I’m scared of using new/nice things

I used to be like this when very young but then realised I was wearing the same old crap every day, using naff items, not feeling like me. Because the nice things we lovingly buy are an extension of our personalities and tastes. I'd look at photos of myself and wonder why I didn't like them. Also lost a few people who died young and realised life is too short not to use/wear the good stuff. There are rarely special occasions to wear the nice stuff to.

Now I wear all my good clothes all the time, my jewellery, nice makeup, use the best kitchen stuff, toiletries, furnishings, best coat, and everyday I feel like my true self. When someone snaps a photo of me or someone bumps into me, I'm now happy as I'm looking how I want to look. I'm portraying the image I want to portray and that helps so much with confidence.
You spent the money and effort buying all these nice things. Use them! You are worth it and you will be happier for it. The special occasion isn't coming.

Yes, I loved Lego as a child. I’d build great little scenarios!
Love watching DS doing the same. He enjoys all of his toys.

My sister doesn’t allow her DS scribble, sticker etc on toys, books, children’s furniture, so she can sell it on afterwards.

SIL is the same with children’s clothes. No playing in them!
I’m really changing my ways, since having DS, which is good.

@Mydogisamassivetwat
I'm at my desk at home with perfume on! Not the best perfume but I've got bottles of the stuff that I just never wear.
DH uses Aftershave every single day. So it's a regular birthday/ Christmas present idea.

The awful thing was, I couldn’t even give a lot of it to my children as a lot of it was water damaged, covered in mould. It had to go to the tip. And it was all worthless anyway.

I will never do that and I teach my children not to either. Things are to be enjoyed. So what if you get a whole in those lovely jeans, use up the expensive perfume, use the lovely notebook - it shows you’ve used them and enjoyed them.

I am sat hugging the dog and getting covered in hair in an extortionately priced (to us) superdry hoodie that dh got me as a present. I don’t really do anything else bar walk the dog and clean the house. If I didn’t wear it and get muddy dog prints on it, it would sit in my wardrobe. So I’ll enjoy wearing it until it’s worn out.

That's really sad.
It's up there with people who hoard Lego thinking it's going to increase in value. While it might, Lego also watch the second-hand market, and have been known to re-release sets, knocking down the second hand value, things like the Taj Mahal, the first winter village set, the Harry Potter sets, Star Wars death star.
I think about all the wee lego people who are never put together or played with. 🥲

Oh that's excellent!

I know after this thread I'm going to wear my jewellery, it sounds so silly after all it's only materials

My dad was like that my whole life. Even extended it to me. He would buy me things for Christmas but I wasn’t allowed to open the box, had to keep them as they might be worth some money. If he got bought anything nice, he wouldn’t use it.

I cleared out the loft when he died. it was boxes of unused stuff that went to the charity shop or the tip. The saddest thing was all the presents I got as child, all packed away as my parents were sure they would be worth something one day and all worthless shit now.

I use everything. We’re all going to be dead one day, what’s the point of not enjoying stuff or money while we can.

I am like this, I get it from my mother. She saved things for best and I do too. I think that it stems from not having much when growing up.

In my experience, and some of that personal, this is related to trauma, something in your young experience. Trauma doesn't have to be a huge incident, its more about how we processed it at the time, or didn't. Id say its related to value of yourself and the environment growing up but only you would be able to fathom that. It can be about having some kind of “be perfect” driver

My Mum was like this. She had been poor once so I think it stems from that. A little bit has rubbed off on me. So you are not alone.

Your time is now, you never know if today will be your last. So wear those shoes right out of the shop!! 🙌🏻

Oh god, this is me. Any pyjamas I've ever had have been Christmas presents from my mum. Last summer was the first time I'd ever bought myself pyjamas and it felt so indulgent, although I needed a summer pair.

Someone bought me a very fancy candle for a big birthday, over a decade ago, and I have never lit it. It has a ceramic lid on it and for about 8 years I didn't even take the lid off as I could smell it a bit without the lid being taken off and I didn't want to waste the smell . I have now allowed myself the pleasure of having the lid off. I don’t know when I'll allow myself the pleasure of lighting it.

I do this far too much. Constantly putting off nice things for myself for the future.

Definitely an anxiety thing.

I think people who buy things that they don’t use have more money than sense!

Hi,
I know so many people who keep things for best and guests, but I don't.

I use and wear lovely things every day and live by the phrase, "Buy cheap, buy twice" so I buy or save for the highest quality but no 'best' things as everything is regularly used as intended. I'm not wasteful or careless with them and appreciate and enjoy them. Some things in my home are older than me and passed through many hands, some will serve their purpose and be used up or worn out.

The most precious thing in my home is people, everything else is for their comfort. Growing up, my family home offered a warm welcome, everyone was, "at their aunties" and made to feel at home. My home continues this sentiment.

Books - now they are the one thing my madness has never applied to. My friend never broke the spine of a book because 'then it wouldn't look new anymore'.

I had a great teacher who used to say that she preferred to see an obviously well loved book and it stuck with me.

DH just uses things straight away. New jackets, boots.
Buys quality, never “this will do the job” Tesco version.

I have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes, accessories.
And make-up, shampoo, jewellery… Nice chocolates…

Books are another thing, I like to keep them “perfect”.
What I like is “newness” & even keep things in the bag.

When I get back from shopping, I’ll defer opening things.
I wasn’t always like this, but I’m becoming like my parents.

I’d really liked to change… DS is so unlike me, this way!
So, I want him to enjoy things, and see me doing the same.

It’s a bit mad because I’m on a fairly high salary for my age (£42k in 20s) but you’d think I was on minimum wage by seeing how restrictive I was. I started using my nicer things and actually feel a bit of a lifestyle shift, if that makes sense.

I'm guilty of keeping stuff unused and tucked away. This thread has made me think my behavour is a bit mad. Tomorrow I'm going to throw caution to the wind and take the lovely designer guild rug I bought last year out from storage and allow it to be walked on. Yes who in their right mind buys a rug and then squirrels it away lest it be walked on...

@AliceMcK I was thinking the same thing some of it must stem from the days of people keeping their best clothes for church. But they probably wore those clothes every week not waiting for a function to wear them too.

I'm not too bad with clothes. Although I should have a clear out of my drawer's. T-shirts with holes, and fancy underwear that nolonger fits that i dream of fitting back into.
My current nice undies do get used, just because I can.

It's perfumes and toiletries that I hoard. I should ditch some that have been loitering for too long and use the new stuff.

My dad grew up very poor and is like this. He has this expensive leather jacket in the cupboard for the last 20 years and has never worn it.
Try watching some minimalist videos on youtube. I found some of the advice there so freeing.

Such a shame!

When my mum died she had all these beautiful candles never lit cost ££££ and they didn't smell of anything by the time she died. What a waste

I love it.
That was one of my DDads expressions in life - nae pockets in a shroud!

We had the good Denby out at Christmas and we really should use it more...

so tonight I ordered a trouser suit but second hand (to overcome the newness issue), it will be for some family events - I am going to wear it the day it arrives. I am between two sizes and got the larger size, so can be slouchy and layer warm thin jumpers underneath.

Nice! I love cashmere. If it helps the cause on my to do list this week is repair a wool wrap I spent about a year knitting. I found out on Saturday that one of my cats (once again!) ate the corner off so I have to find yarn to repair it.

While I’m at it I’ll pick out yarn that I was ‘saving’ and find a project for it.