Unused embryos - is this a ridiculous thought?

I had this same dilemma. I had 1 embryo left after 5 transfers and 3 children (all from the 1 cycle -we started with 6 embryos).

The specialist said a transfer into the wrong part of the cycle was something they could do (Australia).
I decided to do the transfer at the correct time to give it the best chance, and if it worked we would be happy. If it didn't we would be relieved. It didn't work. It was 50/50 for me it seems.

The transfer you are asking about is called a "compassionate transfer".

Speaking as somebody with eggs that apparently failed to launch - confirmed by an ultrasound, no hormone surge detected by two ovulation predictor kits and no temperature rise, I can tell you the baby is 23 years old now! I think you'd be taking an enormous risk to implant these if you think your family is complete. Presumably, every time you have a period you don't mourn a lost egg.

Mine were also donated for research but over 18 years ago and not in the UK.

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love to the right.

I get you in the sense my clinic did not want me to freeze my extra embroys after my cycle as they felt they were not good enough quality and I should do fresh next cycle...and I was kind of no I can't let them die! Of course I did defrost and they didn't work unfortunately. If was wondering what I would do with them if I had decided I did not want any.
I think I would feel uncomfortable putting them in me to die in an environment I knew they were not going to survive in. BUT its really OK if this is what you want to do? If your clinic agrees and you will have closure in this way than go for it its not for other's to decide or judge you.

Having been through this myself, i understand how you feel

However it is rather a ridiculous thought to waste that money, time and resource

Maybe you should have counselling instead

Once i fianlly gave consent to destroy my embryo, i felt more at peace. Haven't looked back

Had the same situation in Greece. They were able to use for research but not donate to a person who needed them. She has tears in her eyes when she told me this. According to my Greek doctor with the political situation in that country (a move to the left). Women’s rights and therefore fertility has regressed, she seemed to think it was headed that way in other countries too.

Love your idea. Wish I’d thought of it.

Same. I would only give them to research.

Being over 40 ours were donated for research no age restrictions that.

Even if we were under 40 and able to donate to another couple. I don't think that is something I'd have wanted to do.

@Pollyanna87 Let me guess. I bet you managed to concieve all your children with no problems. If you don't mind sod off. Shame I can't say what I want to say...

Couldn't decide whether to ignore your most provocatively disgusting comment as you clearly are looking for some kind of reaction or whether to pull you up on it ! Couldn't hold my tongue so needed to say - seems you have never been in the position of yearning for a child and needed medical intervention to help that happen. Not interested in what other reasons you feel IVF is a bad idea as imagine they are as ill informed as the first one. Thank all the powers that be that the pioneers of IVF didn't have your mindset.

I cant donate any embryos anyway as my husband was over 40 when they were created.

You either agree with IVF or you don't. If you don't fair enough but don't go guilt tripping those who have had their prayers answered via IVF.

If the option is the bin or research. Id choose research. Mine were donated mine to help train other Doctors to help other people.

A friend of mine asked for them back, then threw the vial into the sea whilst on a lovely holiday aboard a cruise ship. She did ask permission from the cruise line, who were lovely about it. They asked if she'd like the captain to come and say a prayer as they threw the vial in, it was declined as in no way religious, but the ship found a quiet, low deck for her and her DH to do it.

Only potentially. I have a potential human in storage but unless it is implanted it has no chance.

Why not? My son was a frozen embryo. He comes from the same batch that gave us our daughter. It can take several attempts to have a sibling.

It's not a big thing in the UK (although apparently it is legal under certain conditions), but there are some places, particularly in the USA, where another couple will 'adopt' an embryo to avoid it being destroyed. It's different from donating to a couple with infertility issues because it's mainly religious couples who do it for moral reasons even when they would be able to have children naturally. And they are often more willing to take on an embryo that might not be top grade, or where there's a risk of genetic conditions.

It's a horrible decision to have to make, OP. I do think some counselling would help.

I had the embryo that became my my son transferred at 42. He was born 4 days after my 43rd birthday. Don’t regret for a millisecond. You’ve done the hard bit, getting enough eggs and creating viable embryos ;I never had any left over). Don’t stop now! I don’t think that there is much difference between 40 and 42 really.

@Viviennemary it is potentially a human being. I thought of them that way as it makes it too emotional otherwise and the transfers/storage/money would never end, when would it stop?

I was in this position four years after DD was born by IVF. She was conceived after 10 years TTC and was born two months premature which was quite traumatic. We had three frozen embryos and I just couldn't face signing them over for research or destruction but was very scared at risking another premature birth even though I was advised by the doctors that the problem (pre-eclampsia) which caused to my DD's early arrival was unlikely to be as severe with a second pregnancy.

My idea eventually, as my age deadline for further treatment approached, was to ask for them to be implanted without any supporting treatment. However, the clinic wouldn't do that so I ended up going for a full frozen embryo transfer cycle (Ie with all the drugs and scans), being convinced that it was really unlikely to result in a pregnancy given our history of TTC and the age I was when the embryos were created. When the embryos thawed on the morning of the transfer, the embryologist told us that they were poor quality and unlikely to implant, but gave me the option of going ahead if I wanted, which I did.

Two out of the three embryos implanted although one 'vanished' around 9 weeks. The other is now my beautiful teenage son who thankfully was born full-term, but when we discovered I was actually pregnant again, it took a lot of getting used to, especially for my DH.

Things worked out fine for us but if you go down the road of transferring embryos (with or without drugs and scans), there is going to be the chance of a baby (or more) at the end of it so you do need to weigh things up very carefully. Giving them a chance was the only option for me though.

It absolutely isn’t a human being.

I had 7 frozen embryos, and have recently decided to 'destroy' them or however it was the clinic put it ! I did ask if I could have them myself to bury them, but was told no

I'm sure when we signed all the legal papers for the IVF, they said legally they could only be stored for 10 years in the UK for various reasons.

Haha! The law changed in 2022. Prior to that it was 10 years but the law changed in July 22 consent must be regiven every 10 years

I never thought about the emotional turmoil that women go through in your situation. I can’t relate (except having desperately longed for a child after loss) but just want to send a virtual hug and hope you’re able to make the right decision for you. It may end up being one of those impossible situations where there is no ideal outcome. Good luck x

I think this kind of moralising language is a large part of what makes things harder for people like the OP. The embryos are not 'waiting for a chance at life', they're fertilised eggs which could, in ideal circumstances and with a pretty large dose of luck, eventually lead to an ongoing pregnancy. Fertile heterosexual couples having regular sex create embryos all the time and many of them don't implant or, if they do, don't go on to develop into babies. IVF makes embryos and very very early miscarriages visible in a way they wouldn't otherwise be, which is why it's so emotionally draining. But I suppose it also does give you a chance to consciously say goodbye, OP - which may feel helpful?

I think it's pretty unlikely that a UK clinic would agree to implant the embryos, or let you take them home to bury. They would remove them from storage and let them perish naturally. One aspect to consider that might be helpful is that - even though this won't be taking place in your body - this could be just as 'natural' as implanting them into your womb. In natural conception, many fertilised eggs don't reach the womb at all. IVF gives embryos a head start that they wouldn't normally get by injecting them straight into the right place.