Are people rude or just oblivious?

imtoo · 2025-01-06T17:44:34+00:00

I had my hair done the other day, hairdresser asked what I used to dry it and I said the AirWrap. She said I bought a different brand, there’s no way I’d waste that much money on a product when I can get cheaper that’s just as good … I had the full two weeks off at Christmas. Two friends asked what I’d had off and told them and they said - I’d never take that much time off because it’s a waste of leave .. Have your own opinions sure but why the need to put someone else down? Am I being too sensitive?

Pumpkincozynights · 10/01/2025 08:02

The thing I always find is that people who claim ‘It’s just the way I am. I’m an honest type of person.’ Never like it the other way round.
Start criticising their choices and they cannot take it. Absolutely serves someone right though, if they are rude to you, to be rude back to them. Then watch their face drop.

confusednorthener · 09/01/2025 13:58

I don't think people intend to be rude, but are ignorant all the same.
They are voicing their opinion, without thinking of how the words will land with the listener. One-up-manship is as old as time and feeling better after opining is probably why they keep doing it, albeit unintentionally.

SoniyaJonas · 09/01/2025 13:44

From my experience, many people aren’t intentionally rude—they’re often just unaware. Giving them the benefit of the doubt can save you a lot of frustration.

Whistledown2 · 08/01/2025 20:06

@GrannyWeasel yawn

GrannyWeasel · 08/01/2025 19:33

Whistledown2 · 07/01/2025 04:50

Quite frankly OP, you are incredibly lucky to have nothing troubling you in your life. To devote so much energy into insignificant comments (from probably insignificant people) is really sad.

I agree with some PP that you sound sensitive, I would also say insecure.

The two example comments you gave are not worthy of discussion

YABVU

The two example comments you gave are not worthy of discussion

Yet here you are discussing it 🙄

Differentstarts · 07/01/2025 08:57

Whistledown2 · 07/01/2025 04:50

Quite frankly OP, you are incredibly lucky to have nothing troubling you in your life. To devote so much energy into insignificant comments (from probably insignificant people) is really sad.

I agree with some PP that you sound sensitive, I would also say insecure.

The two example comments you gave are not worthy of discussion

YABVU

Why would you think op has no other issues in life. So everytime someone gets something nice you like to tell them how shit it is and how they wasted their money i don't think op is the unreasonable one here

Whistledown2 · 07/01/2025 04:50

Quite frankly OP, you are incredibly lucky to have nothing troubling you in your life. To devote so much energy into insignificant comments (from probably insignificant people) is really sad.

I agree with some PP that you sound sensitive, I would also say insecure.

The two example comments you gave are not worthy of discussion

YABVU

BBQPete · 06/01/2025 23:05

stargirl1701 · 06/01/2025 22:53

Telling someone they are fat and ugly is rude.

Telling someone a BMW is a waste of money is an opinion.

These are totally different things.

I've spent this evening discussing how to 'take' opinions with my 10 year old. Point one of my advice was who is saying it? Someone you love and respect? Some random? That essential difference is how much weight you place on their opinion.

Exactly.

BBQPete · 06/01/2025 23:05

imtoo · 06/01/2025 20:30

So I can walk up to someone and say you’re fat and ugly. It’s not rude that’s just my opinion.

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YAB ridiculous now.

That is nothing like the examples you gave in the OP. Clearly, that would be a personal comment which is an attack on that person and you know full well it would be incredibly rude.

stargirl1701 · 06/01/2025 22:53

Telling someone they are fat and ugly is rude.

Telling someone a BMW is a waste of money is an opinion.

These are totally different things.

I've spent this evening discussing how to 'take' opinions with my 10 year old. Point one of my advice was who is saying it? Someone you love and respect? Some random? That essential difference is how much weight you place on their opinion.

MandyFriend · 06/01/2025 22:05

It can be so rude when people offer unsolicited opinions, especially when they're being so critical!

Exasperated24 · 06/01/2025 21:57

imtoo · 06/01/2025 20:34

I’m not lacking in self confidence over a flipping airwrap . It was just a recent observation I made when I was asked what I used and told I’d wasted my money. I wouldn’t tell anyone they wasted their money as it’s not my money and we all have different priories. I’m capable of saying I have something without the need to put down what someone else has.

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The poster was agreeing with you…

FWIW I voted YANBU but beginning to think that others are right in that you’re over sensitive.

GiraffesAtThePark · 06/01/2025 21:51

I think there’s a difference between people who occasionally do this unintentionally from just sharing their different opinion and some people who constantly make such remarks to put people down.

