To let out spare bedroom to DH's friend or not?

No, you've said you don't need the extra money.
If you're happy in your bubblet at the moment, don't bring in a whole lot of reasons to jeopardise that.

There will be days, your baby or child will be sick, or you all had a bad night's sleep.
Days you'd like to have family or friends call over.
Days you'd like to stay in pj's and stay home.
It'll be harder to get him to leave, if he can't find somewhere else to live.

Only if you are on the breadline and absolutely desperate for money....and even then I would rent a room to a stranger rather than blur the lines with a friend.

Absolutely not.

No way. Offer him a stop gap to stay for a weekend as a friend but;

• you're going to go through ups and downs, probably frustrations with your DH because you're both tired and parenting two smalls is a lot. If you're going to hide away to breastfeed...it's just a bad idea.
• charging full whack to a friend is a bit crap, I'd expect mates rates and four months is a long time for things to go wrong, misunderstandings around groceries, bills etc which could affect the friendship, especially in the situation you're in on mat leave. And you want some bloke round the house all the time when you're trying to change nappies, take a nap yourself etc?

No part of this is a good idea.

This

No.
Fuck that.

I agree with this. My daughter brought a friend to live with us(initially I didn't mind as he's generally a nice kid)but living with this lad is totally different. He rarely washes (he smells)sleeps all day does no laundry never washes up. I come home from work to a whole sink of washing up and him claiming he doesn't know how it's all been produced while I've not been in the house. He has almost doubled my food bill and I've now told him he has to leave as he's upsetting the household and winds up my kids. He pays board granted but his eating habits alone cost more than the board he contributes let alone the fact that my gas bill has gone up cos he puts the heating on when I go to bed and leaves it running all night. It's honestly been the most stressful 8months and I honestly wish I'd put my foot down and told my daughter no to letting her friend stay in the first place

I definitely wouldn't invite a male lodger with young children, and absolutely not with the expectation of leaving him alone with them or using him as childcare.
I doubt he'd want to live in a family home anyway, it's not exactly a good fit for a single man.

I wouldn't. You've already pointed out the negatives of him living under your roof in your original post. Plus I can't see him wanting to cough up £600 a month to live in a house with a family with little kids. You don't know his daily habits. He could be hugely annoying to live with and you'd end up regretting inviting him into your home. I see he also has a family of his own he definitely needs to find his own place sooner rather than later. Offering him a place to stay may make it too easy for him to not bother looking and you could end up with him staying a lot longer than originally agreed

Absolutely not, and if he has a family of his own then I can't imagine he is up for this idea either. If I was him I'd be relishing the chance for some quiet alone time!

Hi wouldn’t want to rent a room in a house with a baby and all that that brings (noise during the night, smell & mess that naturally happens).
and why would you expect someone renting a room to help with child care? That’s just bonkers, friend or not

If he wanted or needed to do this he definitely would have asked

This is a disaster waiting to happen. You don’t need the money but want to charge market rate. Market rate AND you want him to take turns cooking for you, DH, your kids and himself ( instead of just himself) and you want help with childcare BUT don’t want to sit in your room all the time ( so I imagine he would be sent to his room). And so it’s the same money but more work and less privacy for him AND your DH and him will inevitably end up reverting to the age they met and you will be a gooseberry.

plus, just to add it in there. My dads best friend/ my sisters godfather, sexually abused me and repeatedly raped me when he was staying with us. He was also convicted of raping his step daughter daily for over a decade between age 7-17. You can never ever ever truly know another person. And you certainly don’t know this person even if your DH does.

It isn't in the best interests of anyone. Charging full rent is good for you bad for him.
He would be feeling uncomfortable as much as you would be with 2 very young kids, someone he hardly knows and not being able to be himself. He may even feel like he has to say yes because it's his mate and his family he would be helping with the extra cash. Feeling like he can't come and go as he pleases because he won't want to disturb you and the kids and will even feel tied to his bedroom.
He could rent somewhere at full rent and be his own person. Go and do as he pleases.
It's a bad idea all round and can see it causing tension and bad feelings between you and hubby as he'll be in the middle of it all. Bad feelings between hubby and his friend and bad feelings between you and his friends. Anything that annoys you will build up and you'll tell hubby who will feel obligated to air it to his friend, then his friend will have his version and then hubby will be torn. Nope don't do it.

This has disaster written all over it.

I couldn't think of anything worse than having anyone extra in the house while I was on maternity leave. Why would you do it if you don't need the money? My maternity leave was such a precious time I wouldn't want anyone or anything to spoil it.

If the friend is female then no

From his perspective why would he want to? I'd pay the money not to stay in a house with small kids, having escaped my own.

It would be my idea of hell if I was DH’s friend

nobody gets a good deal in this setup

Where are his family now, op?
Why will he wait 4 or 5 months before having them join him (from God knows where)
Such a strange tale.

Short answer - no.

Long answer - noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

But you can’t expect childcare from a lodger anyway.

From your original post it seems like this is entirely your idea. You’re thinking of suggesting it to your husband?
I can’t see why you’re even considering this…

Bring his own family over from where?

I don’t really think there are any positives to this - for you/ dh, your very young children or your dh’s friend.

Absolutely agree with this.