DD and late night snack

@creamsnugjumper

I wouldn't give snacks to mine at that hour because, if they've eaten their meal, then I know they're not hungry. When they stay up late on a Friday/Saturday/holidays, neither ask for snacks. They have to be offered and even then they're just picked at. They eat 3 decent meals and fruit, they don't need a snack.

If they were leaving their perfectly good dinner and then refusing leftovers when reminded they might get hungry, that shows me they're either not hungry or just hankering after something else - usually sweets or something. Which they're not having as a replacement for a balanced meal.

Snacks weren't a regular thing in my house when I was growing up, nor DH's (who is Norwegian, so not from the UK). Even now, we'll only have "supper" if we're still up at midnight and watching something. 3 meals and fruit/milk during the day is plenty for them. It's not controlling, they're just not actually hungry - and I'm not wasting good food in turn for whatever it is they'd scoff if they had a chance to snaffle!

A friend of DS's regularly does this when he stays over. He won't eat his tea and then starts eyeing up the cupboards or asking DS to ask me for snacks...an hour after tea has finished. I asked his mum and she said he does it all the time, and never finishes a meal but always has cereal or something before bed. That wouldn't wash with my two.

We always used to have a 'supper' which could be something like a bowl of cereal or cheese and crackers, or an apple or orange. It may be that she is having her tea too early, but either way I wouldn't stop her eating.

Meh, DD9 always has a pre-bed snack. We make it healthy, eg some fruit and crackers. But she is genuinely hungry and doesn't sleep if she goes to bed with hunger. Tbh, I'm the same and I always have a pre-bed snack too. It works for us so I don't see the problem. I'd just make sure your DD has something healthy and not worth leaving space for.

I find this so strange to control another humans hunger, based on constructed times and rules that are UK western specific.

Is she overweight? If the there are no major issues why not just let her have some porridge, cereal or a banana.

When I used to weight train a a bowl of porridge before bed was always on the cards, I slept better and it was needed. She going through puberty, burns energy and is clearly hungry.

Restricting food won't that cause issues down the line? It won't harm anyone else for her to eat something else.

I would say go with it, change one meal into two smaller meals accordingly. But I'm not in your shoes and of course you have to follow your gut instinct.

Mine are much smaller but if they say they're hungry I offer toast and milk at bedtime

Smaller portions at main meal. Some people, especially kids, like eating little and often. Then I’d give a slice of toast or small bowl of cereal as a supper. I used to love French toast/ eggy bread for supper before bed when I was young 🤣. For now, I’d give her a piece of fruit and a glass of milk if you want to keep it minimal and healthy.

Do you have tea too early? She might not be hungry at the time you make tea if she’s having a full meal and snacks at school?

Our kids often have tea/dinner around 6ish and then will have 'supper before bed. Warm drink and toast, cereal, bagel or banana etc. As a PP said she didn't think that was unusual, and neither do I.

Bananas are a good snack as they contain nutrients that may help with sleep, including tryptophan, vitamin B6, potassium, and magnesium. Also look at foods containing melatonin (encourage sleep) and maybe incorporate them into her routine. It will fulfill her need had may also help with her sleeping .

We always had toast and a milky drink like horlicks or cocoa before bed.

This is probably why, to be honest. Don’t offer choices and make sure the one option is plain/boring. When I was a child I was given one slice of plain bread and butter, not toasted. I knew that if I woke up hungry that was the only thing I would get, so I only got out of bed if I was genuinely quite hungry.

We introduced a rule that if she wants a snack after "bedtime" then she gets bread and butter, and only water to drink.

Unfortunately she really likes bread and butter (or maybe just hates sleep lol) so she has it most nights 🙃

I’d be reheating dinner only. No junk food. No salty food. Nothing sweet. Just boring, healthy, “meal” food so she knows not to keep space for something more exciting.

My two older than your daughter 9 and 13 will often have porridge and fruit before bed about 8ish. They've had a full tea about 6 and a snack after school.

Breakfast - eggs/hashbrowns/beans or weetabix
Snack / banana at school or blueberries or kiwi
School dinner
Pick up - salad snack cumber. Toms, cheese and some bread today a Brioche roll
Tea: chicken veg and potato
Snack penguin
Supper porridge

They are very tall and slim and do a lot of exercise. We totted it up and 9 year old does about 10 hours and the 13 year old does 15 hours! so I guess they burn it off?

