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Original poster

Are all men like this???

31 replies

Gramaphone · 06/01/2025 17:22

Ok bit of a rant!

My husband has this really annoying habit of giving orders…..

eg, he is standing in kitchen, and there is leftovers from lunch. He says they need to go in fridge. Why tell ME?? Just DIY!

eg2. Wood burner. Logs on, burning nicely. “The vents need shutting”
He is sat equidistant from me….DIY!

eg3. “I ordered xx, have you checked the postbox recently?” No. Go look in it!!

argh! Also we are going on holiday on Friday. I got the cases out, mine is packed. He hasn’t even started…..

lol x
happy new year 🥳

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GiddyRobin · 06/01/2025 22:35

No, mine just...does it. We work as a team. If one of us sees something that needs doing, we just sort it or add it to our mental list. Often the other has got there first - like tonight the bedsheets needed changing. I got a bath and was going to do them afterwards. Came out and DH had already sorted them.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 06/01/2025 22:28

Porcelainpig · 06/01/2025 17:46

My favourite line in my (all male) house is "sometimes in order to find things you have to move other things"

I have 2 boys who are incapable of finding things. I'm always saying this too. Or "pick something up, anything. Is it your shoe/book/coat/toy? No? Pick up the next thing. Is that your shoe/book/coat/toy? No? Pick up the next thing..."

NoCarbsForMe · 06/01/2025 22:11

Nope. Not mine. He is great at getting stuff done.

wastingtimeonhere · 06/01/2025 18:57

wasting...not Waiting..arrrgg 🤣

LouisvilleSlugger · 06/01/2025 18:54

randomchap · 06/01/2025 17:33

Yes, all men are exactly the same. There's a factory churning them out somewhere

😂 But seriously, the misandry on MN gets worse and worse.

wastingtimeonhere · 06/01/2025 18:52

Mine will know I'm in the middle of doing something, then calls me... him:'Waiting!'
me:yes?
him: Waiting!
me: I'm doing something! What is it?
him: can you come here please?
me dropping what I'm doing..
him: this needs cleaning/moving/tv not working delete as needed
me: and? I was busy!
aaarrrggg

Leafy74 · 06/01/2025 18:50

I wonder what Mumsnet would do if a thread had the same title with the word black added in?

StillweriseLH · 06/01/2025 18:50

Why on earth would you be packed on Monday? You don’t leave for days!

Meadowfinch · 06/01/2025 18:46

No, he knows it would get him nowhere.

I suggest a steely stare, a long silence and then 'gosh, really!'

😊

Sassybooklover · 06/01/2025 18:42

My husband occasionally does this! My response is usually 'and, you're telling me because?' Or I say 'well, you are capable of doing X, as well as me'! I call my husband out.

Cynic17 · 06/01/2025 18:07

No, all men are not like this.
Plus, today is Monday - you are not going away until Friday, so why is your case already packed? All you will have is creased clothes!
Optimum time to pack would be Thursday afternoon/evening (and I say this as a female).

PangolinPan · 06/01/2025 18:05

Mine does a lot of "we need to do this" which means he expects me to do it.
I just say...go ahead...

And sometimes I flip out and say I'm not at work, he's not my manager, wind your neck in!

CarolinaWren · 06/01/2025 18:03

"So get up and go do it. You don't need to ask for my permission."

Nourishinghandcream · 06/01/2025 18:02

No.🤔
In fact my OH is the driving force and will do most things without even asking, he also anticipates what may need to be done.
I am much more laid back and find that when I think about doing a task, he has already done it.😆

Perhaps because he lived on his own for a couple of years before we met?
Whatever, have been together over 30yrs and it seems to work.👍

PondWarrior · 06/01/2025 17:58

Gramaphone · 06/01/2025 17:22

Ok bit of a rant!

My husband has this really annoying habit of giving orders…..

eg, he is standing in kitchen, and there is leftovers from lunch. He says they need to go in fridge. Why tell ME?? Just DIY!

eg2. Wood burner. Logs on, burning nicely. “The vents need shutting”
He is sat equidistant from me….DIY!

eg3. “I ordered xx, have you checked the postbox recently?” No. Go look in it!!

argh! Also we are going on holiday on Friday. I got the cases out, mine is packed. He hasn’t even started…..

lol x
happy new year 🥳

Mine says “Do you want to…?” to mean “Please do…”

E.g. it would be “Do you want to put the leftovers in the fridge?” and “Do you want to close the vent?”

🤬

NinnyNonnyNu · 06/01/2025 17:54

My wife does this, it was driving me crazy but then i realised she isn't asking me to do it she is just saying it out loud as an instruction/reminder to herself.

I have a constant narrative in my head of what's happening and what i need to do etc but she doesn't have this, she doesn't have an internal voice.

No idea if it's the same for your husband though.

APushbikeNamedReluctance · 06/01/2025 17:53

Does he expect you to do it? I mean does he get annoyed if you don't obey?

My husband says this sort of thing occasionally- I just laugh at him and say "does it now?" and he does it.

QueenofHebdenBridge · 06/01/2025 17:52

@Porcelainpig that really made me laugh!

HyggeTygge · 06/01/2025 17:48

TwattyMcFuckFace · 06/01/2025 17:44

Honestly, I role my eyes so hard that these constant 'Are all men like this?' threads, I'm surprised I haven't detached a retina.

Show quote history

Same here.

Also this is a question about whether you had noticed something in the postbox, not an order to do it "“I ordered xx, have you checked the postbox recently?”"

And actually the others are either passive 'orders' or he's voicing out loud what needs doing - does he explicitly ask/tell you to do it? Because I sometimes say 'oh we need to get milk' and it doesn't mean I am ordering anyone to do it. But depends on context.

Porcelainpig · 06/01/2025 17:46

My favourite line in my (all male) house is "sometimes in order to find things you have to move other things"

TwattyMcFuckFace · 06/01/2025 17:44

randomchap · 06/01/2025 17:33

Yes, all men are exactly the same. There's a factory churning them out somewhere

Honestly, I role my eyes so hard that these constant 'Are all men like this?' threads, I'm surprised I haven't detached a retina.

latetothefisting · 06/01/2025 17:41

I wouldn't consider any of these orders, though? You could possibly interpret them as hints, but to me an order would be specifically telling you to do something, not generally announcing something needed to be done. e.g. "Put the food in the fridge/Close the vents/go and check the letterbox."

If someone said the comments to me I would just agree but not assume he wanted me to do it, it could just be speaking out loud, and if it was a hint I'd just ignore it if it! "The leftovers need to go in the fridge" "Yes they do." "The vents need to be shut" "Yep." "Have you looked in the letterbox?" "No."

JustJacques · 06/01/2025 17:40

randomchap · 06/01/2025 17:33

Yes, all men are exactly the same. There's a factory churning them out somewhere

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

LouisvilleSlugger · 06/01/2025 17:34

Nope. I’m the one who sits and gives orders in our house.

AyrnotAir · 06/01/2025 17:34

No my DH doesn't do that ever. I'd be asking him whats stopping him checking or doing it, that would drive me mental.