I agree with PP that it’s often a conversation killer as most people don’t want to be all defensive.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 06/01/2025 21:41

Interesting thread. What I find awkward about these sorts of exchanges, is that it kind of kills a conversation. I find I don't want to come across as defensive, or trying to justify something that isn't even really worth that much consideration so I end up sort of grasping around for a reply or trying to change the subject. I'm up for a debate about Interesting topics where one might have legitimate differences of opinion, but things like appliance preference are just a bit - eh? when it crops up like this. Not sure I'm explaining myself very well, but the thrust of the OP resonates.

MellersSmellers · 06/01/2025 21:39

Yes you're being too sensitive, but those people are being too insensitive!

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 06/01/2025 21:34

imtoo · 06/01/2025 17:54

Nope the air wrap was a gift and I absolutely love and get so much use out of it.

In term I wouldn’t turn to someone who said they had a different brand that’s cheaper and say I couldn’t possibly use something so cheap on my hair.

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Hmm. Did the person who gifted you the air wrap recently get married? 🫢🫢

candlerhyme · 06/01/2025 21:29

Many people have little clue as to how uninteresting their opinions are. The correct, polite response is always, 'how nice'. And then shut up. No one cares what you think.

FizzyBisto · 06/01/2025 21:18

Nobodyknowsitall5 · 06/01/2025 20:38

I think the poster is saying that the person who criticised you is the one who lacks confidence.

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@imtoo

Thanks - yes, and apologies for any confusion, OP. I was referring throughout my post to a 'you' who might say the kinds of thoughtless, rude things as you highlighted.

I fully agree with you, OP.

SiobhanSharpe · 06/01/2025 21:04

imtoo · 06/01/2025 17:56

But I didn’t ask for the opinions. They asked me something and I told them.

If I said to you “what car do you drive” and then you told me and I made a comment about it being a shit model then that wouldn’t be rude and unnecessary?

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Unfortunately some people will give you their opinion whether you ask for it or not.
And I drive an Audi A5, bad mouth it all you want. I really don't care.
Which is the point I was trying to make earlier.

FinallyDecided · 06/01/2025 21:03

Yeah but really OP you should give the airwrap back to your sister's friend 😌

Original poster

imtoo · 06/01/2025 20:57

Squadrona · 06/01/2025 20:39

You’re very argumentative on here,,OP. Did you challenge these two commenters in the same spirit, or did you save it for the anonymity of the internet?

😴

Why is the OP on AIBU never allowed to say anything?

OP posts:

Squadrona · 06/01/2025 20:39

You’re very argumentative on here,,OP. Did you challenge these two commenters in the same spirit, or did you save it for the anonymity of the internet?

Nobodyknowsitall5 · 06/01/2025 20:38

imtoo · 06/01/2025 20:34

I’m not lacking in self confidence over a flipping airwrap . It was just a recent observation I made when I was asked what I used and told I’d wasted my money. I wouldn’t tell anyone they wasted their money as it’s not my money and we all have different priories. I’m capable of saying I have something without the need to put down what someone else has.

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I think the poster is saying that the person who criticised you is the one who lacks confidence.

Original poster

imtoo · 06/01/2025 20:34

FizzyBisto · 06/01/2025 20:01

Nothing at all wrong with stating that you made/make a different decision and giving your reasons - but there's absolutely no need to be so rude as to put down the other person's equally valid choice.

In general, using the word 'waste' when talking about somebody else's perfectly valid choice that differs from yours is deliberately disrespectful and going on the offence.

I mean, if they're saying that they like kicking puppies for fun, you very much should make it clear that your own choice not to do that is infinitely better; but when it's just a slightly different and neutral consumer choice or how you budget your annual leave, it's just stupid and pathetic to try to come across as superior.

It just sounds like you're woefully lacking in self-confidence If you feel you have to put somebody's choice of hair dryer down to make yourself feel good.

I’m not lacking in self confidence over a flipping airwrap . It was just a recent observation I made when I was asked what I used and told I’d wasted my money. I wouldn’t tell anyone they wasted their money as it’s not my money and we all have different priories. I’m capable of saying I have something without the need to put down what someone else has.

OP posts:

Original poster

imtoo · 06/01/2025 20:30

Mercurial123 · 06/01/2025 19:37

They aren't rude, just giving an opinion. If you are so sure of your decisions, then that's all that matters. You're too sensitive.

So I can walk up to someone and say you’re fat and ugly. It’s not rude that’s just my opinion.

OP posts: