Parents complaining about this in school?

My eldest is 17 and I've got stories about him being forced to eat his lunch during primary. Not being allowed to leave the dinner hall until his plate was cleared. Also being "told off" about the contents of his lunchbox. Once, i gave him a pre cooked mini pizza as a treat, vegetable sticks and dip that sort of thing and they refused to let him eat it because it was "junk food" they made him have a school dinner and i was charged for it. Obviously I wasn't at all happy about those incidents.

I've also got a 7 year old who is a bad eater. Very picky. He won't eat school dinners, we tried for a while and he wasn't monitored so pretty much every day he wasn't eating any food whilst at school. Nobody really knew because he wasn't paid attention to, he'd come home from school in tears because he was so hungry and we couldn't work out what was going on. I'd have liked a bit more supervision in that instance.

At his school, the headteacher has recently asked parents in the newsletter not to "overfeed" their children by keeping lunchboxes to a minimum and reminding parents that any snacks other than a piece of fruit are not allowed and will be removed from the child.

I'm not one for schools interfering so think it's all a bit bloody ridiculous to be honest, but its totally dependent on the individual child and situation.

This was done to me too as a small child. If I still didn't eat it then it was put in the fridge and returned to me at the next mealtime.

It didn't work and just made me dread mealtimes. It was only done at home, not at school. Oddly enough, I did eat a bit more at school than I did at home. My parents were very much of the "clear your plate" ilk. I just wasn't usually hungry as often as they thought I should be though and it turned mealtimes into a battleground, which none of us enjoyed.

They're not teachers, though, they're Midday Supervisors. They can pass on messages if they want a parent to know they're child isn't eating but they are not teachers

There is definitely no supervision in the way you are describing but there are teachers around to make sure there's no fighting / choking / etc. and then a handful of teachers in the playground to keep an eye on them (primary school)

For my daughter in high school kids eat wherever and there's no one watching anything. There are some quiet spaces with supervision for children who want that option.

They can't possibly watch every single child and individually coax them to eat more. Chances are that the children are perfectly fine. I don't think it's up to schools to decide how much/little someone's child eats.

The basic human need is for the child to be given palatable food, not to be forced to eat it if they don’t want to. It was your job to make it clear to your son that you expected him to eat more than just a bag of crisps (why give him crisps if you knew that was going to happen?), not the school's job to "get him to eat". Fair enough to ask the school to remind him, but that’s all.

*Schools are in loco parentis. You are responsible for looking after the child while they are in your care. So yes, it is your responsibility to get a child to eat if they aren't eating well, because that's basic care. Primary school children are still very young, especially in KS1 and in early KS2.

Unless schools are going to let parents come into school to help their child at lunch, then yes staff should be doing that, it's all part of the job.

I went to a private school and our lunchtime was a set time when we all sat at long tables and ate at the same time. Once everyone was finished and the plates cleared, then we went out to play. Quick eaters learned to chat to others, slow ones learned to speed up a bit before the course was cleared. Each table was supervised by a teacher sitting and eating with us.

I think a similar system of a set eating time as a previous poster also suggested would help a lot. Fast eaters would know they had to sit and chat, and slow ones would know they had a set time in which to eat. Then everyone gets the same playtime.

My son was one of those who would not eat because he just wanted to go and play, ace I had to ask the school to monitor him a bit because he was starving and so angry by hometime as a result. Some days he was literally only eating a packet of crisps. If I only gave him crisps for lunch and no other food that would be seen as neglect, but people on this thread seen to think it's ok if it happens at school. It's baffling.

I despair of this attitude that children's basic human needs are inconveniencing teachers. Education is about much more than numeracy and literacy and if you don't know that then you shouldn't be teaching.*

With all due respect, we're generally not talking about private schools here and I'll hazard a guess that your experience of school lunchtimes are very different to a standard school!
In my infant school we had 180 children and one school hall for ONE hour. Reception ate first then year 1 and then year 2. This was all with a maximum of 6 MDSAs but usually far, far less. We needed sufficient staff for the playground, sufficient staff for the children eating and sufficient staff to clear the hall promptly at the end of the lunch hour, so that PE/interventions could commence after the afternoon register.
We simply couldn't ensure that every child was given adequate support to eat all of their lunch but we did our absolute best! I said earlier on, some parents complained that their children were slow eaters and encouraged to eat a little bit more and then missed some of their playtime and some complained because they had told their children to eat their (often huge) packed lunch and didn't get much time to run around. We can't win!
We didn't have the luxury of fast eaters chatting to the slow eaters, or that the slower ones would just eat faster!!!! What a privileged experience you had!!!
Oh and each table had a teacher sitting with them? Our teachers barely have time to make a coffee and gulp down a Pot Noodle whilst preparing the afternoon session at their desk! Or replying to emails or ringing parents who criticise the smallest bloody ridiculous complaints!
In all fairness, if that's how you think state schools are then you are severely delusional!
(And have never worked in a state school!)

