Nobody fed the baby.

From the title then it sounds neglectful, but reading the updates then not at all!
Sounds like the child had a good breakfast, so much in that they didn't want their lunch despite being offered and then ate well when given their tea. I don't see this as neglectful.
Yes maybe a cup could have been made available with water (not sure if it was as based on the drip feeds of the OP it's quite possible one was left out) but one of my children was never great at drinking so this would have been no different to them not having anything til a milk at bedtime (after tea).
Sounds like the OP is stirring.

You can change your vote. Merely click on the option you wanted and it changes

You say the mum was baffled at the adult/s’ behaviour . Is this a grandparent ? Are there concerns about forgetfulness ?

OP - you cannot trust these people with a small child! No water all day is absolutely horrendous. Never leave a child with them again!

This is mind boggling OP.
I am more worried about the lack of fluids. Not even a milk bottle?
I am also rather surprised that the baby did not scream the house down too.

There is no damn excuse. I would never ever leave my children with these people, ever.

Or they were inexperienced caring for a 13 month old.

And this is the key missing information. OP hasn't provided any detail on who the carers were in relation to the baby other than blood relatives. We don't know if they're elder siblings, inexperienced aunties, elderly grandparents, etc.

If the carers were deliberately punishing the baby for refusing their food then that's clearly awful behaviour, but that seems a much less likely scenario than someone who doesn't spend a lot of time looking after very small children.

I'm amazed that have to ask.
Obviously it's neglect.
That poor baby must have been so hungry and thirsty.
Did they change the baby's nappy..? Or was that ignored all day as well...

It sounds like there were multiple adults in the home but not one who is actually designated with looking after the child. And that’s how you have issues - everyone assumes someone else will do it, it’s not my responsibility, etc.

So the person who is actually at fault here is the parent for failing to ask one specific person to ensure that the baby was looked after.

The food isn't so much an issue imo. They had breakfast and tea with a small lunch.

But the not being offered a drink all day is awful though.

Oh get over yourself, she's posted on a public forum asking aibu and withheld the most important bit of information needed to answer this

The OP has been fairly clear in her posts that the issue is not social services, but how upset they should be at this treatment of the baby.

This is not a social services job clearly because this child is not at risk unless the mother has to leave the baby with these fuckwits on a regular basis.

On the other hand, I would be very, very angry. The baby should have been given the prepared food and offered regular drinks. The carers weren't doing any "caring". Either they didn't care about the baby's needs or they thought they knew better and were "punishing" the baby for refusing the offered food. It takes a high degree of selfishness not to think "You know what, I'm thirsty, the baby might be too". I offer my DC a drink whenever I make myself one unless they've had one recently.

But he was offered other food and just didn’t eat it.

No, this isn’t neglect. Why are you so hung up on this?

Can't edit the my last post but even the title is misleading. Nobody fed the baby - actually, somebody attempted to feed the baby twice but baby refused the first time and ate little the second time. This isn't uncommon for babies being cared for by new people.

I'm not suggesting mum should be comfortable using this childcare again (the fluids and not using the food that was supplied), but given the extra detail provided, to suggest anyone should be reported is ridiculous.

You clearly haven't seen how many primary age kids take a full bottle of water to school and take the same full bottle home again with barely a drop drunk!!!

Your continuous drip feed after your original message suggests you're being deliberately vague or misleading to illicit a particular response.

Baby wasn't given half an eggs worth of scrambled egg for lunch. Baby was offered and refused lunch (you've not said what), then offered and ate half an alternative lunch (a whole scrambled egg).

This is more than most nurseries would provide for babies who refuse food, which is very common, usually you're just advised at pickup 'BabySnake didn't any/eat much of his lunch today it was cottage pie and peas.' Gosh, when BabySnake first started nursery she went on hunger strike and only ate breakfast and dinner for about 6 weeks!

If the carers didn't offer any fluids all day (that includes leaving a sippy cup in reach) that would give me cause for concern and I would be questioning using this childcare again but the way you have approached this post suggests you're not being entirely transparent.

One occasion. A one off. Baby had been fed a good breakfast by mum, who left lunch ready but wasn’t there to give it. Baby was fed by mum as soon as they found out what had happened. No ongoing neglect, happy and healthy baby and at least one clearly responsible and attentive parent. Why on earth would you think social services would be interested ? OP has given scant information on the actual circumstance, and l suspect it’s very different to the impression she’s built up after a massive drip feed.

Read the updates. It’s a one off. From the mothers’ actions there’s no ongoing neglect. OP says the baby is happy and healthy and this hasn’t happened never happened before.

