Did I overreact or did he?

He's either trying to cause an argument to get you to end things or (less likely) he's playing a longer game of angling to move in with you as a solution' to him having no money and no time to see you. I would let him take the lead in the relationship for a while and observe his behaviour. If he raises it again just say something like 'no problem I really don't want to get in the way of anything just let me know when you have got time' and leave it at that and wait for him to contact you.

Yes it’s a very weird thing to say. He’s either trying to fill you with insecurity or he’s trying to gently call it off.

Wgatever the reason it hardly sounds like he’s that into you or making you feel good in what should be the honeymoon period.

Just do him a favour and tell him you’ve had a think and you agree it’s not working and you want different things. Bye!

I would opt out now. He is telling you that you aren't what he wants to spend his time on. To me it seems like he is trying to set up a situation where he can pop by for a quick shag but then be off to do the important things rather than wasting his time spending it with you. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't see value in spending time with me.

I’m hearing that he sees dating you as a distraction from what he really wants to be doing which is focusing 100% on his business.

I would ask him if that interpretation is correct and act accordingly.

I don't think either of you are completely wrong. I think the problem is how the convo went. I'd have been inclined to say something like, "Oy, are you talking about me as a distraction?" if I was feeling lighthearted or, perhaps something like, "what distractions are you talking about" before jumping to conclusions. It also forces him to spell it out if he means the relationship.

And then, depending on how that goes, I think it's fine to say that you don't mind seeing him less if that's what he needs, or, that actually, you aren't fine with spending less time together so perhaps he needs to prioritise the business and let the relationship go.

I don't think you are being unreasonable nor do I think you over reacted . I think it's quite rude of him to say that to you especially on two occasions when you have spent time together. I think you were right to ask him and I think his response again was quite rude. OK, obviously it's only 3 months in so of course there isn't going to be promises of anything serious yet, but he could have reassured you that you are not one of these distractions. Maybe go on a few more dates see how he is or if he says it again? You will know in your heart or by his behaviour if you are wasting your time

I don't think either of you overreacted, really; I can see it from both sides.

I can see why you're concerned about what he's been saying about distractions and not concentrating 100% on his business, especially as he's been saying it to you after dates.

However, I can also see why - if he's already twice reassured you that he wants to keep seeing you - that you questioned him for a third time looking for reassurance again, especially this early in the relationship.

I think it was a weird and insensitive comment for him to make after spending time with you and your response was fair. No one knows what the future holds and if you will go the distance 3 months in. But he should know if he is open to and has time for a relationship before getting into one. I would take his comments as planting seeds to end it, the fact he didn’t reassure you speaks volumes

Plus, as usual, we should always listen to our instincts. They’re there for a reason

I would bring it up as if he has already said it several times and then when you ask him he flips it to be about you asking about future. Those are two different. No point in saying him if he isn't sure about wanting to date at all at this time.

The fact that he got annoyed instead of reassuring you is a massive red flag. It hints to a ‘guilty conscience’. Attack is the best form of defence.
I think he probably has doubts about the relationship but he’s going to wait till he is bored of the sex to end it.

If I was you I’d say nothing else and watch how your interaction develops. If he starts becoming busy ‘because of his business’ or makes comments like this again you should suggest you break up as this is clearly not a good time for him to be dating. See how he responds (but I bet he’ll break up and then blame you and say that this is what you wanted)

Did he not answer or reassure you that you weren't part of the distraction?

You mention DC so I'm assuming that you're not at his, or he at yours 24/7 and as he no longer has a day job I'm surprised he doesn't have plenty of hours in a day to crack on with his new business?

You'd be in a better position to put your mind at ease if you had a chat about what he sees as being the cause of the distraction, then take it from there.

I can see both sides. He needs to choose though if this is bothering you

I really don't think you were at all unreasonable and I agree that to say what he did at such an intimate time was insensitive (or in his mind, probably just honest). Personally, I wouldn’t want to continue with the relationship and would make other plans tor myself, alone or searching for something new. I think you know at 3 months how committed you are to a relationship.

he’s commented about how he feels disheartened and frustrated with himself because he wants to focus 100% on the business and stop getting distracted by other things.

Yep sorry. He is trying to break up with you without actually having the balls to say the words out loud. Get rid and move on.

But you didn't ask him to make promises... it's quite normal to be asking this after multiple comments. Let's face it, we are not talking about two 18-year-olds dating. I feel like this one is a non-starter. If he is having a knee-jerk reaction to a simple question, he is not considering a committed relationship and isn't mature or honest enough to tell you so.

I don't think that it was an outrageous overreaction by you but I do lean towards his point of view. For me, 3 moths after meeting a guy would still be see how it goes territory rather than asking for commitments about how he will feel in the future. Or even how he feels right now actually. Play it by ear.