Well I went to a 'naice' primary school in a naice village in the south of the uk and it was horrendous.

For me I can understand, but then it's down to the individual to decide otherwise eg what if feeling full from night before or not hungry etc

I think it can be done. At DS' all boys secondary, they hired a young chef.
This was in the mid 90s to mid 2000s, the school had over 1,000 boys, a fairly standard comp (not selective) in a mid size market town and very popular. Excelled at sport but not half bad academically too.
The school meals were so good they were popular even with the staff, lots ate there voluntarily even though they paid if they weren't on lunchtime duty. There was always a salad option too.
I remember DS, who was and is very interested in food and cooking, having many conversations about recipes with the chef.
Of course this takes money. I don't know what it's like these days almost 20 years on.

I think at my child's school they sit for 15 mins and then allowed to leave, but if they finish after 5 mins they sit for another ten minutes.

Parents are daft

Forcing children to eat when they’re not hungry creates disordered eating. This is just common sense. Of course they can’t police hundreds of school children. As a child who was watched like a hawk by the dinner ladies and forced to eat every single morsel of food I can honestly tell you it was horrible and causes much more harm than good. I’m glad these days are long gone. As PP have said, children have to take some responsibility for their actions so you need to have a discussion about how it’s important that they prioritise eating their lunch before playing outside. Teachers are there to teach and have lots of other jobs to do. Genuinely, without trying to sound snarky it’s not their job to parent your child, it’s yours. You need to set out your expectations of them for when you’re not around.

Give your children a substantial breakfast and send with packed lunches if you can. If they don’t eat it at dinner let them eat it after school. Failing that, get some healthy snacks made up so they can eat them instead after school. My secondary aged son is a slow eater, doesn’t get a very long lunch break and spends most of his lunch time talking to his friends. He will come home and eat what’s left of his lunch then has his tea about roughly two hours later. Just like adults we can’t force ourselves to feel hungry when we’re not and hunger cues aren’t always routine.

There is not the time, as others have said. Daft to expect it.

I can still remember the dreadful primary i went to. Once i had a minor cold. My school sent a note home to say that i had not eatten all my dinner. I was actually well enough to be in. I was just eating a bit less.

Sure I saw a post the other day about parents complaining about kids being told to sit in silence for ten minutes, presumably to ensure they do all eat at least some of their lunch, but some parents thinking it was some awful draconian punishment.

I was one of the ones once forced to eat something I didn't like before I could go outside. I was genuinely a good kid, well behaved, well liked, quite and studious, so crying because Mrs Freeman wouldn't let me go till I ate my cream cake ("why did you take one if you don't like it?", "because I wasn't allowed to not take a pudding and I don't like rice pudding either", "don't be impertinent!") made a lasting impression. I was in Y4.

I had a child who'd regularly come home with a full lunch box, because he wanted to play and was a slow eater. He's 13 now, on the skinny side to be truthful, but eating his lunches after school doesn't seem to have made much of an impact otherwise!

So in answer to your question - let school do what they think is best.

As a primary teacher this complaint happens nearly daily in one of the classes- why didn't my child eat their lunch?! I'm not sure what teachers are meant to do about it 🤷‍♀️ all children are given food but after that point I don't think there's anything we can do! We have 120 children in a sitting with 3 dinner ladies - this includes them serving the meals! We don't let packed lunch children put food on the bin - everything stays in their lunchbox so parents can see what they've had.

If you expect teachers (as opposed to MDS) to stand over children making sure they eat when do you think they will have their own lunch and prepare for the afternoon, maybe if they're lucky, have a few minutes down time?

I would be more annoyed if the opposite happened - if my DC were being pressurised to eat more than they wanted. I used to be a dinnerlady and was once told off for telling a little girl she didn't have to eat a sandwich she clearly didn't like at all. When another dinnerlady told her she did have to eat at least part of it, she was really distressed. My preferred solution would have been for her to leave it, but for her teacher to tell the parent at the end of the day that she had not eaten it and suggest maybe she shouldn't have that filling again if it was important to the parent that she should eat it all.

I wouldn't want my child to be supervised in terms of eating. My children have always eaten to appetite. Some times my youngest has food left other, other times not but if someone was telling him to finish everything he would become upset over that. I would want supervision though in terms of safety issues such as choking or just making sure there's no problems with other children.

I still remember being made to sit at the table at home with a plate of cold food in front of me with my dad telling me I couldn't leave the table until I finished it. Didn't stop me being a Selective eater as an adult.

Lazy journo or Ai?

Teachers on Burgundy Book C&S do not have to do lunch duties. They are not paid to do this.

If you offered him a sandwich and packet of crisps at home but he only ate the packet of crisps then of course it's not neglect

I'm also one who remembers being made to eat school dinners that I hated, I was a fussy child (still am) and it was such a stressful experience. I wouldn't want my child being forced to eat.