@mummy3456 I agree. I assumed baby had been left with babysitters away from home but from the updates it seems they were at home with other relatives who were busy and didn’t pay them much attention.

If mum was present in the morning, gave a good breakfast and left lunch things ready then fed the child as soon as they found out they hadn’t had a proper lunch then l don’t see this as neglect, and there is no need to report.

I think the whole thread has been a huge drip feed with OP giving misleading information then correcting it in response to queries. She also said she was looking for perspective on how angry to be. I think that’s weird, and it leads me to believe that OP is looking for a reason to report. There’s no ongoing neglect if baby is happy and healthy, and OP has admitted this has never happened before. So what’s the problem ? All sounds very judgemental and possibly malicious.

don't want to give details of who everyone is because i wanted pure gut reactions just to the lack of food. I'm sorry if it's frustrating

You're being ridiculous OP and as a result nobody can really give well-informed advice. Yes all babies should be fed but of course context matters

Scenario 1; Baby is regularly left in the care of a deadbeat dad/clueless relative. They have been constantly reminded to offer baby milk/water regularly. Mum has told them time and time again what food baby likes and even made up a lunch for them to give baby but they didn't give baby this. Mum is regularly coming home to a distressed baby who's hungry/thirsty. Baby is dirty/has nappy rash/doesn't seem to have been played with all day either. Mum shrugs when you question it coz 'what can you do eh?'

Scenario 2; Single mum had to rush to hospital because grandma broke her hip. She left her hapless 17 and 19 year olds in charge of baby. She hasn't done this much before but it was chaos this morning due to the emergency and she assumed they'd know the basics. She came home and 17 year old had been playing games all day and 19 year old had been on the phone to friends all day. Baby was safe but it was obvious neither teen had done a lot. Mum is livid, tears the teens a new one, vows never to leave them with her teens again, promptly feeds baby as much as they want to eat and drink and offers baby cuddle and play.

Scenario 1 I would probably report to ss as it's chronic and likely to lead to sustained harm of baby. Scenario 2 isn't ideal but is unlikely to have done baby any long lasting harm and mum is just as horrified as you are so it likely won't happen again. Social services probably wouldn't be interested. You need to give at least some indication which scenario is the closest to this baby's otherwise people can get on their high horse all they like but they can't really advise you in good faith.

Of course it’s neglect. Think of all the moments in the day the adult made themselves a hot or cold drink. And they never thought to offer the toddler a drink too?

At 13 months my baby wouldn't eat much every day but he was a milk machine! Aiming baby will have had 1-2 naps with no milk before hand or on waking... Did they not scream blue murder until milk was presented to them??? My baby could also sign for milk and I think that was one of his first words too. So he would just be croaking "mil, mil, mil," or "bohoh bohoh bohoh"

I might be wrong but it sounds like one of those chaotic day situations, moving house, emptying house for sale etc, grandma's arrived with 5 relatives and everyone thinks someone else is doing something. One day of that is not neglect IMO.

Mums not home ( unsure about dad) and a list was left. Baby had proper breakfast and minimal lunch and then proper dinner at 5. I'd be a bit peeved that they weren't given a bottle of water to wander about with but wouldn't think of it much. I wouldn't be rushing to leave my baby with whoever these people were again, but no I wouldn't be reporting anybody to anyone.

For everyone saying this is fine, these adults should be made to go without fluids and only a bit of egg for 10 hours and let's see how they like it.

I don't understand how some people can eat and drink themselves and not think of the needs of the tiny child they're looking after. My DC at that age would have been climbing into my lap to look at my food or try to take a sip of my drink, so would have been hard to ignore.

It smacks of a very selfish "I look after me and everyone else sorts themselves out" mentality. Sort of people who make themselves a cup of tea but never ask others if they'd like one, only taken to extremes here with this poor baby. Some people just don't care, and that makes them incapable of "caring".

No, OP clearly said the baby had breakfast. Sounds to me as though the baby was taken somewhere where people were busy - OP said there was a lot of coming and going. If there were several adults present and they’re not used to looking after a baby, that’s probably why it’s happened. OP also said the baby was well fed later, which suggests the baby was collected by the parents. It sounds very much like a one off. I can understand an OP not wanting to out themselves, but none of her posts have really clarified the circumstances, so people are going to be frothing long after she’s left the thread.

Poor baby!
I don’t have any children myself and even I know a baby needs more than this. The schedule and the prepped food sounds really easy and convenient to follow. I’d just set alarms for the food times, follow it and note what was eaten and refused. It’s not that hard imo, just common sense.
It seems like the caregiver either didn’t care, or thought they knew better than mum.