very young.

LazyArsedMagician · 08/01/2025 12:09

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 11:53

It's peculiar, isn't it ....?

I am struggling to see the issue. I find the virulent dislike for the slimmer woman's physique disturbing. I find her body more attractive than the other woman in the picture.

WHO is saying they "dislike" her body?!

TeabySea · 08/01/2025 12:07

BlueMoanday · 08/01/2025 10:28

@AmIJustAPrude I agree with you!
Having just seen the image shared by @Datesandprunes I agree the image does look like a teenager body (even if it is not and is a perfectly reasonable adult body shape too). The nipple is gratuitous.
I would be uncomfortable too. Not in a "writing to my MP to complain" event but as you have done perfectly reasonably to the company in a private email.

[for clarity - it's not the body shape or the nipple or underwear - it is the combination of a photo that looks like a teenage body that is gratuitously exposed]

I can understand the argument but that's an arm not a boob.

Starlight1984 · 08/01/2025 12:05

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:07

may I ask..

what are we, middle-aged women, supposed to choose?

I wonder if I should start questioning my underwear choices, have I been so wrong all these years?

If my "too colourful" pants are "too quirky"
Where do we stand on black lace pants? Too slutly?

I, too am worrying about this now. But I think we've established:

No design - especially nothing childlike
Nothing pink - see above
No red, purple or black (unless you're an escort or a glamour model)
No "sexy" fabrics (lace is an absolute no no - a perverts dream)
No Brazilian style (shows off the bum cheeks)
Nothing high leg (likewise but thighs)
No matching sets (what are you, a hooker?!)
DEFINITELY no thongs.

Plain white, full knickers. The kind you get in Tesco or M&S as a pack of 5 for a tenner (or maybe more like £15 these days).

That's it.

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:05

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 11:21

I’m shocked that someone thinks this is a 15 year old. If someone said she was 36 I’d believe them.

Exactly - she doesn't look 15 at all!

LazyArsedMagician · 08/01/2025 12:04

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 10:48

I am not offended

I am just pointed out the hypocrisis and double standards

If I had started a thread complaining about the "rolls" on the other woman's body (your words), you can see how quickly it would have been deleted for fat-shaming.

Women "too thin so she looks like a teenager" on the other hand 🙄

It's embarrassing that women (or anyone) can feel smugly allowed to make such nasty judgements.

You're clearly very sheltered if you don't think that the hideously over-searched "teen" option on porn websites isn't using a particular body shape but with adult women.

And your point is ridiculous because nowhere has OP (or anyone else that I can see) said that there is anything wrong with her body, just that from a safeguarding perspective it could be construed as someone underage.

That same style of underwear is literally only sold in toddler, girls and teenage sections in mainstream stores

I'm wearing pink leopard print from Asda in a size 20 so you're "literally" incorrect. To be clear, they're from the adult section.

VanillaVein · 08/01/2025 12:03

Annnnnd...another thread derailed by the slim-shamers and insecure. Yet again.

DramaAlpaca · 08/01/2025 12:02

This thread is pure MN gold, it's got everything. Thanks for giving me a good laugh this morning Grin

ShinyPrettyThings87 · 08/01/2025 11:58

Oh, OP! Credit for having good intentions but this is fricken hilarious. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure many people get their elbows and boobs mixed up. It won't help, as it doesn't happen... And you've likely seen more than your fair share of boobs... Which is just the cherry on the top of this thread.

We should definitely make this a thing. Anyone on a dating site, strike the same pose and see if the men click on faster than the women that it's an elbow.

I hope you have a fabulous day after this cock-up (sorry, it may or may not be a cock) but don't be embarrassed, it's amazingly hilarious.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 08/01/2025 11:56

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:32

I don't care enough about you to bother
I obviously didn't need to anyway. It's obvious. Hence my post.

Why else would you insult someone like that?

Well, I'm very fat, and the model doesn't look underdeveloped or juvenile to me, as you say. But you're contributing just as much to a culture of making insulting remarks about appearance as anyone who calls thin or slim women underdeveloped.

ItsBulkingSeason · 08/01/2025 11:55

I haven’t half enjoyed this thread thanks OP 😂

Having seen the image I don’t think she looks like a teenager, I think both bodies look entirely normal for an adult woman.

Mockingjay876 · 08/01/2025 11:54

This has given me a good laugh today. Even if it was her breast in the image, It wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest.

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 11:53

ElizabethTaylorsEyebrow · 08/01/2025 11:47

I’ve just seen the photo. I cannot believe you are in your mid-30s and would be shocked by this totally ordinary photo of a not remarkably young or thin woman, which as others have noted doesn’t even show her breast. And to write and complain about it without even noticing it isn’t her breast!

How old are you really OP? Even my mum wouldn’t do this.

It's peculiar, isn't it ....?

I am struggling to see the issue. I find the virulent dislike for the slimmer woman's physique disturbing. I find her body more attractive than the other woman in the picture.

Puppupandaway · 08/01/2025 11:50

This thread has given me a much needed laugh!! Thank you OP. Maybe you need to have your eyes tested 😂 I've heard the phrase not knowing your arse from your elbow.....but not this 😂

ElizabethTaylorsEyebrow · 08/01/2025 11:47

I’ve just seen the photo. I cannot believe you are in your mid-30s and would be shocked by this totally ordinary photo of a not remarkably young or thin woman, which as others have noted doesn’t even show her breast. And to write and complain about it without even noticing it isn’t her breast!

How old are you really OP? Even my mum wouldn’t do this.

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:46

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:38

My weight has nothing to do with how I perceived the picture. But perhaps being someone who does CrossFit at Open Masters level despite being overweight means that I do recognise someone with no muscle tone when I see it.

And the other model - I didn’t pay her any attention.

😂😂😂

Brilliant

Growlybear83 · 08/01/2025 11:45

BIossomtoes · 08/01/2025 11:29

No other lingerie company offers adult size knickers with those sort of kiddy designs on them.

That’s weird because I love a bit of leopard print and bought my 71 year old self some pastel leopard print knickers from M&S just a few weeks ago.

And I bought a multipack of bright leopard print knickers in Sainsburys a few months ago too. This thread really has taken a bizarre turn if people are suggesting that leopard print underwear is a 'kiddy design'.

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 11:45

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:41

Insult? Theres nothing insulting about it. And if you think there is you need to be asking yourself questions.

The irony.

the way you are describing and judging women's body because they are slimmer than you is plain nasty.

You are bitter about it, we get it, but your posts are still nasty.

Startinganew32 · 08/01/2025 11:44

TheWeeKelpie · 08/01/2025 11:41

Insult? Theres nothing insulting about it. And if you think there is you need to be asking yourself questions.

The irony.

What? To say someone is a gangly teen with no muscle tone in their legs? Yes that is hardly a compliment is it?

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 11:43

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:33

Oh my god, I'm in absolute hysterics! I've just zoomed right in and you are absolutely right, it's her elbow! 😂What an absolute tit, excuse the pun!

To make it worse, I'm a lesbian- you think I'd be able to tell the difference between an elbow and a breast!

I'm so sorry for wasting everyone's time- I now need to send a grovelling apology to the company regarding me email! Any suggestions for how to phrase it?!

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life.

😂😂😂

To be fair, I looked at the image and also thought it was her breast!