Hi everyone just wanted some advice on this situation. I have 2 Ds and the oldest one (20) has a girlfriend (21) he’s been with for about a year. We will call his girlfriend Alice (name changed), Alice was in social services care growing up which meant she moved a lot so didn’t go to school and she has some mental health conditions which saw her sectioned in a mental health unit when she was 16 for a year too. The result of this is she basically has no friends or family so if she doesn’t see my DS or come to my house she will be alone all day. Alice is a lovely girl so this makes me feel sad for her and I would like to see her with more friends as she has spoken to me before about having no girlfriends to do girly stuff with.
My Dsis has 3 children 2 of which are girls ages 17&23. I arranged a visit so I could bring Alice to meet them hoping they might make friends but I believe they added each other on social media but that’s all. Alice told me after that they are nice and she would be friends with them but she didn’t know what to talk about with them as they didn’t have much in common.
Now I go to a weekly coffee meet up with some of my friends and I also go to a hobby class and meet up with some of the people from that a couple of times a month. All the people are 40+. I suggested to my son I might bring Alice along with me to next week’s meet up after I told them how she’s quite lonely and they suggested bring her. I feel like Alice would like it as she has told me before she gets on better with older women as that’s who mostly cared for her throughout her life so she feels like she fits in better with them. However my son has told me I shouldn’t bring her to a “granny brigade meeting” (Only 1 of my friends is a granny!) and said she might feel out of place and awkward and that she’s fine with just us, I tried to explain that she doesn’t really go anywhere to make new friends so atleast this provides a opportunity for her to chat to some other women and make connections if she wants to. My son said she will probably just come because I’ve asked her not because she wants to and now I’m in 2 minds of asking her to come because I don’t want her to feel forced but I do truly want to help her make friends and be less lonely.