I’m scared of using new/nice things

I've always been like this too. I got a great deal on some skincare that cost hundreds. It was too nice to use do sat in the wardrobe for years, until it was past its best. Clothes never worn etc. My DH is the opposite and that's helped a lot. I remember the two of us buying new boots. Mine were in the box, kept for some future occasion, and he ripped the label off his and put them on to go to the shop. I was horrified and said "but they're new, you can't wear them out to the shop". He said "But that's what they're for...to wear". It actually made sense. I've been trying to do better and it is working.
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I've posted about this before and yes this is me.

I'm really bad. I actually put nice things people give me away in the cupboard for someone more worthy (in my mind).

I'm managing to get better with my children. To start the beautiful things we're out away for best. In lockdown. No best. Now I force myself to use those.

But I dress like a bag lady and no chance of me opening even twenty plus year wedding gifts.

It's absolutely, for me, a worth thing.

There is a great Ted Talk on this subject x

Think of them as consumables, not ornaments. Why should you not be deserving of wearing or using the best you can afford? Nothing worse than when you see items given away after someone's death and they've never been used, as they were kept for good - what the hell is 'good' if not now?

I managed to break this habit by designating Friday as nice clothes day. It gave me permission to wear clothes I have saved for nice occasions because it was their designated day. I still struggle with nice drinking glasses and nice table clothes etc, but its step by step

Same. I wear/use my ‘best’ stuff every day. What’s the point in owning it otherwise? It’s just stuff.

Well I could be like this with some things I suppose but I'm not

I wear the best make up and clothes and eat the nicest food I can afford. I open new things immediately and use them or wear them

The only things I tuck away are my great grandmas wedding ring as it's loose on my finger and my mum's gold Tiffany bracelet which is also loose - I cannot replace these items so I don't chance it

Anything else is fair game though.

However it's a bit of a mental condition, to not use your nice things and walk about in old clothes or whatever. So you either give yourself a talking to or seek therapy or, if you can't , resign yourself to this being how you live

Mr Monkey is a bit like this. I tidied a cupboard over Christmas and found three unopened boxes of running shoes and some shorts still in their wrapping. I tend use stuff immediately, regardless of specialness, generally because if I bought it I need it/want it.

I knit a lot of gifts for people and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to see the recipient in a year’s time wearing the threadbare, much loved and worn gloves I made them, or to see their baby wrapped in a blanket I made that’s covered in mashed banana and fluff and clearly gets used every day.

For the same reason, toys in museums that are still in their packaging make me sad - to paraphrase both Plato and Toy Story 2, they’ve never had a chance to BE what they were meant to be.

Wear the nice dress. Put the cashmere cardigan on. Pour that expensive wine or beautiful bath oil with a generous and joyful hand. Enjoy the small pleasures that make up our brief and wonderful time on this earth.

I got married in 2000 and was given a set of Wedgwood cutlery that came out at Christmas. This year I thought, ‘sod it’, threw out all my mismatched IKEA/TK Maxx/Tesco knives, forks, and spoons, and installed the good stuff in the day to day cutlery drawer. It’s so nice to use 😁

Oh goodness yes, the notebooks! That one upsets me most because I truly love them; I have to force myself to just open a page and write my name to get it started. Feels like I'm marring something, until about two pages in and then I finally enjoy it. But it's not easy!

I absolutely agree. I think 2025 should be the year we're kind to ourselves and let ourselves enjoy these nice things. I have a beautiful new perfume (it's only Lush, so not crazily expensive), and I'm going to put it on when I get out of the bath tonight. In my pyjamas. For bed! We deserve to feel nice.

thaisweetchill

oh my wow, snap!! (Yours wasn’t Gucci was it?!)

I used to be like this until one day I realised a perfume I adored had been discontinued. I went to the bottle I had and it was nearly scentless because I’d had it so many years. My friend gave me a molten brown shower gel and I started using it daily and felt fab! No I couldn’t afford it again for some time but I was thrilled I hadn’t wasted it!

I used to be like this but my turning point was when I used a perfume I always 'saved for best' and it didn't smell as strong as it used to, I didn't realise perfumes could stop smelling nice after time and since then I now wear or use things I would have previously saved for best.

You've only got on life, use the things you buy!

Absolutely. Choose a notebook and use it proudly.

I'm the opposite of this. But wishing I wasn't right now. I bought a £450 jumper for £50 from Vinted, it arrived today. It's beautiful. Tried it on and dropped ketchup down the front within two minutes.

I am also like that, but I've tried to change because a lot of clothing I saved because I really liked it ended up no longer being my taste and I should have just worn it until it fell apart rather than saving it for 'good'. Try to think in terms of cost per use, the more you use or wear it the better value it is.

I do the complete opposite because life is so precious I want to wear the best things etc. start small - use something and enjoy. Know it will prob break but use it anyway. It’s just stuff x

I used to do this because of low self esteem from childhood. Then I realised I was surrounded by people who wanted me to have low esteem. So then I had a fuck it moment and i now wear my nice things as a fuck you and yay me lol I buy my kids nice clothes and toys because I want them to get used to it and not be treated like they're not worthy of good things and good treatment.

I do this so much with clothes. Currently sitting here in my threadbare dressing gown because I chose not to put my ‘good’ pyjamas on after my bath…

Oh yes the best crockery

I have this too.

Sometimes it's difficult to get rid of the grotty stuff and you feel guilty for taking it to the tip or it's hassle to dispose of it

Does it help to try to unravel some of the illogical thinking? So you use the flask and it breaks, or wear a top and get a hole in it. What's the outcome - you don't have the flask or top to use any more. But you aren't using them anyway so the outcome is the same, just one way you had some enjoyment from them first and the current way you had none.
Hand creams will go off, candles will lose their scent, oils will turn rancid, clothes will get moths. What you are currently doing is just denying them a chance to give any pleasure and for you to enjoy them first.

I am the opposite. I use everything immediately. Life is too short to look at things and not use them. I have several very expensive items I use regularly. I also think of cost per wear!

"But the reality is I would rather use stuff and enjoy it, and if it gets broken along the way then so be it, rather than it sits in a cupboard until after I die and a complete stranger gets the benefit at a knock down price!"

That's a great way of looking at it! Imagine some rando just getting it for a fiver in a charity shop and probably not even appreciating it.

When I was clearing out mum's house after her death (my childhood home) I found things that I'd had as a child and young adult. Pretty soaps I never used because "for good"- 30 years old, cracked, hard and unusable. Notepaper faded and foxed. Luscious expensive handcream gone rancid. Cashmere jumpers that I hadn't packed properly, with moth holes in. And so on and on.

Oh yes, recognising the grandparents and parents having a "best" dinner set in the sideboard for decades!
Eventually it went to charity, as it was so dated and none of the family wanted it.

My grandmother had a sweet floral teacup and plate set that she regularly used. It was her favourite, not "best". I inherited it, and it sat in a cupboard for a decade as I didn't want it to get damaged.
This Christmas I brought it out and am now using it daily. I now enjoy it and think of her each time.