Happy couple without kids in the supermarket

I tend to smile to the mum of the child in a supportive way, and internally think "thank fuck that's not me!".

We know they don't care?

Op is just sounding off

I thought OP was going to say they bought it for her DC as happened to me….
My DS has always “really really needed” and would be “so very very happy” if I just bought many random items on supermarket trips. I usually say no or steer him towards useful food items for making meals or treats at home. About a year or so ago, he was doing his best doey-eyed sales pitch on why he needed chocolate pop-tarts. This pitch had followed on from his jumping for joy in the shopping isle on spotting this very coveted item and telling me why he would be so so happy and grateful if we could just buy them today. I said no , he had already selected a treat item.
Knock me down with a feather… at the checkout a young man had purchased him a box and handed it to him. Didn’t know whether to be over joyed at the act of random kindness, or, embarrassed that he may of thought we were poor or I that was a mean mum. Or just laugh at DS ability to win over a stranger. My DS is definitely made to be in marketing, he sells a good story.

I always do a sympathetic smile at kids kicking off in shops, mostly in a 'don't worry I'm not judging' way for the parents! And I have no children and don't want any. I'm sure they won't give it any other thought.

I remember being in this stage with DP before kids and can honestly say I never looked at parents like this or thought I was more happy/chilled.
Never seemed to think the parents looked dishevelled or stressed or to be honest even gave it a second thought other than what a shame baby is crying

In the nicest way possible I don't think they even think about it or care. You are probably in the minority by being the one who used to judge before

I remember a screaming and fussing baby on a train once. His mother's attempts to soothe him sounded so half hearted. Then I saw her. She looked beyond shattered. I tried to give her a friendly smile, I hope she saw it that way.

Her child must be sixteen now, and mine is one - never been much of a screamer thankfully so far!

I don't have kids and if I was watching that situation I would have thought, good for you for not giving in to the tantrum. I definitely wouldn't have thought buy the £10 toy. Rewarding bad behaviour ensures more of it.

I try to always assume good intentions from people I interact with. Sometimes things people say or do land slight wrong. In the majority of cases, it is not intended.

Totally agree with this @Basketballhoop. Modern life doesn’t make it easy but I always try and remember that most people (most!) are nice non-cunts. We’re all just trying our best out here!

You don’t know what’s going on, maybe she can’t have kids or something maybe she went home and cried.

Yes!

IMO the sooner kids learn that they can’t have everything they want, when they want it, the better.

Oh god I’m reminded of the walk I took with DH and DD when she was about 4 months old. We went for a lovely long walk by the river and DD fell asleep in the pram so we stopped for a quick half at the pub before walking home. Tired but very happy.

As we walked back there was a couple with a toddler who was screaming his head off and lying on the towpath refusing to get up. We were trying to be very respectful and did nice non-commital vague smiles as we passed them. Thankfully I think it conveyed because they did them back and said ‘your turn next!’ with a sort of gallows humour.

I reminded DH of them about 18 months later when DD was doing the exact same thing at the exact same spot. I’ve since been the person saying ‘your turn next 😆’ to parents with newborns. And doubtless when in a few years we’ll see grumpy teens, then ours will be the grumpy teens, and so on..

Circle of life innit 😅

I’m afraid I’m guilty of doing the looking over smiling and saying “aww” thing sometimes when I see kids crying - it’s just bc I love little ones and it makes me nostalgic for when mine were little.

That’s when I’m in a good mood anyway, depending on the age/cuteness of the child I might just think “spoilt little brat’”! 😂

You have no idea what they were thinking.
They were trying to cheer her up/distract her from the toy. Sounds like they had empathy for your situation. And you judged them negatively.

I try to always assume good intentions from people I interact with. Sometimes things people say or do land slight wrong. In the majority of cases, it is not intended.

@pumpkinpillow maybe a passing thought, yeah fair point but also not sure that the supermarket couple will be sat chatting about it now. It was a passing moment.

OP was not judging childless colleagues who say they are tired.
She was not complaining about being tired.

I am sorry you need to take meds which make you feel so unwell.

No couple has ever, on finding themselves without their kids for an afternoon, chosen to spend that time at the supermarket!

I think about my incidental day to day events a lot. They just pop in my head when I'm in the shower, washing up, tidying or trying to get to sleep ie when my mind wanders.
It might just be a passing thought e.g. I wonder where that coat was from, or it might lead me to think about things in my own life e.g. I wonder how I would have handled the crying child, or (on remembering the crying child) I must give so and so a call to see how they're getting on.

I don't think that's unusual.

You're massively assuming and overthinking.

Also, perhaps their kids are late teens. Maybe they felt nostalgic. Maybe they were annoyed by her noise and quickly said aww to mask it.

Without a doubt they've forgotten all about it.

looking at her with sympathy, woman looking a bit awkward and surprised i’m not buying her the £10 toy she’s crying loudly for, clearly thinking i’m a bit mean and saying ‘Aww’ and her and her partner trying to smile and cheer her up.

You have made an awful lot of assumptions based on them saying ‘aww’ and smiling.

Or they could be going home to tend to an elderly or unwell parent, sibling or spouse. You just don’t know.

FWIW OP, if ai saw a mum saying NO to a demanding, tantruming child, I would be applauding her, not judging. I would be judging the one who says ‘oh go on then’.

I’m childfree. I’d have glanced at you with horrified sympathy & forgotten all about it 5 minutes later.

Yes, I certainly never gave strangers’ children a second thought, before or after I had DS. I certainly don’t have a mental category for ‘considering other people’s parenting’.

woman looking a bit awkward and surprised i’m not buying her the £10 toy she’s crying loudly for, clearly thinking i’m a bit mean and saying ‘Aww’ and her and her partner trying to smile and cheer her up.

You have no idea what she was thinking, just because you think she looked awkward doesn't mean she was 'clearly' thinking you were being mean.