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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

534 replies

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 09:39

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
AmyDudley · 08/01/2025 12:49

Having been searching for an elbow bra for many years, I'm hoping OP's email will inspire the company to introduce this much needed product into their range.

sweetpickle2 · 08/01/2025 12:48

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:21

I couldn't agree more. I was slim in my early 20s and always had bigger and out-of-shape women commenting on my appearance. Meanwhile, their 'rolls' were out, and not one of them exercised. Heaven forbid I dare fat shame them.

Show quote history

Are you joking? This entire post is fat shaming them!

zaxxon · 08/01/2025 12:44

rainbowunicorn · 08/01/2025 12:32

Maybe you should take another look. There is no breast in the picture.

Show quote history

just her naked elboob

pinkyredrose · 08/01/2025 12:43

User776532 · 08/01/2025 10:46

I was going to vote YABU due to "thin" being conflated with underage. However I had a look at their website and I find it very disturbing that they're selling knickers with incredibly childish prints and colours for grown women. Pink with stars, pastel leopard print, hot pink with rainbow spots. WTF. That same style of underwear is literally only sold in toddler, girls and teenage sections in mainstream stores.

It definitely smacks of encouraging grown women to cosplay as underage girls for men of extremely dubious taste. Without going into too much detail, there are multiple porn categories where actresses wear children's knickers with cute patterns and designs to make them appear like teens (or worse). That brand seems to be playing heavily into the market under the guise of being comfortable or sustainable. No other lingerie company offers adult size knickers with those sort of kiddy designs on them.

You need to get out more.

housethatbuiltme · 08/01/2025 12:36

AmIJustAPrude · 08/01/2025 10:28

I really don't think I am 'abusing' women for being too thin. Just saying that, without the context of a face, a thin woman's body could easily be mistaken for that of a teenager.

I absolutely agree that we shouldn't be judging women for their body shape, but I'm not judging her, I'm judging the company for sharing a photo of her wearing only pants without including her face.

Show quote history

You get plenty of 'fat' teenagers too, they come in all shapes and sizes because they are normal people. Close to half the kids at DS school are around the same size or bigger than me and I'm not overtly skinny at an average size 10-12.

Weight is in no way linked to age.

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:36

Gettingslimmer · 08/01/2025 12:22

Yes, she’s clearly a grown woman. What’s shocking is the other women who declare she can’t be as she’s slim.

one even said she was under developed.

how messed up are folks about weight when you see this sort of stuff written down.

Show quote history

It's insanity! OP even said: "a thin woman's body could easily be mistaken for that of a teenager."

Differentstarts · 08/01/2025 12:34

And this is why you should never believe anything you read online. It's gone from a teenage girl with her nipples on show to quite clearly an adult woman with her elbows in the picture. People really need to think before they make complaints or post things online because it's stuff like this that spreads like wildfire because people are so guliable, and innocent people and businesses reputations end up damaged

rainbowunicorn · 08/01/2025 12:32

Newyearpug · 08/01/2025 12:11

I saw the picture
Yeah ,there's no real need for a naked breast..you would think they would want to advertise their bras and have her wear one .
Trying to appear hip and cool I expect

Maybe you should take another look. There is no breast in the picture.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/01/2025 12:31

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:21

I couldn't agree more. I was slim in my early 20s and always had bigger and out-of-shape women commenting on my appearance. Meanwhile, their 'rolls' were out, and not one of them exercised. Heaven forbid I dare fat shame them.

Show quote history

You just have!

murasaki · 08/01/2025 12:31

At a previous job, we used to have the charmingly (forgive us, it was the 90s amd we were young) named 'nutter file' where the most egregious emails would printed out and kept. If you were feeling down, a quick flick through would cheer you right up. This would have gone straight in there.

pinkyredrose · 08/01/2025 12:30

Datesandprunes · 08/01/2025 10:21

Is this the picture. Sorry OP but I don't think she's teenager-esq at all.

I do think it's unnecessary boob though! https://stripeandstare.com/blogs/news/what-does-being-a-b-corp-business-mean

*edited to ask question

Edited

Can't see it. Where's the nipple? It looks like her elbow.

justworking · 08/01/2025 12:28

His thread is golden

LoremIpsumCici · 08/01/2025 12:28

Datesandprunes · 08/01/2025 10:21

Is this the picture. Sorry OP but I don't think she's teenager-esq at all.

