Happy couple without kids in the supermarket

Why would you think just because a couple/person is childless, they don't know parenting is hard work?

I've known this since I was a child.
I had lots of cousins, then friends and family as I grew older, who had little ones.

Its not rocket science that little ones can be challenging.

Couple could have been another mum/dad judging your parenting or sympathising.

Could have been a childminder.

Could have been pregnant and knowing what to expect.

Could have miscarried/lost a child.

Literally anything,

But easier to jump to them being childless???

The point isn’t to challenge every viewpoint though, is it? It’s also to support, to empathise, to chat…

@BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop

Really? I'm autistic. Well fuck me no wonder this place makes me feel shit.

@BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop Like I said people will jump on literally anything you say on here.

Don't worry op most sensible people I find are very sympathetic to whinging children in supermarkets.

I remember one momentous occasion when I was in Tesco and my dc were 5 and 2. My 2 year old had an absolute meltdown wanting to get out of the trolley, I didn't let him because he wouldn't walk and I couldn't carry him and push the trolley at the same time. After a couple of minutes of him screeching "let me out! let me out!" I abandoned the shop.

They are 9 and 6 now and I'm the one smiling in sympathy at those with screaming kids

@ellibelly7 people “got it”, they just thought it was a bit judgemental. It’s an online forum, the whole
point is to challenge each others viewpoint.

I got what you were saying, you were being kind of tongue in cheek there but sometimes online not everyone gets the implied humour. Also we all judge people and have less than charitable thoughts at times. People on here will pull you up for anything in my experience.

@ObieJoyful nobody has said that, but to that couple she barely does matter.
You have dozens of interactions per day, most of which will leave your brain almost immediately- it doesn’t mean that the people you interact don’t have inherent worth.

Many people on this thread have said the same thing, they believe it to be true

Is it though? I’ve had interactions that I’ve pondered on afterwards.

But my issue was the manner in which some people posted, as though the OP doesn’t matter.

These threads always disintegrate to outright bashing of childfree or childless people. I don’t have kids (only partially through choice) but it always surprises me when it surprises people that parenting is hard, it certainly looks hard from the outside.
Im another person who just doesn’t really think that couple would have given it much headspace

I think the op was just having a giggle to herself that it could have been the situation.

woman looking a bit awkward and surprised i’m not buying her the £10 toy she’s crying loudly for, clearly thinking i’m a bit mean

That's a lot of assumption. She probably doesn't give a shit. Why would she have these thoughts about a random child/parent in the supermarket?

They’re still allowed to be tired. Sorry but it really makes me see red when people assume only parents understand tiredness.

When kids tantrum I smile. As in I understand and I don't want to look annoyed at the noise etc. I'm usually alone as my kids are older.

I sometimes think I hope hey don't think I'm laughing that it's them and not me.

@peppermintgreengrass sorry if I offended you. We had infertility so had IVF, so I do understand, but the colleagues I am referring to are definitely childfree by choice.

It's called smugness....

The way you used to be.

Ah yes, we infertile people are never allowed to be tired.

I totally get it and yes they just won't understand. My and DH were desperate for kids and struggled to conceive but we were very blind to the realities of parenthood and what it does to your mental health, your body and your relationship. Its so bloody hard going at times and I feel like my life and anything else I might have wanted out of it is so out of reach now, also the accelerated aging is very depressing, and they said having kids would "keep us young" as if!

I'm sure it didn't used to be so hard but I don't know what has changed to make it feel so difficult now society in general or our expectations of life and parenthood?

But it’s true?

The "parenting journey" oh dear.

I would certainly not have stopped to coo over your ( in my eyes) exceptionallly ill behaved children in the supermarket.

The couple sound quite mad.

Hormones can drive people to make catastrophically unwise decisions.

Think with your head, not your ovaries, women.

I get you @Theworldhasgonebananas

I love the times I get to shop without my daughter (also much wanted and 10 years plus of uvf loss etc) but when I get to pop to the shop for something alone it feels like a bit of a treat! The casual perusing of it even if it is just cheese aisle 😂😂😂

Maybe I need to get a life as it is not a treat as such or maybe I'm just easily pleased 🤷‍♀️

@KimberleyClark Yes, I have to say the sneering at people who are child free (not that we know this about the couple in OP's case anyway) is a bit wearing. One of the reasons I don't have children as an adult is that I was a parentified teenager who literally raised a child who wasn't even mine (I mean, strangers can't know that about me, but if this thread shows anything it's that not knowing is no barrier to wild speculation!). I'm not clueless in the least, nor do I exist outside of some magical sphere of knowledge and awareness that one can only enter if one has actually given birth. I do know, and sympathise enormously.

They might have kids and be genuinely sympathetic to your situation - whenever DH and I are out alone without DD (rare!) I always feel a pang of recognition and empathy whenever I see a parent struggling with their kid, we've all been there.

I doubt we'd be mistaken for a child-free couple though - the years of child rearing are etched on our faces.

….or, alternatively, they could be out kicking up their heels several nights a week! Like I used to be…child free but old now!