Am I wrong? And what shall I do? *content warning SA* added by MNHQ

So sorry this happened to you
yes block on your kids phones and if they are old enough I’d tell them why and it could start a conversation about consent

What he did was voyeurism and it is illegal and. you must report him to the police.
His behaviour is disgusting and totally out of order - makes you wonder what else he has been up to.

Dear god this is bad. It reminds me of the poor woman in France recently on the news. I wish you cottage and pride. You deserve so much better.

Please report him to the police. He’s predatory and vile.

You're obviously a kind, giving person @ShyRubyFox and men like your Ex seek out women like you, they take advantage of your kind nature. He fed you a sob story about having no family so you'd take him in, he cried when you found him out he'd SA you so you wouldn't report him, basically he's scum.. Reporting to the police would be wise but it's totally your choice. If you want to go down the police route don't tell anyone first, don't give him time or warning to destroy evidence because you may not be his only victim.
I'm very glad you found him out Op, now forget the shame, it's him who should be ashamed and who needs exposing for the pervert he is

Maybe if you talk to family, one of them could support you if you do go to the police.

I know it's scary to go to the Police, but goodness knows what else he did to you whilst you slept. Also as I said previously, his next partner will be at risk. He is a sexual deviant. It doesn't bear thinking about what he could do in the longer-term.

Please don’t be ashamed, you’re a victim and haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve been really brave by making him leave, you also need to block him out of your life for good. Explain to your sons that he’s broken the law and that you’re reporting him, so they must block him. You can tell them details that you feel comfortable sharing with them later. Call one of the women’s charity phone lines that offer support and ask for help and advice. I’m sorry that a man has done this to you and he definitely doesn’t deserve your loyalty.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Abusers are often very subtle in their approach and he will have accustomed you to be accepting of the abuse over a long period of time. Be proud that you recognise it now and you’ve taken action.

I think its a choose your moment and choose your words issue but please do consider telling your sons what he did and that you would not stand for it? Maybe not now but at some point in the future. You may not want to go into detail but I think its important not to allow abusers to hide.

Please don’t be ashamed of yourself.
You are an innocent person
He is a violating disgusting pervert.

Wash that toxic piece of shit from your life.

I’m so angry on your behalf, OP.
He’s repugnant.

All the shame should be his, not yours.

Yes this, you don't need to go into detail but tell your boys he was abusive and that you don't want any continued contact with him by anyone.

You are too nice, focus on yourself for a bit and make yourself the priority for a change, you deserve better

The shame is not yours.

@ShyRubyFox the shame is not yours. This is not on you. There is no justification whatsoever for what you have experienced. ❤️

He is a disgusting pervert. I am so glad you chucked him out and I beg you to never allow him into your life again!

You were right to get rid of the disgusting useless cocklodger, tell him not to contact you or your family again, explain to your sons that he did something completely unacceptable (you need not go into detail) and you want nothing more to do with him

In future don’t let anyone live in your house or into your life if they are not contributing, I cannot understand why you would do this, of course he wants to come back, you were financially supporting him and I presume making his dinners, doing his laundry and cleaning up after him aswell

Please report this to the police and make sure to send them the footage you have collected.

This is truly terrible OP and you must be in shock to hear everyone tell you that you have been a victim of sexual assault.

I don’t wish to worry you but the sooner the police get into his phone, the better. It is possible you have not uncovered the extent of his abuse on your camera for that one night. The police will get further evidence from his phone.

I think he admitted to the other occasion far too readily, which makes me think he could be hiding more.

Fucking hell. That is a criminal abuse of intimacy and trust. If you cant report him to the police, I would be as transparent as you can be with the people around you. Do not let him play the fucking victim. That is sickening and outrageous.

This is where a porn soaked society gets you, a place where men feel entitled to use women's bodies as they see fit.

Totally agree with @ohBling. Men are being programmed by porn and society is telling women that it is all totally normal. That we want to be hurt during sex, that our bodies are commodities to be bought and sold, that this is all just being sex positive. It is so hard to be clear on what are healthy boundaries.

I do hope you can find your anger here. What he did to you is appalling. No person who ever cared about you would do this. He is not the person you thought he was, that person does not exist. He played a good enough game to get into your home and your bed, but now he has shown his true colours. He is a perverted, abusive man and deserves to be known as such.