Happy couple without kids in the supermarket

Really? Honestly most ppl don't get home and think about some random child they saw crying on the supermarket. They just don't.

In a few years you guys will be like that again! Our dc are (lovely) teenagers now and we are back to skipping around supermarkets being all loved up. Everything is a phase!

I meant the posters who were telling the OP that she and her DD would not have registered in the couple’s day/minds. Just seemed unnecessary.

I agree- that post was lovely 😁.

Ironic given how much joy the poster above you has shown, their post was full of joy!

Why are people so utterly joyless on threads like these?

My kids are older now and when we first started leaving them, we'd nip to a supermarket as part of our trip out (because we could) and literally SKIP round the gaff like young, carefree lovers with massive grins and the world at our feet. Shopping in a supermarket just hits different when you can literally just browse and shop. If we saw kids kicking off or frazzled parents, we'd flash them a sympathetic smile or an awwwww just because we 'knew'. But I always thought people would probably assume we were annoyingly young carefree lovers, and not time served haggered and drained old souls who were only radiating love and light because we'd escaped the little demons for only the 7th time in 14 years.

I remember seeing a mum shout at her DC in a supermarket car park once and think she was really out of order (pre kids). This weekend I became that mum 🙈

No observer is thinking "just buy the toy to appease your child's tantrum." If anything, they're shooting you/her sympathetic glances to show they're not annoyed by her kicking off next to them in the supermarket.

It's not the parents saying no to a screaming child I'd judge - its the ones that spend 90% of their time saying no only to give in at the end anyways. What a waste of everyone's time and tears. And it's why they keep going on.

Good on you saying no and staying firm.

Oh I mean we've all known people who have a child and then think they have a monopoly on tiredness, haven't we? I don't think parents should be shamed for having a bit of a whinge about the tiredness - it must be a real pain in the ass. But yes, that does have to work both ways. I've got mental health conditions that zombify me at their worst, and I could teach the class on tiredness. But we don't know what anyone's got going on, not really. If we could all meet one another with kindness and solidarity rather than self-imposed martyrdom I think it would prevent a lot of unnecessary friction.

DD21 and I had a good chuckle recently in a supermarket when we saw some poor woman with a toddler having a major meltdown because she wouldn't buy him some toy or other. I said to DD "that was you once" and she looked at me in horror 😂
Life definitely gets easier OP. They might still have the odd meltdown but it tends to not be in public because, you know, so embarrassing 😂

yea its lovely but honestly we dont give a shit whether you buy it or not

One of the fun things if have kids that grow up is then you can truly appreciate how much easier things like shopping and travel is without them.
Love mine with my my heart but I also love having not to cart a big bag of nappies, mushed breadsticks and a slightly grubby toy to the shops just because I forgot bread and milk. Your time will come Op.

Do not judge childless colleagues who say they are tired.
They may be like me, on a shit ton of sedating psychiatric and anti epileptic drugs which cause severe fatigue.

You are lucky to have the choice to have children so put up with the inevitable tiredness.
I can't have a baby and have no choice but to take these awful meds that leave me feeling flat and sedated. But I still try to turn up to my job.

Yeah I have three young kids and when I'm out by myself dressed nice with make up on looking happy and stress-free and give (what I think are) sympathetic and encouraging smiles to parents of children who are playing up I do wonder if they think “yeah you’ll learn” 😂 but I already know!

Yup this is me too. And most of us I think.

I was thinking that!

I remember years ago I was pregnant with my second and out for a walk. A toddler was being an absolute pain for his mums, in and out of the buggy every ten seconds, shouting, stomping, all the rest. I gave them what I thought was a sympathetic smile from a fellow mum of a two year old.

But my two year old was at home napping and they clearly interpreted it as me thinking "my baby will never behave like that" and gave me utter filthies.

I'm just glad it's not me. They won't have thought about it much.

Some ppl on here are reading very deeply into a strangers passing interaction with other strangers.

when DH and i hear/see/encounter a tantrumming child we just fistbump and move on. We've done our time in the trenches and we're not unsympathetic.

Yep, that'll be me too 😅

I think it's highly unlikely they were judging you. Perhaps in their (clumsy?) way they were just trying to be sympathetic or reassuring (some people become embarrassed when their children kick off in public, after all). And if they were judging, then screw em. As others have said, maybe they have kids themselves. We just don't know what anyone's deal really is just by looking at them.

It's human nature to observe other human behaviour. Be happy that you taught them something about your life today, and when they are going through a hard stage you'll have come out the other end

Not going to lie, I TOTALLY (but silently) judged parents with seemingly out-of-control kids, before I had kids and became one of them myself. I'm now stressed out my box permanently 🤣
I now silently judge my child-free colleagues if they say they're tired.
I'm just judgey...

DH and I usually smile at crying toddlers in supermarkets, we were in one just today looking relaxed and chilled.

Why do we look relaxed and chilled? Because our DC are all past the toddler stage and are at school so we're enjoying a week of annual leave where we get seven child-free hours together each day

The toddler years will pass, OP and then you'll get your turn at being wise and laid-back in the face of someone else's toddler, secure in the knowledge that you've been there and done that.