I think you've created this issue.

If she knows she gets the night snack when 'she's not eaten much tea' of course she won't eat much tea! Unless it's favourite food not just something she likes.

Instead of offering variety at night, offer something plain. Is it the end of the world if she has a plain cracker and water at 6.45 then goes to bed after teeth brushing at 7pm.

Or do tea for a later time?

Does she usually stay awake that long?

We do fruit snack after school here, then a relatively late dinner. None of us are early eaters. However, if mine were leaving loads of their dinner and then asking for snacks I wouldn't be happy.

I'd remind maybe an hour before bedtime that there was leftovers if they were hungry, but I wouldn't be doing the whole up and down with snacks routine hours later. If they'd eaten their dinner I'd offer warm milk or a herbal tea. At a push crackers with butter, but only if they weren't messing.

Snacks are fine if they're staying up late, but once it's bedtime if they've eaten dinner/claimed fullness then I don't see the need for it. It's usually just to extend staying awake. I did the same thing myself as a kid - begged for toast and then tried hiding it (if my dad fell for it) because I wasn't hungry, I just didn't want to go to sleep!

Some people are better at eating smaller meals but more often. Give her smaller portions at her evening meal and plan in an evening snack,

We always ate around 5.00pm, bath and jammies for 7.00pm and some toast and milk or a banana and milk just before bed. Each child had a water bottle beside their bed if they were thirsty for during the night.

If your DD has been sick there’s probably nothing left in her stomach so she would be hungry.

I would have saved her uneaten meal and offered it again if she said she was hungry.

i don’t understand binning good food, then being upset she’s hungry when the food is in the bin.
You put it there!! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well don't offer crisps or any other high value /high carb food she doesn't need sugar before bed

'supper' is a fairly standard meal though. Warm milk or even Two kiwis an hour before bed which are proven to have positive effects on sleep due to the natural serotonin in them so I would go with that each and everytime. Something boring and stay consistent, if she's hungry she'll eat it as long as ARFID or similar isn't at play.

Can vouch this is a real thing…my DC has done this a couple of times at home and at school lunch break after hanging upside down straight after eating (and had to stay off for 48hours each time).

My mum used to give us a dey Weetabix with butter on it.

I always offered my DC milk if they complained they were hungry before bed but they'd have had a snack after school and then a lateish dinner.

Also imo you shouldn't need to 'give' a 9yo child a drink of water, they should be able and allowed to just got to the sink and fill a glass whenever they feel like it and without a conversation about it

If she is waking up thirsty then put a bottle beside her bed.

Are you sure she doesn't have a stomach upset? I've never actually known a kid to be sick from jumping around after eating. I swear it's something my parents used to say just to stop us being annoying.

What time is her dinner? Tbh if she was in bed and asleep then woke up hungry I'd probably let her eat (ideally just dinner leftovers if suitable) and of course brush her teeth again. If she was up and down and dicking about I'd think she was just trying to delay bedtime.

I had dinner at 530 and currently eating some bread and peanut butter as hungry .

I have 2DC, one of them is always hungry. Has been since he arrived. I even had him tested for diabetes (not easy as a pre schooler, required outpatient appt at local hospital). He snacks very frequently (mostly yoghurts and 🫣 processed meat snacks). Doesn’t drink much (not through lack of encouragement). Deosnt eat or get offered large adult sized portions though. Never declines treats or misses an opportunity for a treat, even if should be full
My other DC rarely asked for food as a younger child and ate only when offered. Eats more now but is a slow eater and is often full before the plate is finished, will happily decline a treat if feeling full.
Both are very healthy weights and active, the hungry one would definitely ask for food and have trouble getting to sleep if no snacks provided.
Suggest saving food from unfinished meals and re-offer an hour or so after dinner. Otherwise offer plain (unbuttered bread or crackers). If they are genuinely hungry they will take it and will also get into the habit of eating more at meal times. I would avoid making a fuss about it though, just stoically repeat the re-offering of left overs or plain bread/cracker. No dessert if they don’t eat at least half of the meal and try a bit of everything offered. Also, are your portion sizes small enough? They still have tiny tummies, can get full quickly but need topping up regularly.