To let out spare bedroom to DH's friend or not?

My DIL had a female friend who had been her best friend since first day of school ( both mid 20s by the time of the visit) DIL is American but living in the UK. The friend flew over to stay for a few weeks. The person DIL found herself actually living with was very different from the friend she was expecting. She rarely showered ( admitted that ex boyfriends flatmates had spoken to him about how badly she smelt). She made food at random times and failed to clear up. She rarely washed her clothes or bedding and , when she did it was left hanging all over the small flat for days. She didn't want to work, expected lifts everywhere , never bought food and was late paying her share of the utility bills ( the only contribution they asked her to make). She ended up staying for 6 months. The friendship was destroyed. Don't do it Op. If you don't need the money DO NOT DO IT.

Hell no.

We had a friend stay as a lodger for a few months. It was OK but I think everyone was ready for him to move to his own place when the time came.

We didn't have children then and everyone was out at work during the week.

Will he be out during the day? I think if he's there during the day while you're at home on ML it might be a bit claustrophobic. However, if he's good at helping with baby and your toddler he might be really good to have around. You won't be BFing all the time.

We charged a below market rate but added a bit for food. He ate with us because it would have been frustrating for me if he was using the kitchen when I wanted to be preparing food.

No no no! We did the same thing for my BIL. Supposed to be a short term 2 months, ended up being almost 2 years because husband felt sorry for him. Things went missing out the fridge he didnt own up to and he brought women back which was embarrasing bumping into them outside the bathroom in the morning. Do you want a man you yourself have only known a few months living with your baby and child? If you do make sure to draw up a contract. Take care.

If you do it, you will undoubtedly be back here in a few weeks to complain about the horrible man who is living in your home and how you never expected him to be such a problem.

No absolutely not.

I rent a room to people but I wouldn't do it if I had young children.

Plus you have to be prepared for a lot to go wrong, it's hard living with people.

DH’s beat friend lived with us for 2 months. But pre-kids, he had a very intense job so barely saw him, DH had actually shared a bedroom with him at school so was confident he was housetrained and we knew it was definitely temporary because he’d signed a lease to start in 8 weeks. All fine! But a scenario where you’d be sat in your bedroom feeding the baby whilst he was sat with his feet up in your lounge, absolutely not. You’ll eventually end up resenting him for feeling uncomfortable in your own home and it’ll likely lead to tension and a fall out. For the sake of the friendship don’t do it. Also, he’ll surely be way happier in a flat share where crying babies don’t wake him up?

My mind works the same as yours @endsnewyearsday!

Don't do it OP!

I don't understand why he would want to when instead he could rent a room in a house for the same price and not have any of the annoyances that come from a house containing such small children.

There's literally no reason for him to take the offer of your spare room over any other room??

No, for various reasons it'd be more trouble than it was worth. It sounds like you think it's somehow expected? Save the effort for when his family come over.

Absolutely not , stranger in the house no matter how good a friend to my husband would have me uneasy , that's without the kids . I don't think anybody would want to live with a young family that wasnt their own, with the kids up early or during the night .

Don’t do it.

And I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my kids alone with him.

We've done it for a work colleague (but someone we both knew well). They had no problems paying a modest rent, but it was on a Sun-Thurs night basis only (they went home at the weekend, it was a temporary distance thing). You might want to consider that as a half-way option. If they're working with your husband you'll know the hours they'll be working. Sunday night to Thursday night with you for a modest rate, and they take themselves off to a Travel Lodge/Premier Inn for Friday and Saturday night so they're out of the way of your family at the weekend.

(they might find that Travel Lodge/Premier Inn offers them a very good deal for a long-term stay, another colleague did this for several months)

God, no, why on earth would you do that? There are tons of threads on here where someone lets a friend stay for a while and it ends up a nightmare.

You don't even know this guy. You have said you want privacy while feeding. Surely you'd want privacy in the evenings, too. Would you want your husband and this guy to be watching something you don't want to watch or gaming all night? Do you want to cook for an extra person?

You don't even need the money!

It is very kind of you to think of helping the friend.

But if your husband has not suggested renting the spare room to his friend, best not to bring it up.

Terrible idea. I also can't see what is in it for him frankly. If he's a half way decent bloke he's goign to feel obliged to be friendly, helpful and social to the rest of you when really, he probably jsut wants to be able to crash at the end of the day, facetime hsi family and go to bed. Maybe with some beers.

Unless you're desperate for the cash, do not do this.

If he's a good friend, perhaps get into a routine of inviting him for dinner every Wednesday night.

I wouldn't.
It sounds like far too much hassle

Sorry but why oh why would he want to live in a house with a toddler and a newborn?

Unless you’ve got a separate annexe or wing.

I wouldn't even contemplate it. Would you seriously let him do "childcare" when you barely know him? (Sorry if I've misinterpreted that). You don't need the money, you definitely do not want to be breastfeeding around him, you've no idea whether he's a domestic god or the slob from hell. Also, 4 months could easily stretch into a year. So much could go very, very wrong. Why go there?

£600 a month to rent a room with a baby and toddler in the house, and expected to help with childcare! Stuff that!

If you don’t need the money then don’t do it. It will feel so awkward etc

Have you seen the other thread, whereby the op let a friend stay in their spare room when she had housing difficulties. It was meant to be e for a short while, but the friend has abused the generosity and been abusive and now op is evicting her.

point this friend to spare rooms.com.. He can rent a room there.

if you don’t need the money, can’t quite believe you’re contemplating a stranger to stay in your house.

Awful idea. Unless I need of the money I wouldnt

I wouldn’t. Surely you wouldn’t charge full market rate to a friend anyway? You sound like you’re seeing this an easy way to get yourself some money rather than trying to be helpful to an old friend in need.