To let out spare bedroom to DH's friend or not?

No.

You would need to treat like a lodger not as childcare. He would need to cook his own meals and not share.

He would hear you having sex.

You would need to get dressed before going downstairs etc

I just find it odd that it’s cheeky to expect a man to babysit but not a woman.

Nothing to do with anyone's sex, he's a stranger and generally it's considered cheeky and unwise in equal measure to expect or allow a stranger renting to do childcare.
You can reach for sexist all you ĺike , nothing to do with it.

We rented our spare room to a friend of DH’s, in our early 20s. Seemed like a great idea but having another adult there meant we never had time to ourselves, and his habits soon annoyed the hell out of us. I’d only do it if I was desperate for the cash.

Surely a mate wouldn’t have to be that much?

So it’s cheeky to expect men to do childcare but not women? Sexist much.

So?
This man is a complete stranger to these children not a family member .

Strange how on the thread where the OP was renting a room from her sister, lots of posters were telling her that it’s only right she regularly babysits the kids.

Good grief NO!
But also I think you are being very cheeky expecting someone renting from you to do Childcare !
It's a bizarre suggestion

God no. Very high chance you will ruin your maternity leave and your husband will lose a friendship in one fell swoop. Familiarity breeds contempt ...

You've jinxed this by posting on MN.

If he's a stranger to you Op then don't do it. He may be lovely but your DH's men friends won't automatically be like him, your DH might like him and you might find him lazy /overbearing /creepy. If you're at home with a small DC you don't want to end up trying to be out all day because you can't cope with his friend. If you knew him it would be different

I asked my DHs best mate to move in a couple of weeks before lockdown when he fled from his abusive ex. Charged him a third of all bills which was about £350 a month plus food (maybe £100?). We had a cleaner every week, did our own laundry, took turns to cook and each had our own bathrooms. For the most part I so enjoyed it! He bought his own place after 18 months or so as he wouldn’t have been able to save renting, and helped him loads with the process & getting another job so he was happy. Had a couple instances of him being loud bringing people back but a few expletives shouted down the hall sorted it out haha. Sometimes him & DH paired up against me, sometimes me & him did and sometimes DH and I did against him haha! All in all it was great, would recommend & he basically paid for our wedding! DH wouldn’t recommend though haha.

Lodger income is mainly tax free, we updated the home insurance & mortgage and didn’t have to pay anything extra to do that. My biggest caveat is that none of us had kids!

Separate annex with own front door, bathroom and kitchen ( that he cleans). No access to the family home without prior discussion. Proper rent/ contract etc . If this was the situation I'd absolutely consider it. In the same house as you and 2 small children. Never, ever, ever. Asking a man ( or woman) you know very little about, to do any form of childcare whatsoever. Not a cat in hells chance.

I had a friendship end when I allowed a former work colleague to stay at my place for a week. She initially told me that she only needed somewhere to sleep, as she had multiple friends in my city and she would be out with them most of the time. Either she lied about having friends or they were completely avoiding her because she was at my place 24/7, expecting me to arrange entertainment and drive her, eating all my food, making a huge mess and smoking inside after I explicitly told her it wasn't allowed. She actually demanded I drive her to a tourist spot 2 hours away before I left for work in the morning, then whined and pouted when I told her she'd need to take a cab or bus. I dropped her off at the airport, then blocked her number.

I'd only do it if you're offering less than market rate (no more than £400 from what you've said) and don't expect any free childcare, just equal share of the housework. I'd do this for a good friend of mine or DP's and would trust my partner's judgment on which of his friends we'd have a good housemate relationship with. But I'd only do it if I thought we'd all enjoy living together.

There are lots of threads like this, it always goes tits up and the friends end up never speaking again.

Why do you assume he will want to do child care? Most men are not keen on looking after kids unless it's their own, and sometimes not even then.

I’d consider a Monday to Friday lodger, but frankly I wouldn’t have a friend of my husbands move in.

If you don't need the money absolutely not.

Your maternity leave should be spent enjoining your baby. I couldn't imagine the stress of having a male you dont know well in your house at such an important time.

If things don't pan out as expected with his behaviour, length of stay or him bringing his family it could be really awkward for your husband to address.

This. Why on earth would he do childcare for you?

what do you mean help with childcare? you don't even know him that well. Ok your DH does but do you really think the guy is going to want to 'chip in'

I’d consider it for weekdays only but not on a full time basis

some help with childcare as having an extra adult around the house helps

Why would he be doing childcare as a paying lodger?