To think it’s uncommon to both work full time with small kids?

Depends what your definition of full-time and part time is...I am classed as a full time employee because I work over 30 hours, but I work less than the majority who work 35 hours

I only have one friend who went back FT and she is a company director.

Everyone else in my circle worked PT when their babies were little. Actually most worked PT until DC at senior school. I do live in a very popular area where people tend not to move away. So we all had the benefit of grandparents and didn’t have to pay for childcare. The friend who did work FT has both sets of GPs living abroad.

Among my professional friends and acquaintances, it's usual to be back full-ish time, but maybe not taking on as much work which involves travelling to other parts of the country, etc. I went back part-time when each of mine was 3 months old and full-time by 6 months old, and that's pretty normal in my area of work. My sister, in a completely different line of work but also self-employed was roughly similar, I think.

Yanbu. In the offices I've worked in the vast majority of women have been part time until their DC's were settled in primary school.
I can't think of a single couple that both worked full time with young children.

In my circle, most have at least one parent who has gone part time. I would have liked 4 days or compressed hours but that wasn't an option where I work - it was full time or 0.5, no other option. My days are long and I didn't want full time nursery all week so opted for 0.5 and will go back up once kids at school. It's not ideal financially but I love my days with my toddler.

More mums in my daughter and sons years at school are PT than FT (year 1 & pre school). In pre school I'm one of around 5 parents out of about 20 who send their child in the full 5 days a week and work. The majority are only in two days a week and mum's are SAHM's.

I think it mostly depends on your social circles and where you live. Our social circles mostly live in the home counties with professional careers or expensive areas. Where we live is a part of rural west midlands. Our mortgage is sizeable but not huge like a lot of our friends. My career also isn't professional and I can easily move across sectors to progress if needed. I'm mostly the odd one out to be honest.

I work in healthcare so it’s easy to get part time hours so for my circle it’s actually pretty rare to work FT with little ones. Most of us with young kids are 2-3 days a week.

I returned to full time when my youngest turned two. Before that I’d done 4 four days a week which as a PP suggested was pretty rubbish as it was essentially compressing a full time job into part time hours for a 20% pay cut.

I earn double what DH does so it makes more sense for him to be part time. He’s finally agreed but his work declined the request so he’s having to appeal.

My DD is in year 2 and very few of the mums are full time. Even the ones who only have school aged children and no preschoolers. Definitely feels like we’re in the minority with two professional working parents. The only way we can manage it is because DH gets lots of holiday and we both work from home most of the time.

Nearly everyone in my professional circle one parent works part time when kids are preschool, makes it much easier for roles to be flexible I think

When I had my first child I went back full time but it was only three days a week as I was a nurse. My husband did the childminder drop-off and pick-ups on those days

When I had my second child I dropped down to two days a week (25 hours) because working three nursing shifts with two young children would have exhausted me!!

In my area it’s unusual for both parents to work ft. I’d say one or both are pt until school age.

dc are 11 and 13 and in most families I know, it’s still the case although typically the mum working 4 days a week so not massively part time.

It’s not a wealthy area - but property is cheap ish and it’s easy enough to manage with one car, so that cuts outgoings a lot.

We both went part time until DC was 3 and started nursery. Now I'm still part time 2 days and DP full time. I find i need to do part time as i would never get a break otherwise

I work full time, because I want to, and I’m the odd one out with friends and among the women at work, who are all part time to varying degrees. When my twins were very small they were in nursery 3-4 days a week and with my mum the other 1-2 days (apart from Covid when they were exclusively at home for almost a year), and since starting school we’ve had a nanny.

That’s obviously true for you, but it’s not true for everyone, certainly not for me and my husband, neither of us wanted to go part time. You just have to do what’s best for your family, I don’t think there is a one size fits all approach to things like this. I think our approach is the best possible for us, but won’t work for everyone.

I, and the majority of people I knew at baby club, nursery etc, all worked full time when kids were small, and so did their partners

Quite common here but this is commuter land , lots work consolidated hours though. There is also a large hospital and airport so lots of shift workers.

ETA we both work full time but both work 5 in 4 so only need after school childcare 3 days a week

Live in Edinburgh where schools close midday Friday. I am rare for working full time (need the money). Feel guilty for putting the girls in after school club all afternoon but I have no choice. A lot of mums would work full time if we didn’t have such a ludicrous local authority though.

I only know one couple who both work part time, but they have inherited wealth. Everyone else, both parents work full time both my NCT group and close group of friends. Most could probably afford for one parent to go part time (we could, possibly even for one of us to not work at all for a while), but neither of us wanted that.

We don’t find it stressful, have a good work/life balance and wouldn’t change a thing.

Vast majority of women I know work full time , although a lot do their hours over three or four days rather than five. Which is the best of both worlds really. Full time wage, more days off. It was my dp who dropped hours when our dc were small.

I'm still part time and mine are teenagers now. If you can afford it it's a better life.

Just from mumsnet alone you can see it varies so much. Almost all my friends with primary school aged kids work part time and have some degree of flexibility. One of my neighbours is a single mum and her kids go to breakfast club, her mum then does school pickups and cooks an evening meal and has the children till she gets home. Our other neighbours both work full time, one works locally and is able to do school drop off but then has grandparents collect from school. My parents live too far to be able to help in such a way and my mil doesn't wish to so we had to make it work between us. Initially dh worked from home 2 days a week whilst we used childcare, once we had our 3rd child he compressed his hours and I went self employed. We have greater flexibility now but it took some years to get to this position.

I know some of each, and quite a few where the mum didn’t go back to work at all, but the majority I think have one parent part time, 3 or 4 days. And almost everyone I know has some amount of working from home/flexibility in hours.

I work full time and so does my husband. In my job I'd be working the hours anyway so might as well get paid for them. We have no family but my kids love nursery and they are there till 6pm. My eldest has started school and he does afternoon club. It's hectic but the only way we could afford 2 kids frankly!

Only two of my friends with young children work FT with a FT partner. One because in London there's no other option and one because she was planning two close together and wanted to maximise mat pay, I believe. I suspect she might go PT after this mat leave.

Most others work 3 or 4 days a week, mostly mum but sometimes the dad too.

I work pt and DH works ft, I work 2 half days a week in my own business. It's fairly common in my circle but there are also quite a few with 2 ft working parents. We're in London with dcs at a prep, so cost of living is about as expensive as you'll get. The ft workers are always very senior (partners in law etc) and have nannies.