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Original poster

What should school for ND kids look like? AIBU to suggest that a one size fits all is wrong?

105 replies

Jadebanditchillipepper · 07/01/2025 00:07

As above really. Do you think that the current school system is right for all children? Particularly those children with SEN.

I have three children. DC 2 and 3 are both neurodiverse and school in it's present form has been at best - not meeting their needs and a worst, harmful to both of them.

The eldest of the two is now 18. They have never been happy in school. They were bullied in primary school and then in secondary school, just had no friends, hated school and were just miserable. When I spoke to the school they weren't interested - as long as they behaved and did reasonably well in school, the fact that they were unhappy didn't matter.....

Eventually, when they started to refuse to go to school, I demanded a meeting. When I suggested that DC2 might be Neurodiverse, they laughed at me. So we moved to a different school who were more switched on.

Initially, DC2 did well, but then there were problems with bullying etc again. Limped through GCSEs and eventually ended up in a small independent school for A levels.

DC3 who is also AuDHD has gone to the same school DC2 did GCSEs in. Struggled in year 7 - reasonable adjustments put in place so managed year 7. Year 8 - total disaster - reasonable adjustments completely ignored. struggling to attend school October/November. School Finally agreed to reduced timetable end of November and now managing to attend 3 lessons (out of 5) per day.

Why don't schools recognise that every child is different and that some need adjustments?

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 07/01/2025 00:31

That’s not particularly revelatory, is it? Everyone knows one size doesn’t fit all. How to do it within the constraints of staffing and finances is the unsolvable bit.

TempestTost · 07/01/2025 00:26

Of course if you have kids with significantly different needs it won't be suitable for all.

Classrooms with 20 or more children need to have certain things in place just to be able to meet the general needs of the fairly typical kids in the class. They need to be relatively peaceful, orderly, have suitable curricula, the kids need to be broadly in the same place academically, among other things.

Lots of schools can barely manage this, and in fact don't manage it. Many kids find the classes too chaotic, or the academic expectations are inappropriate. Children who are not broadly in the same place academically, either ahead or behind, also aren't well served.

That being the case, yes, kids with more complex needs will struggle in many cases too.

Cherry8809 · 07/01/2025 00:26

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I often wonder the same.

Snowfall11 · 07/01/2025 00:21

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Ponkeypink · 07/01/2025 00:12

I agree one size doesn’t fit all and as there are so many ND children, you would think there would be an alternative that suits their needs, rather than having them struggle in mainstream.

I suppose lack of funding is the main barrier but I do think something should be done to help these children along and make school a happier place for them to thrive.