I do think it's unnecessary boob though! https://stripeandstare.com/blogs/news/what-does-being-a-b-corp-business-mean

*edited to ask question

Edited

Thanks for this.
Obvious to me the “thin” woman is late 20s at least. She doesn’t look remotely teenage or underage. I disagree with the OP that only teens have that body type. You can’t see any breast at all as it’s her elbow so no gratuitous nudity even by British stds which are prudish compared to the Mediterranean countries that are fine with going topless at any age on the beach/by the pool.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 08/01/2025 12:28

Bloomers for all. Bring back the roll on girdle. Down with leopardprint. Out with tiger stripes, and flowery pink because paedophiles. It's all gone a bit too sexy so ID or cellulite to be shown on demand as proof of age.

It will be the ruin of us all. Beige Restriction is what we need to bring back, when we all knew where we were and there was no unsightly bulging. Or confusing elbows lying about to upset people.

murasaki · 08/01/2025 12:27

I can't wait for their reply. I imagine they are still laughing too hard to compose one.

larkstar · 08/01/2025 12:27

@AmIJustAPrude don't feel bad - thank-you for the laugh!

I don't think you were wrong at all to raise your concern - I'm not surprised that in your role you are perhaps a little more (rightly imho) attuned to such issues.

I am perhaps a little more disappointed that, given you probably spend several hours a day writing on an interactive whiteboard - that that was the best drawing you could do - but... send a copy to Grayson Perry's Art Club - it has a Picasso-esque quality to it.

paintfairy · 08/01/2025 12:25

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/01/2025 12:16

OMG this thread has given me a good laugh. The diagram, the elbow boob, the email... 😂😂

Same 🤣🤣🤣

housethatbuiltme · 08/01/2025 12:25

Yes your a prude.

Also as an older teen I went topless a lot. Its my right, my body and I can do as I wish with it. my age was legal to consent to anything (although theres technically no age illegal to be topless) your offense is entirely your own based on your (yes prudish) notions but does not overrule my rights to my body or that womans body either.

If you dislike promotional emails then just unfollow them but the issue is (lets be honest) nothing to do with side boob nudity from a lingerie company, its your own bias (since you keep going on and on about how its due to her 'looking' young in YOUR OPINION) control over younger women.

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:23

Mrsredlipstick · 08/01/2025 11:41

You can complain to the ASA.
I did re Daisy perfume. The camera angle was fixated on their breasts. No underwear was being worn.
You have to ask who are these ads for? I do know that Daisy is the fragrance gift of choice for young guys to give. It's not a very feminist brand although they do make 'Perfect' which uses inclusive imagery (however we rarely see it).
Complain away I say.

Edited

Complain for what ..... ?

Gettingslimmer · 08/01/2025 12:22

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:05

Exactly - she doesn't look 15 at all!

Show quote history

Yes, she’s clearly a grown woman. What’s shocking is the other women who declare she can’t be as she’s slim.

one even said she was under developed.

how messed up are folks about weight when you see this sort of stuff written down.

ClapKissBang · 08/01/2025 12:21

broccolienthusiast · 08/01/2025 12:17

If anyone ever says women are not nasty to women who are slimmer than them you should point them to this thread 😎
quite eye opening tbh!

I couldn't agree more. I was slim in my early 20s and always had bigger and out-of-shape women commenting on my appearance. Meanwhile, their 'rolls' were out, and not one of them exercised. Heaven forbid I dare fat shame them.

AhBiscuits · 08/01/2025 12:21

So your main objection is you can't see her face so she might be underage? That's pretty bizarre tbh.
Even if it were a boob, I think complaining about it is a pretty prudish response, there's nothing shameful about a woman's body.

rainbowunicorn · 08/01/2025 12:21

Mrsredlipstick · 08/01/2025 11:41

You can complain to the ASA.
I did re Daisy perfume. The camera angle was fixated on their breasts. No underwear was being worn.
You have to ask who are these ads for? I do know that Daisy is the fragrance gift of choice for young guys to give. It's not a very feminist brand although they do make 'Perfect' which uses inclusive imagery (however we rarely see it).
Complain away I say.

Edited

You think she should complain to the ASA about an elbow? Okay then.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/01/2025 12:20

Oh no, is this gonna be another 'cancel the cheque' thread.

WE KNOW IT'S AN ELBOW 😂😂

Bubblebuttress · 08/01/2025 12:17

Unless theyve changed it since your post?