Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not invite Best Man’s girlfriend to my hen party?

139 replies

BusyBride · 06/01/2025 14:31

I’ll try not to make this too long but give all the relevant details. My Fiancé (DF) and I are getting married abroad at the end of the summer with around 25 guests attending. DF’s friend is the best man and he’s been with his girlfriend for almost 2 years.

When friend and GF first started dating DF and I made every effort to make her feel welcome when we were all together and tried to get to know her but despite this she has always been very stand-offish. I don’t know her enough to dislike her but we seem to have very little in common and trying to have a conversation with her is impossible as it’s all one sided. When we meet I’m polite to her but I have to admit I no longer make as much of an effort to try and make a connection.

This brings me to my AIBU, where I am open to being told I am unreasonable. We are starting to plan our stag and hen parties (apologies to anyone who hates them) and when discussing mine with DF he realised I wasn’t planning on inviting Best Man’s GF. DF finds her hard work too and said that if we were having our wedding here then he wouldn’t expect me to invite her to the hen but as we’re getting married abroad and she’s coming to the wedding he thinks it’s unfair to not at least extend an invitation. My argument is that I am inviting only my closest family and friends, none of whom
she has met before. We will be going for dinner and drinks later in the evening but the early part of it will be an activity where we will be mingling and socialising, I really don’t want to be the only person there whom she knows and therefore not get to spend time catching up with my loved ones.

OP posts:
Purinea · 06/01/2025 14:45

I wouldn’t invite her unless she’s the only woman who will be at the wedding that wasn’t invited, then I think it’s a bit mean to leave her out

RobbingBanks · 06/01/2025 14:44

I wouldn't invite her, even out of courtesy. She's not your friend.

comedycentral · 06/01/2025 14:43

I'd invite her out of courtesy but she's likely to feel similar to you and not attend to be honest.

CollectedStories · 06/01/2025 14:43

It wouldn't occur to me to have invited her. Hens are for the brides friends and family. Not 'girlfriend of one of the groom's friends whom neither bride nor groom particularly like'. She's clearly not that into you either, so I doubt she'd be upset.

FoxtonFoxton · 06/01/2025 14:40

She won't go. She clearly feels the same way about you as you do about her. I doubt she'd want to go to your hen with loads of people she doesn't know. I'd invite her to be polite; at least then the refusal is on her end and not yours.

littlemissalwaystired · 06/01/2025 14:40

I personally wouldn't invite her. She's coming to the wedding and that's the main thing. It's your hen, you should have your friends and family that that you're comfortable around and who you want there. I'm getting married in a few months and the hen do is one thing I really would not invite people to out of obligationSmile

BusyBride · 06/01/2025 14:39

The hen party will be 2 months before the wedding. My only bridesmaid is my sister so yes DF is inviting her husband to his stag party but they will be brothers in law but I get where you’re coming from @yorktown

OP posts:
TheYeaSayer · 06/01/2025 14:39

I think I’d invite her, but not spend time babysitting her. Perfectly reasonable not to invite her though.

Is your bridesmaid has a male plus one, is he invited to the stag do?

Whoowhoopitstbesoundofthedapolice · 06/01/2025 14:39

I wouldn't invite her. It's your hen do for you and yours ...she's not in that category (harsh though that sounds).

Sparkletastic · 06/01/2025 14:38

yorktown · 06/01/2025 14:36

Out of interest though, is DF inviting the partners of your bridesmaids, etc. to his stag do?

Edited

Excellent question

Turophilic · 06/01/2025 14:37

She's not your mate, she's your DF's mate's girlfriend. No need for her to be at the hen do. She's his plus one.

yorktown · 06/01/2025 14:36

Out of interest though, is DF inviting the partners of your bridesmaids, etc. to his stag do?

Northernparent68 · 06/01/2025 14:36

is The hen do near in time to the wedding and abroad, but f so it’s a bit mean to expect the girl friend to stay in by herself

yorktown · 06/01/2025 14:35

I'd invite her. She might not want to go, and if she did, I wouldn't spend a whole lot of time looking after her, she would just have to muck in. But it would be a nice thing to do.
She'd know more people at the wedding as well then.

(I also think it's fine if you don't invite her, it's your hen do.)

Swipe left for the next trending thread